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Bullying


MSkeleton
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I wanted to make a thread about bullying.

Because I think many of us are getting bullied, or is bullied.

And so we can talk about our feeling and why?

Myself i've been bullied since I was 5 and still going on.

But at the time I was little I really, really blamed myself for it.

And had hard times to be alive.

But now at this point, I know better and im a stronger person.

I can say I dont have a high self esteem of myself, but I know in my mind if people are bullying me, it's only because there are jealous!

 

 

And im also making this thread, because there is something going on in the dutch 'hyves/emo' world.

There is this girl, and her name is Cynthia.

And she is getting bullied because of her looks, weight & behavior.

The girl has already a low self esteem and is suicidal.

And people know that and make fun of it!

Now her ex-boyfriend (who probably only had with her to get those pictures) posted nudes of her.

And he only did it so he got the people's attention, because people also are bullying him!

So now what? What if this makes her so upset, that she will kill herself?

I really hope that the people who are making fun of her, and think the pictures or hilarious will get so fucked up in their mind because they know it their fault!

This was just something I needed to get out of my mind.

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Ive been through bullying myself and that was years ago, but even today i have consequences from it, with no confidence and low self-esteem. Im a little stronger since then, and it all stopped just cause one i snapped back and punched one of the people doing it. Violence isnt the answer though.

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I think everyone goes through some type of bullying.

I wasn't really "bullied", but I did share some embarrassing moments where kids would just laugh at me.

I'm very sensitive and a lot of it got to me.

But going through high school, I feel like most kids my grade grew up and we all (luckily) became really close. So none of that really lasted; seems like only freshman and sophomores are the "bullies."

 

Honestly, people only do it for attention and/or to feel better about themselves.

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And they always are bullying me because they think I'm ugly.

The thing I hate the most are the people who say bad things about someone's outside appearance.

So many insecurities are made from them, which don't have to happen. It's not like somebody chose to have the body they have.

There's a difference between talking about it with someone else and telling it to the person's face. When they choose to tell it to them to their face, it shows how shallow those people really are. I would never say something like that to someone's face.

 

I am skinny. Some people say that's good, but some people say it in a negative way.

It's just how I am, I can eat 5 cheeseburgers in a day and not gain a pound.. it's just how my body is.

When people say something about my weight, it hurts A LOT because I always hear it and there's nothing I can do about it.

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I kind of get bullied every day. not directly by getting speeches like "ey yo stupid stranger!" but indirectly with the fact that i can do what i want, i am and will always be the girl on the border of everything who just gets strange looks from the others at all. as hard as it sounds, i'm used to it i think. that doesn't mean that this situation doesn't bring me down sometimes or that i'm super self-cofident, stand above everything, no that's not it. truely it's not. but i've never gotten to know another feeling so this situation is practically my "normal role" in life so far.

when i was younger i used to cut myself when i was really down, even tried to kill myself twice. i made it somehow to get through this and now i'm at the point where i just eat everything into myself which is not much better either at all. means i'll be ending up as a fat, ugly and old grinch in a few years if no miracle happens but i'm proud of that fact that i'm so honest with myself about this and not try to draw everything in a wonderful world though that's not the reality.

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Franny are you also getting bullied because you are in a ..... ?

because that would be so disrespectfull!

Maybe it's helpfull to wright the feelings down you feel, and not to eat it away?

 

And i dont only get bullied with words, they also hurted me.

They waited for me out school and would hit and kick me.

And i never had the balls to tell someone, neither my parents.

I always said that i was fallen with gym, of something else.

And i also cutted myself, and wanted to kill myself.

But then i thought, thats just what they want!

And then at that point i fought back, like ross said violence isn't the answer,

but it helped at that point.

But people will stay disliking me for the fact, i just do the thing i want and i like.

I dont want to be like all those other, their are enough of them in the world :]

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^Aww you guys :hug: :hug: :hug::(

 

I was kinda teased... in 2006-2007? Nothing that serious but they called me with names like every week for a year. In my opinion I was bullied for the most stupidest reason ever. I wore band shirts! They thought it was weird or something. Plus I listened to so called "heavy bands" like KISS, System of a Down and Alice Cooper (I still do like & listen to them!). And if anyone has ever bought band shirts they should know that it's pretty much the hardest thing ever to find a good sized band shirt! So I was wearing these big loose band shirts pretty much every day. Plus I wore a lot of black back then. I did wear some "colorful" clothes too but I guess the bullies couldn't notice that. And oh I started wearing make-ups about 6 months after everyone else. I didn't have that style for that long (about a year) and I think that it was a nice change since I had always been the girl wearing the purple butterfly shirts in elementary school :mrgreen:

 

I find most of the Finnish people stupid because of that. Cause when I changed my style "back to normal" like wearing skinny jeans and tops people didn't change their opinions. Well I think they shouldn't have judged me in the first place but still. There was a 'problem' but now it's fixed so why on earth they kept calling me that? It was sad that still in early 2009 I had to hear about it. Like will they ever forget or at least let it go? Back then I regretted my change of style and blamed myself but I'm glad of it now. Plus I'm way smarter now haha. I don't trust people that much anymore. But anyways in 2009-2010 people started acting differently towards me. Like they were getting friendly. And I felt terrible because when I saw their faces it just reminded me of how terrible they had been to me and now they were acting like nothing had happened? Like what the hell! I know that's what I wanted but still. Now my story is full of contradictions but whatever.

 

I still have some trust issues. With Finnish guys. And that certain kinda "popular girls". They are the worst.

But I'm glad that I'm not in the same school with those idiots anymore. And my fate in Finnish people is lightening up cause I haven't met any idiots in my new school.... yet :D

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Marjanne you can write it out that i'm sitting in a wheel chair, that's no secret on here anymore i think and in case somebody has a problem with it, he's just another arse. :)

 

but yes it's cause of that. it's always been cause of that, sad huh?

aw but the things you've had to go through, marjanne, are the worst things ever! you should never be afraid of going somewhere or feel abused. :(

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Ive been bullied a lot,when i was growing up there was some people who made my life hell beacause of my skin color. I had friends,and it wasnt always bad, but those people are the reason why my self esteem is low,and i can't even think back to that time of my life without getting upset.

 

and we also had those popular groups of guys and girls who always thought they were better than everyone else. And me and some of my friends got made fun of coz we didnt like all the things they liked and so on.

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Marjanne you can write it out that i'm sitting in a wheel chair, that's no secret on here anymore i think and in case somebody has a problem with it, he's just another arse. :)

 

but yes it's cause of that. it's always been cause of that, sad huh?

aw but the things you've had to go through, marjanne, are the worst things ever! you should never be afraid of going somewhere or feel abused. :(

 

i didn't know you're on a wheel chair. what happened? you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

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I've never really been bullied, but back in primary school the guys found it hilarious to say stuff and do stuff to me. I know they didn't mean it in a bad way though, but they thought it was hilarious when I fought back, seeing I was the only girl who actually did that. Which is why I got the worst of it. One time they actually all(like 10-11) pushed me down in the snow, and stepped on my back. That made me angry. But most of the time I didn't care what they said. I know violence isn't a good thing, but I kind of threw a stone in one guy's head, pushed another one in tons of nettle and kicked another dude. Heh.

Nowadays, I would say I take more stuff personal. Which is a bad thing. I wish I was more like when I was younger, I kind of moved in the wrong direction I guess.

Oh, I forgot. I got a lot of shit for not eating meat. Mostly by this one dude I really can't stand(it was he I threw a stone at actually), but a lot of the other guys were in on it as well.. Other than that, I've been pretty lucky.

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Marjanne you can write it out that i'm sitting in a wheel chair, that's no secret on here anymore i think and in case somebody has a problem with it, he's just another arse. :)

 

but yes it's cause of that. it's always been cause of that, sad huh?

aw but the things you've had to go through, marjanne, are the worst things ever! you should never be afraid of going somewhere or feel abused. :(

 

Okay franny. But i could remember when you told me i just needed to keep it for myself.

So out of respect <3 but i think you know that :) And thanks, but all those things made me the person who I am today. And it's more positive. But it stills hurts me when people call me names and stuff now.

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Grades 6 through 8 were an absolute nightmare for me. I had just about the worst classmates one could ever imagine getting and, to make matters worse, I had a vindictive principal who didn't like me because my parents were constantly complaining about the bullying I had to deal with every day. We had a family member who worked in the district who told us that the principal would actually put on his agenda discussing ways to get back at me because my parents made his job harder. It was pretty sucktastic. I was deliberately held out of advanced classes even though I more than had the grades for them, I was suspended twice for absolutely no reason, and given detention a handful of times for absolutely no reason.

 

Then high school happened, new principal, a kick ass AP and teachers who didn't know what happened to me in middle school. Within the first marking period, they were pulling me out of the regular classes and putting me in the advanced classes where I belonged and I wasn't taking a single bit of abuse from anyone anymore.

 

This is totally a function of the age though. Middle schoolers behave like jackasses, plain and simple. High school kids (with the exception of 9th graders who haven't really gotten it out of their system yet) are much more mature, especially by the time they hit 11th and 12th grade because there's so much focus on SAT's and getting into college they don't have the time to be dicks to each other.

 

I've run into some of the people who made my life a complete misery in middle school, now 16-18 years later, and they're perfectly fine upstanding citizens. One of them was in one of my post-grad classes, planning on going into science education. It was great being in a class with him because I'd already been on the job for a few years at that point and I was able to help him out a lot in getting headed in the right direction.

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Ive been through bullying myself and that was years ago, but even today i have consequences from it, with no confidence and low self-esteem. Im a little stronger since then, and it all stopped just cause one i snapped back and punched one of the people doing it. Violence isnt the answer though.

 

Solved my problems. Answered my solution.

 

 

 

 

But a morally correct way would manifest strength inside the person enduring harrassment. I myself have been a bully once and it's only been for attention. Trading in my wholesome face to humiliate someone just to elevate myself. At the time this was an awesome rush. Today it's shame and a lesson.

 

I think about my nephew being bullied and I oh so wish I had powers to change the world. So much to the point I have panic attacks for him. For everyone else also. I seen some guy get his a while ago and I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to hurt to protect. But sometimes you have to. Bullying is nasty. No one is born with hate. It's taught. Pressure to fit in, We all understand that all too well and I believe some who are reading this have an experience being the bully in some form or another. Shame it's bound to happen, You can't please everyone unfortunately. Seeing it from both ways has been helpful for me to adopt a passive selfishless life style.

 

Have been bullied, Faced racism from teachers and students alike because of being native throughout my elemetary years but have learned to forgive those that hurt me and prosecuted me with false charges. They were taught these things and the bully won't forget their victims. They themselves are victims to something that gave birth to their negative personality. This isn't the answer to everything but it will pass. Unfortunately it gets out of hand and too late sometimes.

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Okay franny. But i could remember when you told me i just needed to keep it for myself.

So out of respect <3 but i think you know that :) And thanks, but all those things made me the person who I am today. And it's more positive. But it stills hurts me when people call me names and stuff now.

true, but it really is okay now. my self-confidence kind of grew considering this point. =)

That's good then i guess cause you're just an amazing person from what i know! :)

Just sit with your butt on those things and it won't hurt you anymore, that's what mom and i just talked about as well.

 

i didn't know you're on a wheel chair. what happened? you don't have to answer if you don't want to.

i'm handicaped since i was born, they "messed up some things" after i've been brought up. bad destiny. ;')

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I was "bullied" for years during my childhood--from ages four to fourteen. Physically, psychologically, and emotionally. It really does change who you are and paves the way of who you become. I believe that, in the end, only we can decide how we let it change us but it definitely comes with a load of negative effects. I, for one, even at the young age of five, found myself to be low in the way of self-esteem. I always felt ugly. My self-esteem and sense of self-worth plummeted the most between ages eleven and thirteen where I found myself literally hiding myself in my clothes. I wore nothing but black and hoodies, regardless of the weather. In my hoodies, I would hide, even in my own home. I made sure to keep the hood on and my face as far in as possible so as to hide it from the world. I ALWAYS wore pants, even to bed. I would stop eating for periods at a time to lose weight. I attempted suicide various times between the ages of nine and twelve. Needless to say, I struggled a bit with being mistreated.

 

Now, I do still struggle with my self-image now and again but I no longer let the past weigh me down. What's done is done and nobody who ever hurt me in any way gets to decide how I feel about myself. I have forgiven and find myself moving on, leaving the memories to lose their strength. I've no desire for suicide, but a love for life. I do, however, have a strong resentment toward those who think they have the right to "bully" others. It's absolute BS and they don't know what it does to a person, unless they, themselves, are victims of "bullying." This is certainly an issue that needs to be addressed on higher levels and dealt with in a better fashion than society and law deal with it now. I still feel as though a great deal of it is swept under the rug; no one wants to discuss it or acknowledge it and that's a problem.

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I think one of the reasons why people felt it was so easy to bully me was that i never said anything back, i'm a very shy person, i avoid conflicts at all costs. Not that that's any excuse for what they did, but i guess when no one told them to back of it was easy to just keep it up.

Now tho, if someone were to say something i'd bite back!

 

I really don't get why people feel the need to put others down just so that they can feel good about themselfs.

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I've always have been bullied since I was little just because of my weight. But nowadays, it doesn't even phase me, I couldn't care less what people say, I am my own person and nobody can take that away from me. Plus the people who do the bullying (and it could be any of us too, we could be bullys ourselves) are only insecure on the inside and pick on the most susceptible people.

 

That's just the way it is.

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i don't think i was ever really 'bullied' i mean not to the point where the same people would pick on me continuously. i've been in situations where random different people will say something or make fun of me. sometimes i'll ignore it and others i'll say something back... depends on my mood.

 

but i'm the type of person that if when someone says something to/about me that i don't like i'll think about it ALL day and think "maybe i am like that or this"

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i'm handicaped since i was born, they "messed up some things" after i've been brought up. bad destiny. ;')

 

is it sth with your spinal cord? can you move your legs? i don't mean to be nosey, just curiosity.

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is it sth with your spinal cord? can you move your legs? i don't mean to be nosey, just curiosity.

 

nah it isn't, some brain cells which are usually responsibly for your ability to walk died cause i got too much oxygen during the ventilation.

i can walk a few steps with help and stuff, but don't have any balance so that i could walk on my own.

 

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i 'think' i was bullied. i was intimidated by some people quite a bit and fell victim to typical 'name calling' from about 13-15, and it did effect me at school for that period. around that time i suppose i seemed quite different to everyone else (i was a bit of an emo, not gonna lie). not many kids wore black hoodies and listened to cartel and fall out boy (that before they got shit). for a while i never really felt as if i had any true friends, but thankfully that changed when i was about mid-way through third year.

 

in a way i think it faired me quite well for the future, because now no one messes with this shit. ask ross, he knows. lol, nah seriously, i'm not nasty or anything... i just know how stand up for myself when it matters.

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i don't think i've ever actually been 'bullied'

i mean i've had people i didn't exactly get along with but i've never been like properly bullied by people

the first thing every therapist i've been to asks is "were you bullied?" and they're always shocked when i say no

guess i kept to myself just enough to not piss people off but also not make them think i'm weird

or something

just rambling now

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