Myheartisurs

Tea

I wish things were different

I confess I hate this, she may be one of my best friends, but she made me lose the only person I really, truly trusted.

I confess Gavin is doing my head in, arghhhhh D:

Thanks and I shall I soo can't wait xD

I'm on my way to paramore gig in mnchester xD

My heart is shattered, my face hot, sticky, tears trickle down it, as I stare down at my feet. The pieces glisten as the light cascades down on them, now it's too broken beyond repair. The day you got sick it started to crack, every time you got worse, it would fissure and and split. I remember what it used to be like before, before you got sick, gave up, before you lost all hope in yourself and all those around you. How I'd wish for you to stop and realize, but you never did! And where are you now? You've left me all alone, you said I was the strongest, the fighter, the one who had to be there for everyone else. But what about me? Who is here for me? You didn't think about that?

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

why? oh why? :'(

some of my favorite things: music love my laptop money snapple chocolate rain/thunderstorms fall the small/simple things in life good people photography spontaneity freeing my mind laughing creating cruisin' shopping roxy my bed my best friend my guy friends my siblings time to myself going in the hot tub at night feeling cozy sweatpants cinnamon buns roller coasters quotes making scrapbooks & collages making someone smile bands i enjoy listening to: all time low mgmt flipsyde augustana lifehouse sublime rebelution city and colour saosin mayday parade silverstein the maine the offspring blink 182 breathe carolina the fray underoath shows i like watching: law and order svu csi ny south park family guy diners, drive-ins & dives food network cooks jackass viva la bam one tree hill teen cribs worlds strictest parents scrubs fresh prince of bel air boy meets world some of my favorite movies: requiem for a dream juno big daddy billy madison the longest yard ever after the goonies remember the titans ten things i hate about you the girl next door disturbia crazy/beautiful the parent trap the pursuit of happiness seven pounds men in black grease transformers final destination dazed and confused cruel intentions scream home alone don't tell mom the babysitter's dead the breakfast club stand by me websites i go on pretty often: xanga facebook yahoo flickr google weather.com tumblr weheartit imdb blurty myxer twitter youtube playlist.com last.fm what i dislike: arrogance ignorance close-mindedness not knowing what to say chaos school people who whine/brag/complain liars my father not being able to get comfortable feeling bloated people who are rude/inconsiderate humidity being judged feeling empty being away from home for too long having no money soda nerves public speaking closed spaces spiders awkward silences when they run out of the thing(s) you want grape and cherry flavored things gossip bad service blind dates being taken advantage of

» DECODE [x] You can decide for yourself. [ ] You have a lot of pride in you. [x] You are a good liar. [x] People can`t decode your thoughts. [x] You have a close friend that changed his/her attitude. [x] You are good at keeping secrets. Total: 5 » MISERY BUSINESS [x] You have a body like an hourglass. [x] You hate someone because he/she likes who you like. ( i did and im not proud of it) [ ] You smile a lot. [ ] You don`t like bragging. [ ] You think people will never change. (Ex. Once a liar, always a liar.) [x] You have many dreams in life. Total: 3 » CRUSHCRUSHCRUSH [x] You've seen someone check you out. [x] You hate liars. (it depends what kind of lies i guess) [x] An evening alone with the person you like is enough to make you happy. [ ] You write songs. [x] You keep having dreams with your crush in it. [x] You like rock n' roll. Total: 5 » THAT`S WHAT YOU GET [x] You hate being blamed. [x] You tend to drown out your sense. [x] You like silly things. [ ] It`s hard for you to learn new things. [x] You like hurting people. (Even if it`s your way of joking around, that counts.) [x] You like winning fights. (Verbal, physical, any type of fight.) Total: 5 » PRESSURE [ ] You always spend your time wisely. [ ] You are scared of failure. [x] You get nervous easily. [ ] If you don`t understand something, you`ll give up on it. [x] You like being alone once in a while. [x] You have had trouble sleeping. Total: 3 » EMERGENCY [x] You are a good listener. [ ] You watch TV a lot. [x] You feel guilty easily. [x] You cry a lot. [x] You know what love is. ( i hope this feeling is love, but i tbh who really knows what love is) [x] You`ll hold on to the person you love forever. Total: 5 I am: Emergency,, that's what you get, crushcrushcrush and decode. 01. I am perfectly content to sit by myself for hours listening to the same songs over and over again. 02. I'm a loud obnoxious son of a bitch. 03. I would love to do country line dancing. 04. I don't really care about...anything. 05. I can completely lose myself in a song. 06. Driving aimlessly while blasting music is therapeutic. 05. I love fall. 06. I hate turtleneck sweaters with a passion. 07. My friends mean the world to me. 08. I also hate when people TypE LyKe D1s. 09. I only get 3-4 hours of sleep a night 10. I believe that even if they work, long distance relationships still suck. 11. Fuck computers. 12. I don't like people. 13. I like shopping for underwear. 14. I don't like studying. 15. After high school I'm going to Law school. 16. Sometimes I feel like passing out in the middle of the floor for no reason. 17. I want to go to europe. 18. I have a lot to learn. 19. I'm vegetarian. 20. I sometimes like to watch the rain and think. 21. I like pop music. 22. Johnny Depp is really hot. 23. Groups of the same kind of people make me sick. 24. I can type rather fast. 25. I wish I could sleep better. 26. I wish love was like a movie. 27. I'm not a huge fan of the holidays. 28. Irish people make me sick after reading "angelas ashes". 29. I want to win the lottery one day. 30. I like the Starting Line. 31. I trust people way too easily. 32. I don't have a job. 33. I don't like a lot of people. 34. I say fuck to charities. 35. I know a lot of people, but only have a few close friends. 36. I'm easy to get along with. 37. I'm a very aggressive person. 38. I like having "beauty nights" with my friends. 39. I need to find something I'm talented in and stick to it. 40. I'm very insecure, even though I don't show it. 42. I never want to live in Australia. 43. I'm too aggressive. 44. I love flavored lipgloss. 45. Sometimes words can actually hurt me more than sticks and stones. 46. The movie Honey makes me sick. 47. I like holding hands more than anything. 48. I have no life. 49. Sometimes, I like spending time alone. 53. I love to find money in my coat pockets. 54. In the winter i never want to leave my house. 55. I wish I was good with directions. 56. I'm pretty good with forgetting about things. 57. I like to read childrens stories. 58. I dye/cut my hair way too much. 59. Emotional neediness scares the crap out of me 60. Hearing people say they miss me, when I thought they didn't care, makes me smile. 61. I sometimes wish I was black. 62. One of my favorite movies is Life as a House. 63. I'm very loud. 64. I feel like something's missing, even though I'm pretty content with my life right now. 65. My hair has a mind of it's own, and that mind is a paranoid schizophrenic. 66. I think meat is gross 69. The song iris by the goo goo dolls is one of my favorite songs. 72. I have never seen E.T. 73. I am drawn to intellect and humor. 74. I want my hair to be long but I can never grow it out. 75. I hate when people do things just to look important. 76. I love the game twister. 77. I'm not old-fashioned. 78. I love waking up next to someone. 79. I'm not picky about anything. 80. I like acting like a kid. 81. I don't understand why everyone feels the need to be obsessed with star shaped things. 82. Music plays a big part in my life. 83. I hate the word "emo" 84. I want silky smooth skin. 85. I love Oprah. 86. Sometimes I think to myself: Wow. People are really fucking stupid. 87. Stupid people annoy me. 88. I may sound sarcastic but I really am serious 89. I can forgive and forget. 90. I like being mean to people I don't know. 91. I can't stand ignorance. ( I do this all the time but i don't mean too :/) 92. Really tall people scare me. 93. I hate snow. 94. I love to laugh. 95. I don't listen to people that much. 96. I HATE hello kitty shat. 99. I am way too outgoing. 100. I hate when people always have to sound smart.

Dear Shannykins, It would've of been nice if he invited you but he's an arse, so don't even spare another thought on it and just get your head in that amazing book i gave you today it should totally cheer you up *hugs* Love Hayley Baby

Dear Shannykins, Chris is a dick and Jordan and Jaime were only invited because they kept harassing him until they gave him invites :/ and yeahhh i believe he should of invited you but its Chris, what do you expect. Love Hails

Dear self, Please do something about this, or just try and forget because it's taking over your life. I know you're hurting, and he was the only person you could really trust and now you've bottled so much up it hurts to even think about it, but you need to talk to him or try you best to forget and find another way of coping because the fake smiles and laughs aren't gonna last forever and im scared that you'll do something stupid if you don't. from Your already shattered heart

Dear shannykins, Don't be bothered by chris and his stupid party and our friends were only invited cause they asked him for invites :/ *hugs* Love Hails

Heroes

I confess I couldn't stop looking at him in that exam

Dear self, Well this sucks every time she brings him up, it makes you feel like you're hyperventilating and I wish that you could stop thinking about him. But on the other hand I'm grateful she does because she's the only other person who really understands. Me

Scrubs Matchmakers or after eights?

Dear best friend, Was there any need to have a go i was only asking you a question and you should understand why im in this mood. Me

God thats hard :/ ermm I mean I do love twilight but I'm just getting sick of it atm tbh so it has to be Harry Potter Donuts or cupcakes?

I am texting someone right now. I have a stomach ache. It's freezing in my room right now. I hate my advisor. I have to work tomorrow. My sibling always asks me questions. I hate having dry skin. I have crap thrown all over my room. I tend to find a lot of people annoying. My cat sometimes acts like a dog. I am NOT listening to music right now. I wish I had more time to read. Damn school. I pretty much only wear jeans. My pet likes to stare at me a lot. i never capitalize the begining of my sentences when i type. i'm currently wearing a retainer. i can't wait for this weekend. i have homework to do. mehhhh but i'm procrastinating by doing this. my grandma has a facebook i named my car. i have a half brother but i consider him my full brother. i want to go to italy more than anything. i really want a new phone. the guy i love lives in a different state than me. i'm still talking to my ex. i've wanted a tattoo forever but i still don't know what to get. i think i want my monroe pierced. enough with the twilight craze! i have been taking surveys for three years and my parents still don't know. i've been going tanning lately. i'm better with faces than names. i'm always thinking about the past even though i wish i didn't. i want colored contacts. some part of my body is in pain right now. i'm dreading the weather getting colder. i feel like i'm the only single one out of all my friends. i took a nap today. i love coffee but i never have time/money for it. i smoke a ciggarette every morning before i get ready. i'm trying to quit smoking ciggarettes. I never totally quit social smoking haha i plan on drinking this weekend. i actually liked lady gaga's performance at the VMA'S. i always get the meatball marinara when i go to subway. i don't have a favorite color. i'm probably one in a million people that doesn't like ice cream. i used to have a camera but it broke. i think hispanic boys are gorgeous. shirley temples are the best non alcoholic drink to ever exist. i always want new shoes and purses. my car needs an oil change. i don't think i'll ever get sick of watching friends reruns. i desperately need a job right now. i go to an art school. sad, but true i've memorized the free credit report commericals. i get jealous when other girls talk to the guys i like even if i know they're just friends. i've read the giver before. i change my mind too much. i honestly think i have bipolar disorder. i tend to use sarcasm a lot. i probably take too many surveys for my own good. i hate wearing socks. i always feel like i'm talking really loud. i really need to bring up my grades i probably overuse smiley faces on the internet. i want to get a new hairstyle. i've always loved dancing even though i suck at it. i want to be a kindergarden teacher when i'm older. soccer is the only sport i've ever been good at. the only jeans i wear anymore are skinny jeans. mcdonalds doesn't taste good to me anymore. i like reading seventeen magazine just for the horoscope. i wish i could cook. i only watch the olympics for gymnastics. i've used white stripes before and they actually worked. i'm a lot closer with my mom than i used to be. i have a friend who i consider my little brother. my room needs a makeover. there's something sexy about skater guys. i have a ton of body sprays from victoria's secret. the laptop i'm on always overheats and shuts off by itself. i completely support gay marriage. i want to try the instyler pro spinning hairstraightener. i still don't understand twitter. i've always wanted a hammock in my backyard. i used to like dogs better than cat's, now it's the other way around. nintendo 64 will always have my heart. :') i have trust issues and i actually think it's a good thing. i should probably get some sleep. --- Whenever I see school buses, I feel as if they must've been hijacked. Italian dressing on chicken is surprisingly good. I eat cereal for dinner 75% of the time. I have zero videos on my iPod. cba with it atm :/ My username has to do with one of my favorite songs. I post pictures to my Twitter account. Amazing is one of my most used words. I get excited over very small events/things. I don't usually number my surveys. Photography is one of my favorite things in the world. I spent all day at some place other than my house. I haven't gone to get school supplies/new school clothes yet. School for me hasn't started yet. I paint and draw on the most random things. I have Christmas songs on my iPod. It seems I always make plans with people, but when the day comes around to hang out with them, I never want to. I think Matthew Broderick was quite adorable when he was younger. Is it just me, or do people always have to wait an hour to get into the doctor's, but only see the doctor for five minutes? I hate the 'aftertaste' of mouthwash Apparently, I like ugly guys It is very easy for someone to wreck my day. I often repeat movie quotes. Ice skating is my favorite event in the winter Olympics I love guys with extremely blue eyes. I have made up a "family" before. Ben&Jerry's ice cream is amazing. I hate all the technical shit that comes along with computers. Malcolm in the Middle is a good show. I feel like I never fall in love with someone the 'right' age/my age. I LOVE how weather people talk Otto is a pretty cool name. Things I can see from here, bold if you can see them too. A Disney channel movie. A television. Some physics books. Chocolate cake. Hair ties. Spectacles. Remote controls. CD player. Many photo frames. A pen that has no ink. A Chinese worksheet. My school uniform. My school bag. My cell phone. My calendar. Awards and trophies. A lamp that’s spoilt. Post its on the wall. Cupboards. Red plastic bag. Random files. Cushions. Pair of slippers. Mooncakes. UHU glue. A hamper basket. A pink pen. A recipe book. A gigantic calculator. --- 1. Held hands with a boy? 2. Hugged a boy? 3. Touched a boy inappropriately? 4. Been touched by a boy inappropriately? 5. Kissed a boy? 6. Made out with a boy? 7. Been caught making out with a boy by an authority figure? 8. By a friend or enemy? 9. Had sex with a boy? 10. Had oral sex? 11. Stared a boy in the eyes? 12. Been caught having sex by an authority figure? 13. By a friend or enemy? 14. Ran your fingers through a boys hair? 15. Had a boy run his fingers through your hair? 16. Sat on a boys lap? 17. Made out with a boy in the dark? 18. Kissed a boy in the rain? 19. Kicked a boy in his sensitive area? 20. Spent more than an hour flirting with a boy? 21. Stolen your friends boyfriend? 21. Had your boyfriend stolen by a friend? 23. Cheated on your boyfriend? 23. Been cheated on? 25. Slow danced with a boy? 27. Took a walk with a boy? 28. Told a boy he was hot? 29. Told a boy he was ugly? 30. Been told you were hot? 31. Been told you were ugly by a boy? 32. Seen a boy naked in the flesh? a very stupid drunk boy who was kegged right in front of me D: 33. Dumped a boy? 34. Been dumped? 35. Asked a boy for his number? 36. Had a boy ask for your number? 37. Embarrassed yourself in front of a crush? 38. Secretly liked your best friends boyfriend? 39. What about just her crush? 40. Lied to your boyfriend? 41. Been lied to by your boyfriend? 44. Slept with a boy without actually having sex? 45. Been over to a boys house? 46. Had a boy over your house? 47. Done something drastic to get a boys attention? 48. Begged a guy to make out with you? 49. Been begged by a guy to make out with him? 50. Slept over a boys house? --- You're at least a little bit cold right now. You've shaved your legs in the past 24 hours. The last person you called knows your parents. 'I love you' was said in your last relationship. not by me I don't believe that you can fall in love that fast :/ Your best friend is in love. There is food in your room right now. Your friends like your current bf/gf/crush. You always forget to put your seatbelt on. You text the person you like. Your birthday is past the 10th of its month. You've had a bf/gf forget your birthday. Chicken soup really does make you feel better when you're sick. You celebrated the one month in your last relationship. Your best friend has had their heart broken recently. yeshh You usually eat supper with your family. You've fallen for a friends' bf/gf before. You're a really good gift buyer. You've had a cat/dog who had kittens/puppies. You accept every friend request wether you know them or not. You can't sleep without a blanket. You need very paticular conditions to sleep. You'd be comfortable going to the last person you kissed in sweats with no makeup and your hair a mess You bought what you wore today in the past couple of weeks. You'd be able to name all of Santa's reindeer. You've spent HOURS getting prettied up for someone. It takes you forever to pick out outfits for dates. [not dates but yeah] You've been friends with someone who moved to a different country. Cafeteria food really is gross. You've given someone a hickey before. If you could, you'd start your life over right now. You've cried in front of the person you have feelings for. There is someone who makes you smile just thinking about them. You've found a friends mom/dad very good looking before. You'd rather live without TV than without makeup. You'd rather live without your parents than without your siblings. Someone has once told you you're the most important person in their life. You've worn a matching Halloween costume with someone before. Your hair is in need of a wash right now. You know that someone has feelings for you right now. You believe you've met your soul mate already Someone calls you cute/beautiful/etc on a daily basis. There were other people there during your last kiss. You've fallen for a bf/gf's friend before. You've dated someone at work,broke up,and had VERY awkward times there. You can see some kind of liquid from where you're sitting. You've been set up on a HORRIBLE blind date before. The last person you hugged is single. Someone has mistaken you for the opposite sex. You've seen the last person you texted drunk. cba to check but probably though Your last "relationship" was ended pretty much mutually I'd like to think so You wouldn't date someone younger than you You know someone but only their last name Your grandparents are way too nosy. You've talked to a huge bitch in the past 24 hours. The last person you laughed with is in love. I'm wearing a blue shirt right now. My phone # has two of the same number back to back. My boyfriend has a job. I love burning candles in my room. I bathe more than once a day sometimes. I use an alternative method to shaving. There are six kids in my family. I'm a neat freak. My teeth are pretty much perfect. So is my grammar. I have two different color sets of highlights in my hair. My favorite kind of gum is Zing by 5. I like to make collages. I've never gotten worse than a B on my report card. I know what career I'm going to have. I got my license within the past year. I think I'm gonna go to bed early tonight. I'm a cheerleader, and I love it. My gums are hurting me right now. I have a purple cell phone. Purple is my favorite color in the world! I wear a lot of makeup, but not in a dramatic or gothic way. My hair looks good the majority of the time. My nails are ALWAYS painted. Toes too. I own over 10 pairs of Nike's. Muffins + Iced coffee from Dunkin's are amazing. Starbucks' coffee isn't even that great. I much prefer Dunkin's! I can go online on my cell phone. I have T Mobile. I have my own car. And I want another one for Christmas, one for the snow. Sweatpants = love. I'm in a relationship with someone in the grade above me. I straighten my hair at least twice a week. I love sunglasses. I have a family member in Iraq. I miss them SO terribly much that I can't stand it anymore. I have a walk in closet. My family is very wealthy. I'm embarrassed by it sometimes because I don't want people to think I'm spoiled. UGGs are definitely cute.. Idc what you say! I use hair ties, not clips, to put my hair up. I live in the United States. It snows where I live. Occasionally I really want to visit Peru. I'm almost fluent in Spanish. Next up: Japanese! Animal prints are more than amazing. I'm a virgin. I eat a lot. But I'm nowhere near fat, for some reason. I'm friends with someone in every year of high school I have two brothers and 3 sisters. I'm the second-to-last-born. All four of my grandparents are alive and well. I love reading MLIA. FML is okay, but boring. I always wear a tiara on my birthday. I wore a skirt today.

Taylor Giraffes or zebras?

Ignorance - Paramore

Angel <3