Crush3x Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 In the San Francisco Chronicle, there was this thing that said "Holiday celebri-letters" It's not really from them, but the people who wrote it made it seem like it was really them. I found it kinda of funny. Heres the one from "Robert Pattinson" and "Axl Rose" Rob: Dear ones, I've enclosed a photograph so you can revel in the deepness of my fine British features as you read this letter. Some believe I'm too good-looking to be human, thanks to my role as the paradoxically compassionate and sexy vampire Edward Cullen in the hit film "Twilight". Oh its been a ravishing year, indeed. The past year has made it impossible to go to malls, what with teen girls practically crashing through store windows to get to me. On the other hand, my new trendy hairstyle and pale white flesh definently seperate me from my peers. Unlike mortal actors, who get less sexy the longer they don't shower or leave their home, I only get hotter and hotter the longer I go without fresh air and soap. Am I human?? Am I from the demonic netherworld? Or am I a benevolently mysterious, yet sexy and sensitive creature, who waited for too long to gaze into the soul of someone like you? Only you can decide. My deepest love, -Robert Axl: You stupid @$ You dared to question me, Axl Rose, the genious behind Guns N' Roses. So I spent 15 years fashioning "Chinese Democracy," the greates record in the history of rock n' roll. My $#@*% spirit guide and the ghost of Jim Morrison endorsed the idea. Only I had the brilliant vision to replace my guitarist, $#%@*% Slash, with a guy who wears a KFC bucket on his head. He $#!%&* shreds. And he gets discounts on extra-crispy. Im not actually sure whos in the band right now, but that doesnt matter, though im pretty sure one guy has a beard. Whatever. All that matters is that my corn rows are straight, and the &%$#@ world has seen my record with the title make a statment about somthing thats so brilliant, I dont even understand it. And that Best Buy paid a tremendous amount of upfront money to exclusivley sell a CD that, to be honest, isnt much better than %$@*& Ugly Kid Joe in their prime. But I can still do that squealie scream thing. Thanks, now ^$%# off and go buy my record. Because it may be another 15 before you see another one, you stupid #$%*^@! -Axl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
777 Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 hahah the axl one is way out of character. But it's funny and if he was mad rock n rollish(Huh!?) he would do something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sanguis Dominus Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 I 'unno, it seemed pretty accurate. But then you seem pretty obsessed with G'n'R, so I'ma take y'word for it. Was funny as, either way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 Haha, its funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 Has Axl sued the San Francisco Chronicle yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
777 Posted December 18, 2008 Report Share Posted December 18, 2008 lol, Nope...Not "yet"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchthesky Posted December 19, 2008 Report Share Posted December 19, 2008 hahaha oh dear rob would never say anything like that made me laugh though, i suppose thats what its for Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crush3x Posted December 19, 2008 Author Report Share Posted December 19, 2008 Haha yeah, theres an Oprah one and a Sarah Palin one too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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