kwik-silva Posted January 16, 2010 Report Share Posted January 16, 2010 So! Yesterday I wrote a song, anybody else done any?? Mines: Lyrics: Morphine and Nicotine you set me free Dad do I disappoint you? Round the back allies that's where I call home, I'm not coming back tonight. Don't tell me that I can't 'cause I'll prove you wrong, **** you and believe in me. I know I'm not perfect but I'm trying to be better. Believe in me. I know, that we will never be together. But I will try, to reach your heights. They say, that we will always be together. But I'm just trying, for one more night. You're dead inside I can see I've hurt you deep, Time won't heal your scars. Your favourite weapon cries out at me, And goes tick, tock, in the dark. I wish I could tell you so many clichés If it, would help, my cause. But I'm out there, I'm far gone, I'm sleeping alone. This bed, feels, so empty. I know, that I've lost you forever. And I, will try, to stay away. One night, was never enough for me. There's clues, in the ditch, where I lay. Never got to see the world Or kiss you our last goodbye It was sudden, I hoped that I'd evolved I'm grief stricken and I've lost my hold I'll go and get, my rope. I knew, that we'd never be together. And I'm not coming back, to life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildman Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 I'd love to see the video, but the link doesn't work. Btw, great lyrics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travel_hymn Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 Here: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignorance Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 I tend to make up random songs in my head, but i never write them down and I never can record them. I'll try to post some crap sooner or later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildman Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 ^^ Thanks Lara. Wow, that was great Matt. I enjoyed it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignorance Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 Annnnnd, I just sat behind a rocking chair and wrote this (there's hardly any rhyming. And, it's absolutely horrible.)- I sat right down in the darkest of rooms and contemplated ridding myself of an empty life I didn't know why but all the signs were saying go away, go away, away So I grudged through meaningless days Hoping for something that made sense The first one was experimental The next ones were from stress The next ones were from disappointing you The next one was the deepest From one of my numb days Each scar is from my dumb ways One, two, three I need another way, please I tried all the methods but I need proof I need the scars to tell me whats happening Something to tell me what I'm doing when I'm bored and need someone to talk to Walking through these endless days All I needed was an escape You found out and asked me why I said hell if I know I actually cried Its been two times That I've been busted You're telling me to stop, I wish I could annnnd, I'm done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
777 Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 You should probably post that in the poem writing thread doll. It's more suitable there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignorance Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 In my mind it's a song. Twas written with a tune in my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
777 Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 mm, That's a good point. Besides...maybe this thread isn't exclusive to mr kwik silver anyway as "songwriters" is plural. So OK. I was going to say "Put it in the poem writing thread so I can comment on it" but here is good. I don't know about teen angst or whatever it is you said about it, I think it's pretty good! I like that it doesn't rhyme all the time and that it rhymes in a few ways. numb days, dumb ways that part was pretty awesome for an eleven year old you're pretty good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ignorance Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 It's all from some of my personal experience. I don't consider it good at all, but thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwik-silva Posted January 17, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 ^^ Thanks Lara. Wow, that was great Matt. I enjoyed it. Thanks mm, That's a good point. Besides...maybe this thread isn't exclusive to mr kwik silver anyway as "songwriters" is plural. So OK. It was meant for everybody and more towards the song side, the poemy thread just seems to be people posting stuff without much feedback And that's awesome Rebecca Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
777 Posted January 17, 2010 Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 Yeah you're right about that one, Nonetheless I enjoy reading em' I'll be posting a clip of a song I've been playing for a long time now...pretty soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwik-silva Posted January 17, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2010 Awesome I wrote another one this morning xD Fed up of your whining Constant chattering in my ear I know that you’re jealous But I’m the one that gets to be here The poisons taking over It’s turning me against you Those words that you utter Somehow they don’t ring true. Who knew, that it could be so hard to love another one? Who knew, that I could throw it away, when I’ve had my fun? Who knew, that residual pain, doesn’t just come from a gun? Who knew that I could be so selfish? How can I notice? But choose to ignore. I must take action We’ll turn into folklore. I’m fighting against it A constant battle I’m bound to lose It’s still destroying us gently. This trust I have abused. Who knew, that it could be so hard to love another one? Who knew, that I could throw it away, when I’ve had my fun? Who knew, that residual pain, doesn’t just come from a gun? Who knew that I could be so selfish? Who knew, that it could be so hard to love another one? Who knew, that I could throw it away, when I’ve had my fun? Who knew, that residual pain, doesn’t just come from a gun? Who knew that I could be so selfish? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SalsaC Posted January 23, 2010 Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 Yes I have. I've been writing solely with the piano lately, for some reason, trying to get a feel of the the more obscure key signatures. I usually end up writing so much stuff that I don't know what to use in the final product, and that makes me leave most of my stuff unfinished... I've never written lyrics, but I've been trying to get in to the habit... Matt, I can't listen to your songs right now, so that will have to wait. Lyrics seem cool, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParaAddictMore Posted February 17, 2010 Report Share Posted February 17, 2010 Not me but I love this song Can't you see that I wanna be there with open arms? It's empty tonight And I'm all alone Get me through this one Do you notice I'm gone? Where do you run to so far away? I want you to know that I miss you, I miss you so I want you to know that I miss you, I miss you so I'm writing again, these letters to you On much I know But I'm not sleeping and you're not here The thought stops my heart Do you notice I'm gone? Where do you run to so far away? I want you to know that I miss you, I miss you so I want you to know that I miss you, I miss you so No more looking I've found her I want you to know that I miss you, I miss you so I want you to know that I miss you, I miss you I've gone away Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Majent Story* Posted February 21, 2010 Report Share Posted February 21, 2010 Hey guys, do you guys critique or just read. I only ask because I have 'songs' but I dnt know how to improve them. I mean they don't have a chorus or a hook. Just raw words from my head.... Am feeling exposed but I will put something up anyways... be nice... I want to be something else Someone new, but who... I can't seem to decide on my path, Where I should reside, Or who's by my side I often think why This skin is foreign to me, truly unhappy when, she... Because I lay still, dormant to the outside world, Hidden from those I love She's taken my place, I want it back, I often scream cries, It's been so long though, I don't even understand, I'm unable to comprehend, what I'm looking for, I know it's misisng but cannot place my hand over it, The search continues, My unended song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SalsaC Posted March 12, 2010 Report Share Posted March 12, 2010 I don't think lyrics have to have a hook in them, or even a chorus. Depends on what you're going for, really, but familiarity and consistency can be implemented in the music itself and the lyrics can be let to express whatever it is that you want to express. A smooth stream of lyrics that goes For those Who used to be And now are In the dark Light a candle And say their name One last time Let them go We will follow When time comes To pray for life To begin again To eternity A flower will open On the grave can be much more powerful than something that's been specifically crafted to fit a format. As for the stuff you've already written, with the right music, it could be really good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Majent Story* Posted March 30, 2010 Report Share Posted March 30, 2010 Aww thanks. You really know your stuff. I will listen and learn for sure. How long have you been writing for?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SalsaC Posted March 31, 2010 Report Share Posted March 31, 2010 I'd hardly even call myself a writer I'm just talking about how I, as a listener, think about lyrics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Majent Story* Posted April 5, 2010 Report Share Posted April 5, 2010 I'd hardly even call myself a writer I'm just talking about how I, as a listener, think about lyrics. Yea I see what u mean. Lyrics are v important Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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