Your Thoughts On Attraction/Image/Life...

[SalsaC]

I usually enjoy beating things to death but looks vs. personality has been covered by so many people in this thread alone, that I'll just swim along and agree with everything that has been said already.

 

Attraction towards friends and/or lovers... Well duh, friends aren't for eye-candy. Looks become a factor because of the sexual aspect of a relationship, and that's not how I see my friends. Still, what qualities I look for in a romantic relationship and in a friendship aren't that far off from each other. Similar values, similar way of thinking, humour...all that g00d stuff. I've noticed that this isn't the case with everyone, but that's how it works for me. A little quirk that I've noticed is that if there's sexual attraction involved, the personality of the guy/gal starts to contribute to the overall attractiveness factor. The people I've turned down in the past didn't look repulsive, but I couldn't stop thinking "man, we're gonna have to start talking to each other sooner or later and that will be too much like hard work." As I uncover more of a girl's personality, I may think "hey, how did I never notice how beautiful she looks?" just because attractiveness begins adding up.

 

Do I find myself attractive? No. But the fact that I had an answer ready should probably tell you that I do think about it. Do I make an effort to look attractive or appeal to others? Yyyyeeessssno. I mean, I'm happy as long as I feel comfortable around other people. As in, not feeling like everyone around me wants to throw me into the dumpster/shower me in disinfectant. The only thing I take good care of is my physical condition, but that's just because I want to feel healthy, positive and comfortable. It's not because I want to look like someone else. In the end, all of that translates into this: I don't feel attractive, but I don't plan on doing anything about it either. As long as I'm happy with myself, I'm good to go. And I have low standards.

 

"ever feel like you're the only one with a personality- like it's some kind of stupid story where you're the only one not sticking to some ridiculous drama?"

Yes. Or at least it used to happen. If I was at a party but wasn't talking to anyone, I had the habbit of looking at other people engaged in their convos and reading their gestures and faces. There was so much "gotta keep the "I'm interested" -face on" and "damn, I feel like an adult for having this conversation. This will do wonders for my mature image", that I did think of whether I was the only one who was not interested in recreating scenes from our favourite TV series. That thought was overcome by the feeling of ME being the arrogant prick who thinks he is above everyone else, so I've tried to stay away from that. Over-rationalization in general is something I've tried to avoid.

[roxchick93]

Looks matter, anyone who says they don't is talking bullshit. The amount of times people have said to me "You do have a great personality though." Yes, personality is VERY important, but it's all about first impressions people. You could walk next to someone in the street who is practically MADE for you, but if there's nothing there physically then you've missed out.

I don't even know what I'm talking about here... People I fall for tend to be geeky, adorable and hilarious. To certain people, they may think I go for the "ugly" ones, but to me, the ugly ones are guys stuck up their own asses who spend more time in front of the mirror than building a half-way interesting opinion on something.

 

I certainly like something to look at, but if after five minutes you've yet to make me laugh, well, I'm officially no longer interested.

 

Looks are important, just not as much so as personality.

 

 

(I'm aware I may have contradicted myself here.)

 

 

i agree

[meganm15]

Looks matter, anyone who says they don't is talking bullshit. The amount of times people have said to me "You do have a great personality though." Yes, personality is VERY important, but it's all about first impressions people. You could walk next to someone in the street who is practically MADE for you, but if there's nothing there physically then you've missed out.

I don't even know what I'm talking about here... People I fall for tend to be geeky, adorable and hilarious. To certain people, they may think I go for the "ugly" ones, but to me, the ugly ones are guys stuck up their own asses who spend more time in front of the mirror than building a half-way interesting opinion on something.

 

I certainly like something to look at, but if after five minutes you've yet to make me laugh, well, I'm officially no longer interested.

 

Looks are important, just not as much so as personality.

 

 

(I'm aware I may have contradicted myself here.)

 

truth

[777]

Oh man, From what I've seen I could make a report on this. But I'm sure no one wants to read paragraphs as I was barely to even read posts on the first page. And yes I know people are different but then that's evidence for the actual topic of this thread.

 

I have friends who "pretty" people like, That are dating "ugly" people. No I personally didn't assume the pretty or ugly people this way, I only know it because the people themselves have assumed them those. I know it because those people, Or the crazy fucking circus social circle made them that way. But if you introduce others into the circle they may assume different people pretty or ugly.

 

I think it's just weird. This strangeness is shared in a lot of things like religion to cheeseburgers, skateboards to socks. It's just, I don't think one person can comb out the entire process of this attraction thing. Even if some do, They may be different-In fact they will be different than others who couldn't comb out the entire thing that could have helped a lending hand with support and help.

 

It's pretty much just vanity. Vanity seems to lead to vexation, Once noticed.