“What a year. And it’s only March.
I’m trying to understand how it could be that 3 years have gone by since we wrote and recorded the Self-Titled album. How is it that we are near the end of our time with this album? I remember at the beginning of 2006, some of our team started to ask what we were thinking about the next album and if we’d begun writing what would later become “RIOT!”. I’ll never forget that conversation and how sad it made me. Things had only begun to heat up for us with “AWKIF” and I was feeling like it still had a ton of life in it. We were on Warped Tour that summer and when the tickets for our first headlining tour went on sale, I could feel myself becoming more and more satisfied with the life that we gave our 1st album. We gave that album what it deserved, with a pretty-much sold out tour, after it gave us what would become the foundation for our entire career.
Today, I felt the sadness again. This time for our 4th album. I listened to some of the songs in the car while driving on the interstate… which is the best place to listen to your own album because you don’t have to stop at the red lights and feel like people can tell that you’re listening to yourself. I listened to some of the songs we haven’t played, some that we have… and I just felt like I wasn’t ready to let go. It’s really true that this album was our favorite yet. It’s really true that we became the band we always hoped we would be. I think I sorta knew it was in us all along but I’m one of those people who doesn’t always do a good job of putting those feelings into words. I’m better at putting those feelings into lyrics. You’d think lyrics and words are one in the same… nope! The fact that we get to do another run of shows for the S/T cycle is totally saving me right now… Keeping me from feeling a ton of regret. It’s keeping me excited. There’s still some life left in it and I’d feel that forever if we didn’t get a chance to let it out. I’m so ready forWriting The Future.
At one point during the drive, I must’ve accidentally hit “Shuffle” because “Whoa” came on, haha! It was the suckerpunch of nostalgia that I definitely didn’t need anymore of today. But it didn’t make me sad, it made me so proud and so happy. It reminded me that at one point, I thought I could never do better than that album… and then the guys and I went on to write 3 other ones that made me more and more proud with each one. That’s the feeling that keeps me hopeful and inspired. Even though it’s a little bit sad to have to leave some parts of your life behind you, it’s crucial. There’s more to do. You’re needed in the future, where a newer, stronger version of you is waiting. Ugh, I have no idea what is next for Paramore but I can’t wait to find out.
In other, less musical news, I’ve had enough free time since Monumentour to work on a couple of other projects. One being an entire business that I’m starting from the ground up. My own hair dye line. I really wanted it to already be a thing by now… but DAMN did I underestimate the workload. You may not believe me when I tell you this but I have been working towards my own hair dye company for the better part of 4 years. It started around the time that Jeremy, Taylor, and I went to visit Bamboozle that one year we didn’t play. I think it was 2011. Here we are at the beginning of 2015 and I can actually say that it’s becoming reality. As in, it’s being made. It’s happening! As soon as I know with 100% certainty that it’s okay to talk about publicly in detail, then you can bet I’ll be screaming it from the top of internet mountain. I cannot wait to bring people into this… I’m learning so much and I’m excited to hopefully share what I learn with people so that they can take the art of self-expression into their very own hands, with confidence! It’s gonna be fun.
The 2nd thing I’ve been working on was just announced last week, although it would’ve been easy to miss if you weren’t glued to the computer, or the Twitter, as I am pretty much daily. I’m going to be hosting an internet show about beauty looks and makeup and personal inspiration. The show is called Kiss-Off and it’s part of the new online zine/community called Popular that my friend Marvin Scott Jarrett, who co-founded Nylon Magazine (MAYBE YOU’VE HEARD OF IT), just launched. It’s a little bit unbelievable that I bumped into him while grocery shopping in LA last summer and not even a year later I get to be a part of his new project. I’m super excited about it. You’re really going to see how much of a nerd I am… and hopefully you’ll get to see how widespread my influences and inspirations are. The show is NOT a show about “how to get pretty” or “this is how you should look!”. It’s really about encouraging people, especially young people, that perfection is not what makes beauty. Getting to know yourself through your inspirations, painting your personality across your face, and enjoying the process of self-expression… that’s what is beautiful. The best part is, I get to bring Brian O’Connor (my best friend of about 10 years/the boy wonder who makes me look alive on the road & in videos) along for the ride. We shot a few episodes already and I’m sure we’ll shoot some more once we’re on the road. Hopefully, you won’t think we are complete losers. You probably will. Oh well.
Geez. Did I leave anything out? I didn’t talk much about wedding planning did I? Haha, when I say life is crazy at the moment… I mean, life is CUHHH-RAAAAZY. But it’s all the good kind of crazy. I’m pinching myself in between pulling my faded and frizzy orange hair out. It’s amazing. Okay. The longest blog of my life. I really owed some of you guys though. It’s always a long time between personal updates and I’m always getting asked to write these. I might’ve lost my touch. Teenage Hayley was insane on Xanga and LiveJournal… older me is all 140-characters lazy. Anyway, I did my best! Thanks for reading, caring, supporting.
Taylor, Jeremy, and I are forever grateful for this big crazy family we have found in all of you and we can’t wait to party in April & May. Happy Spring!