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New Livejournal update 07-11-09


thisisdeborah
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bunk life

 

"O Lord, sink me in self that I may rise in Thee." - Spurgeon

 

what humbles you? whether it's something that sort of breaks you down or really builds you up?

 

i guess i'll start.

loss of security humbles me... when i feel like the whole world is watching but no one knows me. i hate knowing that everyone can look but it's from such a distance that they get to make up their own captions and sort of say who i am on their own terms and in their own time. i'm simple. not hard to amuse... i like to laugh a lot. i like dirty jokes! and i like working my ass off. what i'm most passionate about doing puts me in a position to be judged on a daily basis and from a long way off. it's humbling because i have can't possibly have any control over that. on the other hand, i can lose my voice and walk off stage pissed at myself and then have the people in the crowd sing TO ME, instead of booing. that was an encore that i will never ever forget.

 

for the past couple of days, i've been thinking a lot about my life. the things i have. the things i've lost. i've never felt so empty and full at the same time. of everything that i've gained through joining a band and leaving home the thing i'm most grateful for is the constant humility. i'm humbled by the opportunities that we're given. by trials that i face alone. the people who love me the most, who hate me the most. the fact that i'm still figuring out the difference between some of those people. there couldn't be a better way to know exactly where you stand than to fall flat on your face. it's the moments where i know i don't have any of the right answers that make me excited to have what i do. a few real friends, a family that would do anything for me, music, being in love, getting to see the world... i could never take any of it for granted cause i don't deserve to have it so easy.

 

okay so again, what humbles you? the good and the bad.

 

- hayley

 

ps. can't believe this tour is almost over..

 

 

 

I really love this.

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