Hard decisions

It’s so tough trying to pick what lyrics from what song to share with you guys next. I can’t tell if it’s more of a tease for you or for me. It might seem like a well though-out plan, all these “strategically” posted blog updates… but seriously… I’m sitting around in my sweatpants, a little bit bored (and thankful for it!), with a face mask on (God forbid my skin NOT freak out after all those plane rides!), trying to make the time between now and April 9th (4th album!) magically disappear. I’m thinking about doing jump rope for 20 minutes when I’m done with this post just to make myself feel like I was a little bit productive today. Needless to say, these blogs have served as a nice placeholder for me. They’ve quelled my anxiety, or at least kept it at bay. Look, I just really want you guys to hear the album!!

Here’s the thing, life at home with all this comfort and time to spare is really not what I consider to be “normal life”. For me, normal is a day sheet being shoved under a hotel room door with a detailed outline of how the following 24 hours is going to play out. Normal is waking up in a different bed, a different city, peeing in a toilet on a plane at an altitude of 30,000 ft in the sky… over all of you… think about that. Don’t think about that. All I’m saying is, for the three of us, life is usually moving so fast that when we stop for a few moments it’s like the worst case of whiplash you’ve ever experienced.

My first real dose of reality came when the guys and I were moving out the Los Angeles to make the album. I flew out a few weeks earlier just to feel some kind of movement and get my head in a new space. Then after getting exactly what I wanted, I spent the next few weeks throwing silent tantrums… just wishing for a little familiarity or comfort that reminded me of home. Isn’t that how it always goes?! The grass is just always greener, I suppose. We’re wanting summer when it’s winter, winter when it’s not… but sometimes what we really need is just to struggle and strain and feel the growing pains.

And somehow, through all this rambling, I’ve decided to share some lyrics from the new album that have to do with this very subject matter. “Ain’t It Fun” has everything to do with accepting at some point in your life that the world is not your very own Truman Show. The people who walk passed you on the street aren’t extras in your movie. This is the real world. This is where everyone’s looking out for him or herself… and just trying to get through each day and say they did alright! To make it clear, this song is a letter to myself! We all need a kick in the ass sometimes. Since, I had no one around me to tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself, I had to figure out a way to do it on my own. If you haven’t figured out how to do that quite yet then maybe you’ll get the butt-kicking you need from “Ain’t It Fun”.

Ps, this is one of the songs that I’m most excited for everyone to hear Taylor and Jeremy’s parts for. The music is completely nuts. So many parts and layers and melodies. For anyone who’s every been interested in hearing mine and Jeremy’s old funk covers band, this isn’t too far off.

“So what are you gonna do when the world don’t orbit around you?

Ain’t it fun living in the real world?
Ain’t it good being all alone?
Ain’t it good to be on your own, ain’t it fun you can’t count on no one…
Ain’t it fun?
Living in the real world.”