The last thread

[Locomotion]

I truely dont know how to start this. To be honest this post wasnt supposed to be in the first place, but as Jarrod said it, all this has been an unfortunate chain of events.

 

I am sure this post will again cause problems and such and I do appologize because I know alot of you dont know whats going on and you really dont want to know.

 

I want to start saying that this post is not directed to Ashley Brown, you see even though all the stuff that happened I still respect ashley.

I dont know anyone one else in the staff past, present and future that has the kind of heart Ashley has; shes the definition of kindness.

I ask you not to hold any grudge against ashley, and to be honest I shouldnt be asking this because I know you wont, this post isnt even about ashley.

 

Now before getting to the main point of this thread I wanted to try and come as clean as I can with everyone of you. I will try to post about my major flaws, the major mistakes I have done in the past.

-For starters I ripped the MB video out of brightcove which helped spread the leakage, the worst mistake I did

-I asked help to Hayleyp(owner of p.org) to help us code the new layout, this wasnt ok with the staff. I understand their point.

-I managed to read the PMs of the staff members. This was mostly for personal reasons. Back talking about me, nasty stuff that was being said about me, but then again this is post is not about me, this post is about you, the user.

To be honest i dont know what else to write.... Maybe a staff member would like to fill this in for me.

 

I am going to put here a series of link, i want you to click the link and read all of them. What I ask for the staff is to explain these posts, the members deserve it. I know this is not nice at all, as I said in the 1st paragraph everything was ok was good, after the goodbye thread I felt pretty calmed and ok with everything that ahd happened, no grudge no problem. Later I get to see this.

 

http://img408.imageshack.us/img408/2267/lolxo4.jpg

 

and I am like WTF, I just didnt get it, that was not about me. Seriously the the hell is up with that post. After reading that I came to realise that it is indeed unfair to you guys, how are you suppose to know? These kind of things are not new, its obvious i didnt speak up before and maybe i should have.

I had these sicne long ago, idk i guess a part of me always hated this, and right now I think I am doing something I truely believe in.

 

 

http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/4198/59280287mg9.jpg

http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/5372/77847128xg6.jpg

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/6619/b1sw2.jpg

http://img103.imageshack.us/img103/47/b2kd7.jpg

 

To be honest I wrote this after i read Brents post about forgiveness and comming clean and i can tell it actually helped me see things in a differeny way. I am really hoping that post was sincere.

No that still didnt retracted me on doing this because well I think its better for people to know. People will understand better brents appology after reading this. As I said I really hope he meant that because as he said before in that same thread, people deserve second chances.

I hope other staff members can follow his example.

As for the appology directed towards me to be honest brent I cant accepted now, its been hell too much. Maybe after.

 

I hope this clears up alot.

 

and sorry if its still fuzzy, i really had a hard time posting this.

 

questions/comments...

[Guest JadeIsRad]

Wow, I'm shocked.

[nemesis90]

e-cock is just terrible.

[Kalas]

Annnnd this is what made me lose respect in the staff of this site....bar Ash

But if Brent's apology in the other thread is truely genuine

Then i guess the only way is to build bridges again

Some of that is really harsh

And i did find Brent's avoiding Kerrie thing a little annoying

Seeing as she is a long time member, and has contributed quite a lot

[Guest JadeIsRad]

What has happened to this forum?! a video gets leaked and then suddenly: BAM. aload of people leave and people start bitching about people behind there backs. what has happened to the boards?

[_*ATWKJesi*_]

:arghhhh:i have no words to explain what i'm thinking right now.. and i have to write it in english so i don't want to be all day here writing...

[Andrew]

Interesting... to say the least.

[thebrowncoat]

So that's that then. Some of this stuff is posted out of context, but there's no excuse for it either way - I've apologized to most of the people mentioned already in Jarrod's thread (http://www.paramorefans.com/boards/showpost.php?p=265279&postcount=42) - now you know why I was apologizing - but I'll reiterate it again here. I am sincerely sorry, particularly to Kerrie, who doesn't even come close to deserving me treating her the way I have. I let some things from the past get in the way there...I won't go into them - but I never gave her the forgiveness I'm now asking her to give me. I don't know if I even deserve it to be honest.

 

Diego - I'm not sure why you felt the need to air all of this in public, but I'm sure you have your reasons and - well, it never should have been said in the first place. I'm afraid you've succeeded in doing exactly what you said you didn't want to do, which is taking down this site and the boards, but I hope we can rebuild things after all this.

 

And to GerbertMcWay, parawhore815 and Itsgettingcloser - that was one of my bad days. Really bad days. I don't even know you guys that well and I took out some external frustrations on you all in a staff thread. I was frustrated with a lot of stuff I was dealing with, both site related and not related at all to the site...and it came out as me mocking you. That's no excuse though - I sincerely apologize to all three of you. I never should have done it.

 

So, now I guess everyone has seen me at my worst. There are perhaps a few people on here that can vouch that I'm not a terrible person...I sincerely care about this band, their music, this website and all of you guys. I just have my moments and well - now they're on display for everyone to see. And I guess that's as it should be...it's dishonest for them to be hidden.

 

So again, my sincerest apologies to everyone. I don't know what more to say. I doubt most of you can forgive me, I'm sure this has destroyed the opinions of others who knew nothing about any of this...but I guess that's what I get. A few stupid moments can ruin a lot, I guess.

[Locomotion]

Diego - I'm not sure why you felt the need to air all of this in public, but I'm sure you have your reasons and - well, it never should have been said in the first place. I'm afraid you've succeeded in doing exactly what you said you didn't want to do, which is taking down this site and the boards, but I hope we can rebuild things after all this.

 

Yes the main and only reason is that I dont think it was fair to the members. I cant put it in any more clear than that. As I said this post wasnt meant to be, i never thought iw as going to end up posting this. After reading the post from gloria it made me see think about all this.

[sophie]

i honestly don't know what to say.

seriously.

[jchurch004]

i believe brent was sincere. no once directly accused him, and he still made the apology. which takes alot of courage in my opinion. i also think it takes alot of courage to do what me and diego did and that is confront the situation head on and create change.

 

if change cant be created than it shows the true nature of the ppl on these boards. brent has showed his age, by stepping up and admitting his mistake. that makes me very happy to see. i mean it doesnt, the fact that it happened at all, but the fact that he is able to do this instead of running away and hiding is very courageous. to be hit with something like this is not easy. not that i would know, but i can imagine.

 

i want to apologize to the members of the boards to whom this has no effect on... truly to have you guys read this cluelessly and then react in a way that may be less than appropriate is very sad for me. i really didnt want everyone to see all of this. but i guess its the only way it could be done well. i truly apologize to each of you, because you have nothing to do with this and you were brought into it. but we are a family in a way here, so i guess thats what families do sometimes.

 

as for the ppl that this does involve, i hope we can try and move past this. forgive, but dont forget. it will really show these few that we are good people and can do things if we put our minds to it. and in that sense, what negative things could they say about us in the future?? if they still find things, than that is their own issue they need to work out on their own time. nothing we can do about it...

 

thanks diego. for posting this. i think itll open alot of ppl's eyes and maybe also brent and co. can learn from it and swallow down their negative shit next time they think about it.

 

i believe this could help the site. no matter what ash thinks. something good was done here. that is my opinion.

[thebrowncoat]

One other thing - I honestly need to apologize to a couple of other people as well.

 

First - to Ashley - the things I said and what it's all led to have damaged this site and these boards that you created and have worked so hard to maintain. You don't deserve to have to deal with any of this....I'm sorry for the damage I've done. You have my resignation from the staff if you want it.

 

And most importantly - I owe every single person on these boards an apology. I talk a lot about how we're all here together, how we're all in this together - how these boards and this site are all about you and you've made them what they are...and for me to say those things and then say what I did in the staff forum is inexcusable. I abused all of your trust and, even if it didn't affect you directly, it affected your friends or just this place that you've (hopefully) come to love. You all deserve more apologies than I have words for.

 

I don't know if any of this helps...it doesn't change the past - I know that - but it is sincere. I mean it with all my heart.

[Locomotion]

i believe brent was sincere. no once directly accused him, and he still made the apology. which takes alot of courage in my opinion. i also think it takes alot of courage to do what me and diego did and that is confront the situation head on and create change.

 

if change cant be created than it shows the true nature of the ppl on these boards. brent has showed his age, by stepping up and admitting his mistake. that makes me very happy to see. i mean it doesnt, the fact that it happened at all, but the fact that he is able to do this instead of running away and hiding is very courageous. to be hit with something like this is not easy. not that i would know, but i can imagine.

 

i want to apologize to the members of the boards to whom this has no effect on... truly to have you guys read this cluelessly and then react in a way that may be less than appropriate is very sad for me. i really didnt want everyone to see all of this. but i guess its the only way it could be done well. i truly apologize to each of you, because you have nothing to do with this and you were brought into it. but we are a family in a way here, so i guess thats what families do sometimes.

 

as for the ppl that this does involve, i hope we can try and move past this. forgive, but dont forget. it will really show these few that we are good people and can do things if we put our minds to it. and in that sense, what negative things could they say about us in the future?? if they still find things, than that is their own issue they need to work out on their own time. nothing we can do about it...

 

thanks diego. for posting this. i think itll open alot of ppl's eyes and maybe also brent and co. can learn from it and swallow down their negative shit next time they think about it.

 

i believe this could help the site. no matter what ash thinks. something good was done here. that is my opinion.

 

I couldnt agree with you more here, on every single point.

[XxSanctuaryxX]

I just kinda find the whole thing a bit... i really don;t know. I know it's not really my place to say anything, but i had no idea this was all going on.... I hope this doesnt affect the future of the boards...I just think we all need to forgive and accept and apologise at the same time, and hopefully move on. But like a lot of people, im just kinda shocked at the whole thing....

[Guest JadeIsRad]

^ yeah Sam, same here.

[Ive seen love die_]

It suprised me when this information was first presented to me. Suprised, and disgusted me. It definetly played a role in my decision to leave the boards. However, if I see that certain people on here are comitted to changing how some things work around here, I may want to stay. Maybe not like how it used to be, but certainly be a prescence here. I have a lot of friends here and this site has been a part of my life for almost a year. I think changes must be made and Diego was absolutely justified in posting this. It needed to come out, and things need to change. Now that I see it could happen, I am viewing things differently.

 

I believe posting this was the right thing to do. You can leave something behind and unburied, but someone will stumble across it eventually, and it could make things worse. If things had gone on the way they had been going, more people could have been hurt. I've seen Alyssa, Diego, Ash and Brent doing the most on this site, and I continue to have respect for all of them and my friendships with Alyssa and Diego will continue even after their time here. But those staffers have been very dedicated to this site and I believe that they DO deserve respect. And we do too - the people on this forum, we're part of this family as well. What was said was not respectful to us AT ALL. Even if we weren't one of the people talked about, it was still a breach of respect and trust. If they can talk about a few of us that way, they wouldn't think twice before opening their mouths about the rest of us.

 

But now that it has come out, I really hope for the best. I apologized in earlier threads for some harsh words said, and one of the things I was sorry for was thinking these boards could be brought down so easily. I believe everyone on here is a family, and as such we need to learn to work through things together - thick and thin, right?

 

I believe Brent was sincere, and I don't harbor hatred or anything of the like for him, since I do believe he has been genuine and has come clean with us. While I don't know how the others whose words have been put on display here will act, I respect Brent for stepping forward and taking responsibility. I believe that is one of the hardest things in life to do, and it shows maturity on his part, even if his words that Diego showed us haven't. While the harsh words have not gone unnoticed, they can certainly be buried in the past if one believes in forgiveness strongly enough. I used to think revenge and hate was the answer, but I suppose I've grown from that. Feelings like that won't solve anything. We all love this band and these boards and for the most part, eachother. It's about time we started showing it, in the right way.

 

I may be echoing a bunch of Jarrod's words (he said it perfectly), but forgiveness is key to family. We all do things we regret, but it's how we handle the situation afterwards that can change everything. Hopefully the next time someone wants to speak ill of the people on here, they think twice. Don't ever think you need to stand down and take it, and Diego is showing us that positive can come from negative. Like I said earlier, we deserve as much respect as anyone. But one of the people who said things has stepped forward and apologized. We've already made progress. Let's keep going forward.

[nemesis90]

wow people can write

well i guess people have a lot of expaining/expression to do.

[senshuk3n]

Clearly this has been a very disappointing series of events for PF, but as it has been mentioned before, I believe this is also the best time to begin healing. I don’t know if anyone else had felt this, but I did sense a building of tension even before any of this happened. Though it did not surprise me that it has all come out to the forefront now, I am still very disappointed with individuals whom have taken advantage of the trust and respect of the general users of PF. Opinions can change, however, and Brent’s sincerity regarding this has shown me the level of maturity I’ve come to expect.

 

While the fallout from this continues, it should not linger as long as we all continue to reconcile with each other. I know how easy it can be to judge someone, especially on a forum such as this, where you are behind a monitor and a keyboard, but everyone deserves respect, courtesy, and a chance to defend his or herself. Being opinionated and being disrespectful are two very different things. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I hope this situation serves to remind us to be mindful of what we say if we want to avoid things like this next time. (I would also like to note that it’s not explicitly stated to be respectful to each other in the forum rules. I would like to suggest that it be emphasized, if only as an obvious reminder.)

 

We have all come here united in our passion for music. I am still thankful to have been a part of it and I am excited for the future.

[FeRo]

Hey Brent;

 

 

I understand and completely take your apoligies, and thanks for coming clean about it. However, i still have to say that i was really dissapointed, especially because I always had your back over at AP.net, where we were both talking against bashing other people.

I felt really bad when i saw this, hence my conduct on the other thread, but hopefully everyone can build a stonger foundation from what happened here.

[thebrowncoat]

Thanks Lisa and Chris and FeRo (ack - I hate when I don't know someone's real name...sorry!)...that's really well said on all of your parts....

 

Thanks too for your forgiveness...it really means a lot and again, I'm sincerely sorry to everyone on here...I showed a lack of respect, really, to everyone...and you all deserved a lot better.

 

And yeah...I know that my behavior was a lot like the behavior I rail against on AP.net - it wasn't directed at the band, but at you guys - and in some ways, that's worse. And yeah...I could sit here and tell you it was isolated events or a really small # of posts and that I'm really not like that 99% of the time...but it really doesn't matter. Doing it even once is wrong. And I, of all people, should know better.

 

Now I just have to prove to all of you that that's not who I really am...and regain the trust I've lost. Thanks to anyone who gives me a second chance because you certainly don't owe it to me.

 

I hope more people feel like we can reconcile and start to rebuild...because we are all here for the same reason at the end of the day - a band and music that we love. I so hope we can get back to that...

[hayleh]

maaaaaaaan

[XMusicDudetteX]

And I waited long enough for this Hmm, shocking expose' (cheap accent mark).

Truly shocking. Very, very shocking. I am at a loss for words.

[HarlequinGerhl]

when i fist read these i was shocked

and actually disgusted

because in any case what was said is just spiteful and completely uncalled for, damn hypocritical as well

you said when diego leaked the video that all STAFF must follow the rules as well and isnt one of the main rules of any board, not just thins one, to treat everyone with respect?

and the things that were said are anything but.

 

having said this,

brent, im glad you have stood up and apologised and i do believe it was genuine, thank you for that

now i wish the others involved would do the same

[sophie]

when i fist read these i was shocked

and actually disgusted

because in any case what was said is just spiteful and completely uncalled for, damn hypocritical as well

you said when diego leaked the video that all STAFF must follow the rules as well and isnt one of the main rules of any board, not just thins one, to treat everyone with respect?

and the things that were said are anything but.

 

having said this,

brent, im glad you have stood up and apologised and i do believe it was genuine, thank you for that

now i wish the others involved would do the same

 

that was good wording Em.i agree with everything you said there.

 

seriously this whole thing is such a shame.this board used to be really fun and friendly place.i honestly thought it was one of the best message boards i'd ever been a member of.paramorefans is for paramore and at the moment it is not helping them in the slightest.this could just be me but i think the fans of a band really can have a impact on how much you like a band.

[SingMeASong]

I can't lie, so I will say I'm a bit disappointed just over the fact that you guys strive to be very nice, and it seems very hypocritical of you guys.

 

But... you can't expect the staff to be perfect in every way. Sometimes people feel the need to take it out on a particular person, because I sure have done it many of times. Just because their held a bit higher than our heads, doesn't make them perfect or expected to be.

 

This doesn't change how I feel about the staff because them saying stuff like that doesn't completely destroy their hard work. So, I still really like the staff, even if they have/will talked about me that I'm unaware of.

 

Gosh, I know that probably sounded really stupid. So I apologize.