MarMaramore
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Posts posted by MarMaramore
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hmm.
well, i wouldn't spend too much time trying to convince anyone what you are.
just let it be,
and when the time comes, elaborate.
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literally, it's been about a year since i checked in here.
thought i'd throw this in there.
those of you who know me, know i'm a pretty good advice giver, or just someone good to talk to.
those of you who don't, feel free to message me or email me if you need someone to talk to you.
stuff can get tough, so i understand.
i don't login much, but i'll try to get on more.
anyways, PM or email.
here's my email:
mariah.wester@gmail.com
keep the heads up, and the rainbows arched!
<3
-mariah.
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i hate when i haven't been to a site like this in almost a year, and when i login, i know it's my fault that i have no idea what's going on.
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Yeah I can't deal with people spending lots of money on me either
But we won't be able to see each other that much
Every 3 week or so, cause she's gonna be working alot and I'd have to come down to her when she has a day off!
Also - either way I think I'm gonna have to tell mum
I'd need to explain why I'm staying - cause sineads paying
Or the reason I'm gonna be so miserable and going to Dublin at every possible chance - cause I miss Sinead
I'm scared LOL
Best of luck my love!
hopefully, it goes well.
i'm guessing you and sinead are still hangin-n-bangin>?
that wasn't sexual until just NOW/.
anyways,
tons of love,
marmar.
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ffwd to 3:24
"HETEROSEXUALS LIKE ICE!"
...
"I THINK WHAT YOU'RE SENSING IS A VERY VERY STRONG I LIKE MEN VIBE"
there's my bit of gay for the month. love you guys and miss those of you who i know...
tons of love,
-mlw.
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I've written a couple lately. but nowhere near as great as you guys' work.
I don't really feel like putting up where breaks and verses go etc. sorry.
"Jessica"
i'm in between whether i'm in between, and where i lie, i'm lost for dreams,
no escape, i can't break free, of things that make
me, me. broken i lay, slowing down, i'm tearing down what's left of days,
and i've been so lost without, something sweet to smile
please talk to me, please, i need to know what's wrong with me?
please talk to me, please, i need to know what i need to be?
it seems to me...
that i just don't know what to do...
and i never know the right words to say
to keep you by me...
when the day is over and i haven't spoken a word
it feels like i just can't go on without you ruling my world
and the times we close the curtain, hoping for tomorrow
to be the greatest feeling in the world...
these airwaves, just don't seem to be
good for you or good for me unless we're alone in person
it's been so long since i've felt anything near this love
and it's just something i haven't had in a while...
it's going to be, something hard for you
and something hard for me
but hopefully i can be yours, i'd be happy if you'd...
"An Eye, Another Exercise"
caged in my own thoughts
i find that you keep breaking my heart
and i'm drowning in guilt
at how i let you break down my walls
it seems that you just don't understand
that i have a heart and you hold it in those hands
and it's like you just don't care
that i need you here, and i need you by me
maybe i'm not serious enough because
it's like i'm crushing my own heart
maybe i don't know what you want
don't you feel like you can talk to me?
maybe it's all in the way
that i say that i need you and i'm still crying without you
maybe it's just all my fault
that i let you pull me in and push me right out
"Drowning"
i sit and i find
that everything i've ever worked for
was just another way out
and another thing to look forward for
i'm drowning myself
in perverted thoughts i can't help
it seems to me
i'm not worth anything
and i work so damn hard
towards this "nothing"
i would love to bring me
back to where this started
i'm scared that
i was just hiding
from myself
i'm afraid of everything
it seems that i don't know what you're thinking
"Like 2009"
Good morning,
Good morning
I'm screaming
"How are you?"
It's cold out,
It's cold out
I've shivered
Too long now
I'm wondering
I'll wonder
What I'll say
What you'll say
We're quiet
We're awkward
Like 2009
I'd rather take my own time
And bring us back to then
To when the honesty was fluid
And these times were just a matter of
How?
"Are You Nervous?"
do i ever say the right things?
or am i still just talking to myself?
at this world's end
I'll hopefully still be holding your hand
and you've got nothing to say
and it seems like you're just using me
if i could read you, like you know me
i'm guessing i'd find another version of me
you make me jealous, like i have never been
when i'm invisible, it seems i don't exist
i'm so so so so sorry, i can't be perfect
but i need you with me and i don't know how else to say it...
you second guess me like you second guess your wardrobe
you ask me if the end is something good for us both
i'm so so so so sorry, that i'm not worth it
but i need to be in your arms somehow, or i'll never give up
***this one is really really long and slow... i hate it, but love it. eh...
"Under Oceans"
i swear, this life is like an ocean. it's all smooth sailing until you reach the dark parts. it gets a little choppy
and then you hit the big waves. sometimes, you lose a man at sea, and sometimes, they jump. i don't understand how the tides work
yet, but i do know this: life is an ocean just waiting to toss you around and flip you upside down. but i always want you to know,
if you ever fall overboard or feel like jumping, i will always be your raft. always.
and i guess i just dont know how to say it
but you're just so sticky sweet and i don't know how you don't see it.
you're the only reason for the smile on my face
and the beat of my heart loses count when you're out of trace...
when i fall, i fall hard and i'm scared of the dark
if i dig, i know that i'll find more than i bargained for, sadly
in my mind, i'm scared, in my room, i'm scared, in your arms, i'm scared.
i've done more than one can imagine to damage myself and i'm so close
to isolation, in these feelings of guilt.
i'm hanging on the edge of safe and forever and either way i know
i can't keep smiling forever, when the day's over, i find that darkness is friend,
if i weren't so scared of what it held...
once i knew you as "comfort", and a few times even "love"
then you pull the rug out from under me and tell me i don't make you happy
you tell me you don't make me happy...
assuming that you loved me once, assuming maybe twice
you dont really understand exactly how much i rely on you. for hope and comfort and love and things in between.
i really dont know how it happened, but for a second i was starting to believe you looked at me that way too. i mean, i know that
i'm not a dream. i dont know how i could be. i understand that. i just dont get how i got to be with someone
so amazing and let myself believe that they cared as much as i did
and let them hurt me more than anyone ever has.
i asked little of you. "just love me and be honest if you don't"
and i hope to some high power out there that maybe, just maybe, i might be over you soon.
you broke my heart, i don't think that needs to be explained,
but it's broken. i had hoped that the clothespins i used to hold my heart together were working,
they did, and for the briefest moment i felt loved.
i don't understand you, or what you want...
i guess i'm just meant to be...
lost?
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well, you all got much better looking. haha. kidding. you've been nice looking for a while now.
I've already changed again. how crazy. well, due to my mother's want to scare me out of my supergayness, she decided to cut my hair. my best friend's little foster brother asked the other day "who dis new boy you hang over wiff?"
I am no boy, nor am i new. but i do look like one.
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Dear Katie's Knee.
Stop hurting katie!
**Meanface!**
That's right!
-marra.
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I confess that i'm a very bad forum member!
i'm sorry!
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I wish i logged in more often because i miss everyone!
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Dear Jessica O.
i swear, this life is like an ocean. it's all smooth sailing until you reach the dark parts. it gets a little choppy
and then you hit the big waves. sometimes, you lose a man at sea, and sometimes, they jump. i don't understand how the tides work
yet, but i do know this: life is an ocean just waiting to toss you around and flip you upside down. but i always want you to know,
if you ever fall overboard or feel like jumping, i will always be your raft. always.
<3
your marra.
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holy gayness, batman!
i haven't been here in forever.
i just thought i'd come in and say hi.
hi everyone.
i miss you guys... and gals especially.
hehe.
anyways,
to keep things on topic, i'm still gay, have a girlfriend who is f*cking AMAZING and makes me smile more than anything in the world, andddd i'm listening to some really gay music right now painting art for a gay art thing.
gaygaygay. just thought i'd let you know.... GAY.
anyways, i miss you folk,
-mariah
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i'm now in need of a pfgf
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haha.
only like..
633.
XD
for how long i've been here, I am lacking!
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4
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the other day...
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hey gays!
haha.
well, i've a new lady friend type person.
her name is hannah.
not really a NEW crush, but a newly admitted one.
XD
I told about a month ago on our trip to Ashland that i liked her and she was like "I'M LIKE IN LOVE WITH YOU!"
it was cute as hell.
anyways...
KATIE!
I have friends that need lady friends, unfortunately, you live all the way over there.
maybe I'll make them teleport to you.
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haha.
i said i HAVE sent them.
i haven't drank in months.
i'm trying this whole "sober" thing...
since me and sierra started dating *in June* and even after we broke up, i haven't drank.
i mean, my mum will give me a shot once in a while, otherwise, nothing.
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haha.
"aosdife... theweds somethginaoe i nede ot letl yuo...youire a girr;l"
ahaha.
just kidding.
i sent something like that to my friend once. did not go well.
XD
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yes.
oh, and for the topic that we're in.
Still gay.
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*sheer excitement and happy joyness*
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^badass!
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^did you like it?!?!?!?!??!!
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when did we get into HIV?
Oh. My. Science.
I missed you all.
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hello pretty people!
I'm back with a vengeance!
Here's what i've turned into as long as i've been gone!
I'll do a timeline.
Since I've joined, I've done this...
NOW:
GAH!
I hate my new hair.
I look like a boy!
Your Sexuality? - Part 2
in Everything Else
Posted
i think we can all pretty much adopt the phrase "hearts, not parts"