closesttoheaven Posted July 28, 2008 Report Share Posted July 28, 2008 so once again i got myself into a bad situation. i was talking to this guy last night. and he asked if i could write a song for him. and i told him i'd only write him a song if he wrote one for me and i was SO sure he was gonna say no.. but he said yes. and well i posted my first song in the writing thread and as you can see... i really need some help. he knows i'm really into music and he thinks i know how to write really good. i didn't want to tell him i can't write him a song anymore cause, well this guy gets depressed after every word you tell him and i didn't want to hurt him. i know this forum is filled with great people and amazing writers and you'd be the most amazing person in this universe if you could help me write this song. please. i really don't want to disappoint him because he knows that i won't. here's the story for the song... this guy and this girl talk to each other on the phone and online.. but have never met and live very far apart. the guy tells the girls he's in love with her. but the girl doesn't see it. she doesn't understand how he would fall in love with someone without even seeing her face. she only wants to be great friends with him, but she's scared to tell him cause she doesn't want him hurt... she doesn't know if what he says is what he really means. and she really wants to know... she wishes she would get to know the guy much better and more about him because she quite doesn't feel she knows him well enough. and maybe one day she might fall for him. but in the song, the girl just wants to let him know that he's a great person and one day meet and just be the best of friends as long as forever is. just do everything together. she wants him to know that he doesn't know this, but he does hurt her when he says he loves her and she sees it even though he thinks she doesn't. and she can't do much about it, even though she wishes she could. in this song, i don't want him to really see what i'm trying to say. kinda of a mystery song, you know? if that's possible.. i was thinking last night till 5:00 am about how i should write this but i got no where. but please if you guys could help you'd be really amazing. please please. and thank you so much... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarMaramore Posted July 28, 2008 Report Share Posted July 28, 2008 here's what I could come up with. hope it helps. = ) This is all I have, so go easy on me. You stare away like you know what you need Like I know what you need, but you keep, coming to me You haven't been exposed to me, this way, that's okay Please don't hang up, please don't fade away I'd know your grin, I'd know your cry I'd know everything I can remember, without any try We've had it all, to ourselves we keep, (we) Keep on dreaming for new words to photograph, (but) Even though I've got the bite and, you've got the itch, (we) Try so hard and it just seems to fit, (you) Just keep talking, but it's all plans I'm plenty glad to listen, but I have no idea what who you are, (with your) "I'd say 'I do'" attitude, you just Keep to yourself and you, keep with all these adjustments I've never, had plans when you were'nt around And I never know what words to say when you're, around, (you know) We've had it all, to ourselves we keep, (we) Don't have to try too hard, for words or photographs, (and) Even though you've got the bite, now I've got the itch, (we) Just keep on dreaming and it just seems to fit You don't see what I see in you You keep on looking how to find a way to love you I don't want to break you, so soft and fragile But you keep coming back for an answer And I just have no idea what to tell you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
closesttoheaven Posted July 28, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2008 here's what I could come up with.hope it helps. = ) This is all I have, so go easy on me. You stare away like you know what you need Like I know what you need, but you keep, coming to me You haven't been exposed to me, this way, that's okay Please don't hang up, please don't fade away I'd know your grin, I'd know your cry I'd know everything I can remember, without any try We've had it all, to ourselves we keep, (we) Keep on dreaming for new words to photograph, (but) Even though I've got the bite and, you've got the itch, (we) Try so hard and it just seems to fit, (you) Just keep talking, but it's all plans I'm plenty glad to listen, but I have no idea what who you are, (with your) "I'd say 'I do'" attitude, you just Keep to yourself and you, keep with all these adjustments I've never, had plans when you were'nt around And I never know what words to say when you're, around, (you know) We've had it all, to ourselves we keep, (we) Don't have to try too hard, for words or photographs, (and) Even though you've got the bite, now I've got the itch, (we) Just keep on dreaming and it just seems to fit You don't see what I see in you You keep on looking how to find a way to love you I don't want to break you, so soft and fragile But you keep coming back for an answer And I just have no idea what to tell you. mann... you are amazing. i love this. you rock, thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
closesttoheaven Posted July 28, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2008 i hope you don't mind. i kinda seperated sentes and chnged a few things. do you think it makes sense the way i wrote it? You stare away like you know what you need Like I know what you need But you keep coming to me You haven't been exposed to me this way But that's okay Please don't hang up Please don't fade away I'd know your grin I'd know your cry I'd know everything I can remember Without any try We've had it all To ourselves we keep Keep on dreaming For new words to photograph Even though I've got the bite You've got the itch Try so hard and it just seems to fit Just keep talking It's all plans I'm plenty glad to listen But I have no idea what or who you are I'd say "I do" attitude and you just Keep to yourself and you Keep with all these adjustments I've never had plans when you weren't around We've had it all To ourselves we keep Don't have to try too hard For words or photographs Even though you've got the bite Now I've got the itch Just keep on dreaming And it just seems to fit You don't see what I see in you You keep on looking how to find a way to love you I don't want to break you So soft so fragile But you keep coming back for an answer And I just have no idea what to tell you -------------------------------------------------------- i tried to write a little something.. tell me on what you guys think please If one day we could cross our borders Watch our old memories Fade to black Start something real And play our special song I know it We'd sound amazing (amazing) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
closesttoheaven Posted July 28, 2008 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2008 bump Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarMaramore Posted July 29, 2008 Report Share Posted July 29, 2008 haha I actually like the way you re-arranged it. sounds good with the guitar I had for it. but I might not use it ever, if you want it. I just wrote it to write, but I wasn't really planning on recording it really. but one request I do have, is that if you ever do record it or anything, just at least give me some of the writing credit, because where I am right now, I sort of need all the credits I can get that I've earned so far. and if you need help with the music for it, I can help with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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