x-Decoy

nahh have you ever judged someone before you actually knew them?

i was supposed to be studying psychology, but i dropped out last week because of the politics part of the course.. too repetative to the modern studies course i just did..

no i don't think so.. have you ever dreaded seeing someone again?

yesss have you ever used someone?

^ just on occasion? yeah i guess it is. thats why i dont think ill ever tell him how i feel/felt properly, because he doesnt know how it feels and wouldnt understand. its hard.. ill get through it.

yeah have you ever lied about something you really shouldnt have?

yeah. thanks for listening to me.. it actually helped i think im weird for feeling like this until people say they have been through it too.

yeah have you ever blamed someone else for something you did?

no he's not worth it. but i cant help how i feel about it i actually wish he knew how i felt, just for a minute, so if he came back to me i could say no.

yeah have you ever wished you could go back in time and do things differently?

yeah he is exactly that. i wish he wasnt though. it seems he doesnt care who he is dating, as long as he has the "in a relationship" status. i do that, i just wish it didnt take this long to get over it. he has no idea..

yes, happens often. have you ever treated someone badly?

yup. except we weren't dating, we didnt break up, we just stopped talking. its a really confusing situtation. we were actually talking properly a few weeks ago, but only online, but it felt good to actually be friends again, but we never speak about what happened, and i want to, just because i want him to know how much he hurt me, even though its something so small, ive made it so big. i am hugely paranoid over it, which doesnt help. so really i have nothing to "get over" except my massive feelings for him, and the fact he fucked around with my mind, and moved straight on to someone else.. and someone else.. and someone else.

i love that photo <3

yeah.. i have a weakness for buying massive cuddly toys have you ever said something you didn't mean, and feel massively bad for it still?

yeah. thats what i gotta do. the thing is i actually want to show him i can move on from it and that i dont need him. he so full of himself tbh.. but i cant really use that against him, i fell for him.

i dont have someone else.. i think that could be why im still so wrapped up in this. but i can see him coming back to me if he's single any time soon, but i dont want to go back there because ill get hurt again, and he moves on so quickly, he wouldnt care.

no your probably right. i dont need him, when i think about it hard sometimes i think maybe i dont even want him. i dont even know what i want. but i think about him/ the situation constantly, and its been like 4 months. i find it so hard to let go when i fall for someone this hard, and i wish i could just scream this all at him.

i just read Lara's conversation with Zac so im going to have my own rant..

Lara if you want to talk i can send you my msn address or something? i know exactly how you feel.. i would rant about it on here but i don't know how to put it into words... right exam results finally. i got 3 C's and a B. the b- great. but 3 c's? im actually embarrased to tell people thats all i got, and i worked so damn hard to get good grades. what a waste of time.

both? soo lucky, i was only allowed to go to one avril was amazing! i went on the 27th. i didn't meet her though but the concert was incredible. shame she didnt sing wyg or innocence though..

cool i was in glasgow in may to see avril lavigne. i never got to see paramore when they played in glasgow but the videos on youtube were awesome. did you go?

^ about an hour outside of inverness.. in the middle of nowhere really xD

yeah i live in scotland oh your from glasgow. i was born there, i love it! i moved to the north of scotland a few years ago.

i know! i can't believe that. i hope shes alright, thats sad.