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The Song/Poem/Writing Thread


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I occasionally write songs, although im not in a band or such, but its always to do with personal experiences. This one is about that friend you had when you were young and have lost them along the way.

 

 

"I Remember When"

 

We were just young kids,

In a small social town,

We would always misbehave,

and Everyone would frown

We would play in the park,

We would play near the lake,

But was this childhood we had,

Just completely fake?

 

I remember when you used to always call me,

I remember when we used to play,

I remember when we'd dream of flying,

I remember when when we used to say,

I remember (I remember)

I remember (I remember)

I remember (I remember)

I remember when

 

We would always laugh,

We would sometimes cry,

But we never thought we'd ever,

Say Goodbye,

And that time it came,

We never realised,

How important it was,

And our friendship had died.

 

I remember when you used to always call me,

I remember when we used to play,

I remember when we'd dream of flying,

I remember when when we used to say,

I remember (I remember)

I remember (I remember)

I remember (I remember)

I remember when

 

But now we've grown old,

We've gone our separate ways,

But sometimes i think,

Back to those careless days,

I wonder how your doing,

How your coping with school,

I've gone and i've lost you,

I was such a fool.

 

I remember when you used to always call me, ( I remember)

I remember when we used to play, (I remember)

I remember when we'd dream of flying, (I remember)

I remember when when we used to say,

I remember (I remember)

I remember (I remember)

I remember (I remember)

I remember...

 

I Remember you.

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i'm a really bad writer, but when i was going through this really hard time i would write poems to try to get my emotions out...this is the only one i remember. i think its bad...but here it is...

 

 

as i lay dieing

i think about my past, my mistakes

what went wrong?

could it have been fixed?

if this blade, my vein had not kissed?

would there be tearshed?

would there be pain?

are these my last thoughts as my blood drips away?

as the memory of my past just fades away?

as i lay dieing,

i just have to say

i'm sorry

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thanks for all the compliments on my last song ;-) this is about jumping too quickly into a relationship too young, because he's the only one who makes you feel safe even though you know he's not good for you.

 

scared to lose

every beat and every step

it's murder on the sidewalk simplified

but we play it so innocently

you can't dance and you never should

 

and we will,

pay upfront so that we,

will never have to witness this determined collapse

and i run waiting to be swept by caution

that he'll never, ever throw out

 

hypocrisy and dedication

you offer me nothing in return

so explain the lies you breathe

my heart you'll never break

you can't, you never could

 

and we will,

pay upfront so that we,

won't ever have to break this determined gaze

i'll cling to your safety

i will believe your conspiracy

you know i will stand, stand.

 

i'm not blinded

my pretty eyes can see

it's so hard to get out, when there's no way in

i will take you back to where you've been

 

and we will,

pay upfront so that we,

will never have to witness this determined collapse

plant a bomb, with those eyes, with your lies

i'd expect nothing else.

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by any means, continue writing and posting them !

talent ahoy.

 

read it through again, definite parallels with paramore songs- but i honestly don't care, i still love it.

 

just out of interest, could you point out the parallels? i started writing this a long time ago, and just finished it off recently (when i'd been listening to riot! constantly ;-)). have i subconciously written down paramore lyrics anywhere? ha i didn't even realize!

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thanks for all the compliments on my last song ;-) this is about jumping too quickly into a relationship too young, because he's the only one who makes you feel safe even though you know he's not good for you.

 

scared to lose

every beat and every step

it's murder on the sidewalk simplified

but we play it so innocently

you can't dance and you never should

 

and we will,

pay upfront so that we,

will never have to witness this determined collapse

and i run waiting to be swept by caution

that he'll never, ever throw out

 

hypocrisy and dedication

you offer me nothing in return

so explain the lies you breathe

my heart you'll never break

you can't, you never could

 

and we will,

pay upfront so that we,

won't ever have to break this determined gaze

i'll cling to your safety

i will believe your conspiracy

you know i will stand, stand.

 

i'm not blinded

my pretty eyes can see

it's so hard to get out, when there's no way in

i will take you back to where you've been

 

and we will,

pay upfront so that we,

will never have to witness this determined collapse

plant a bomb, with those eyes, with your lies

i'd expect nothing else.

 

*jaw drops again* God, you're such a good writer. *luffs it*

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wooo! new member (me) and new song....more to come...bahaha... alright... here it is...just so you all know, there is music, Im recording next month for it, and if you can't tell, it was for two people to sing. Usually I go solo, but I actually was listeneing to the songs "My Heart" and "Frankliin" when I wrote it and I knew that my friend scotty would feel bad if he didn't get a song wiff me, so here it is...

 

 

“Can You?” - Mariah Wester

 

[verse]

What happened to us now?

(We lost it somehow)

And What did we do wrong?

(We lied all along)

When the day comes to a close

(What will we do)

When the wanted become unknown

WE’LL HELP THEM THROUGH

 

[chorus]

We can’t go back now…

There’s no way…

{pause}

To make it through

(well)

When we know we’re not like that…

We’ll make it through

‘Cuz we refuse to walk away

(walk away)

 

[verse]

I know what I did

(With that heart that you hid)

From the world YOU kept it

(And now you refuse to bid)

ON THE LIFE WE ONCE KNEW

(And refused to go show)

We never quite fell through

THAT WHOLE IN THE FLOOR

 

[chorus]

 

[bridge] - gang vocals - x2

“ALL OF US

HERE ALONE

WANTING A PLACE

TO CALL OUR OWN

BRING US BACK

TO WHERE WE WERE

NEVER WILL IT QUITE BE OVER!”

 

[chorus] - guitars are muted

{pause}

{loud and fast again}

[chorus]

 

Walk away

Walk away

Walk away

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yups..haha...I have another one...well actually I have around 40 or so, but Ill record a video tomorrow if I can, so that you guys can hear..or I might just record me and bob (drummer) playing it at the studio next tuesday. I dont know yet..I might do both...haha

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thanks for all the compliments on my last song ;-) this is about jumping too quickly into a relationship too young, because he's the only one who makes you feel safe even though you know he's not good for you.

 

scared to lose

every beat and every step

it's murder on the sidewalk simplified

but we play it so innocently

you can't dance and you never should

 

etc.

 

Quite alot of the time i say i like something to be polite. But i honestly, genuinely and whole-heartedly adore what you write. :)

 

 

As for the parallel thing, i'll see if i can remember what i was thinking! I in no way mean to criticise any sense or originality in your writing, by the way, it's just something i picked up- perhaps i was thinking way too far into it as looking back, i can't remember half of what i was talking about!

 

a million girls would bend in two for you

to say their name - this bit reminds me of "Misery Business", perhaps?

 

now you've taped my lips,- crushcrushcrush ? not so much as

 

i refuse, i refuse, - Misery Business ?

 

Three lines can hardly back up what i said, perhaps it was just the general impression i got at that particular time from listening to too much paramore, aha !

 

so, basically, ignore me and write more ;)

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Quite alot of the time i say i like something to be polite. But i honestly, genuinely and whole-heartedly adore what you write. :)

 

 

As for the parallel thing, i'll see if i can remember what i was thinking! I in no way mean to criticise any sense or originality in your writing, by the way, it's just something i picked up- perhaps i was thinking way too far into it as looking back, i can't remember half of what i was talking about!

 

a million girls would bend in two for you

to say their name - this bit reminds me of "Misery Business", perhaps?

 

now you've taped my lips,- crushcrushcrush ? not so much as

 

i refuse, i refuse, - Misery Business ?

 

Three lines can hardly back up what i said, perhaps it was just the general impression i got at that particular time from listening to too much paramore, aha !

 

so, basically, ignore me and write more ;)

 

aw thank you! :mrgreen:

 

and haha i see what you mean actually but don't worry i wasn't offended at all.

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wooo! new member (me) and new song....more to come...bahaha... alright... here it is...just so you all know, there is music, Im recording next month for it, and if you can't tell, it was for two people to sing. Usually I go solo, but I actually was listeneing to the songs "My Heart" and "Frankliin" when I wrote it and I knew that my friend scotty would feel bad if he didn't get a song wiff me, so here it is...

 

 

“Can You?” - Mariah Wester

 

[verse]

What happened to us now?

(We lost it somehow)

And What did we do wrong?

(We lied all along)

When the day comes to a close

(What will we do)

When the wanted become unknown

WE’LL HELP THEM THROUGH

 

[chorus]

We can’t go back now…

There’s no way…

{pause}

To make it through

(well)

When we know we’re not like that…

We’ll make it through

‘Cuz we refuse to walk away

(walk away)

 

[verse]

I know what I did

(With that heart that you hid)

From the world YOU kept it

(And now you refuse to bid)

ON THE LIFE WE ONCE KNEW

(And refused to go show)

We never quite fell through

THAT WHOLE IN THE FLOOR

 

[chorus]

 

[bridge] - gang vocals - x2

“ALL OF US

HERE ALONE

WANTING A PLACE

TO CALL OUR OWN

BRING US BACK

TO WHERE WE WERE

NEVER WILL IT QUITE BE OVER!”

 

[chorus] - guitars are muted

{pause}

{loud and fast again}

[chorus]

 

Walk away

Walk away

Walk away

 

you're really, really good :)

 

when the wanted become unknown

we'll help them through

 

those lines just stuck in my head!

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i'm a really bad writer, but when i was going through this really hard time i would write poems to try to get my emotions out...this is the only one i remember. i think its bad...but here it is...

 

 

as i lay dieing

i think about my past, my mistakes

what went wrong?

could it have been fixed?

if this blade, my vein had not kissed?

would there be tearshed?

would there be pain?

are these my last thoughts as my blood drips away?

as the memory of my past just fades away?

as i lay dieing,

i just have to say

i'm sorry

 

i just re-read this.. and i love it :) it's pretty dark, which is why it's easy to look over at first glance, but reading it again i realised how beautifully you've portrayed everything.

 

could it have been fixed?

if this blade, my vein had not kissed

 

amazing.

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break, transcend, revenge

 

somewhere in this cold uncertainty

and harshest words unveiled

you stopped my hand in time

before i stopped myself

no words can heal the damage done

no prize can be won

without the power of your beat

but i'm doing fine

 

i can't stop listening

(bright lights and shattered walls)

your stare inside my mind

it's wearing thin

 

is that the best you can do

with your pride?

the cunning looks that caused you,

undignified, to break through

and scream through the first of

your nightmares

while we sleep with the last of

your time

 

i will come out on top

of every struggle fought

it's getting easier now, without

your useless control

you suggest nothing at all

that's worth a second look

we can do it alone

at least you knew we would

 

i can't stop listening

(bright lights and shadowed falls)

your stare inside my mind

it's wearing thin

 

is that the best you can do

with your pride?

the cunning looks that caused you,

undignified, to break through

and scream through the first of

your nightmares

while we sleep with the last of

your time

 

is that the best you can do

with your pride?

your opinion means so much more

to someone without their own dreams

and scream through the first of

your nightmares

while we sleep with the last of your time

 

we'll climb, oh it's fine.

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^Ha, if you can be bothered to flick back through this thread you can see my old stuff, if you can be bothered to trawl through it all. xD

 

Come with me to the top of the world

Where all our troubles melt away into the sky

Embrace the feeling, my dear, cause there's

No time for us to stay here much longer

Just cut your losses, let's fly away together

Let's show the world what they're missing out on...

 

veery nice ;-)

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^Well that song...everything else I'd put here was pretty downtrodden stuff, so I wanted something else that had a more optimistic feeling to it, cause let's face it, I wouldn't want to be accused of being an emo. :willy_nilly:

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this is the last from me for today :D this was quite difficult for me to write because (like hayley with misery business ;-)) it's very, very real to me. it's about a struggle i made with my faith and belief in God, in fact a struggle i am still working with today.. because i have very little trust left to give, and putting my heart into something which may not even be real terrifies me; yet i feel that God could provide the support i need.

 

i have seen summers rest in peace

earth swept beneath their feet

but can you help their pain?

if to your wishes, they refrain

i once stared up unto the sky

parted my lips and let it fly

a thousand griefs it held from each

that troubled dove could not reach

 

in time, i'll spit my heart out

for the cause

no cause for concern

no cause for concern

 

oh this is not the end

my spinning mind can't comprehend

lay down, lay your head on my shoulder

i will be older but you won't get colder

oh this is not the end

your honour they defend

lay down, lay your head on my shoulder

i will be older but you won't get colder

 

kiss my eyes and let me sleep

bathed in your soft sincereity

a wound to the heart is

more serious than this head rush says

to chant your every waking word

should be classed as absurd

but when you've got nothing else

purely the truth looks false

hand me the key to your voice

i remember the choice

 

in time, i'll spit my heart out

for the cause

no cause for concern

no cause for concern

 

oh this is not the end

my spinning mind can't comprehend

lay down, lay your head on my shoulder

i will be older but you won't get colder

oh this is not the end

your honour they defend

lay down, lay your head on my shoulder

i will be older but you won't get colder

 

sometimes we have to know

that he will never go

not when he's blessed this mess

and set the world so you confess

 

oh this is not the end

my spinning mind can't comprehend

lay down, lay your head on my shoulder

i will be older but you won't get colder

oh this is not the end

your honour they defend

lay down, lay your head on my shoulder

i will be older but you won't get colder

 

oh this is not the end

your honour they defend

lay down, lay your head on my shoulder

i will be older but you won't get colder

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