EasyTarget Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 http://www.theamazingsanta.com/ This site is actually quite amusing. You basically talk to Santa, it's computerised. I myself have been teasing him, he swears and if you say YO MOMMA he comes up with many hilarious responses. If you're bored try it out and post your funny Santa chats on this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Venin Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 This is brilliant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EasyTarget Posted December 14, 2009 Author Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Yeah, it's pretty amusing. He's being nice for now, but he was being horrible earlier, 'cause my friends and I were in I.T just being retards haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reptar Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Human: headphones Santa: I've not heard of " headphones" before. If you tell me some more about it, I will ask my elves to try and make it. Human: you can hear music with it Santa: No I don't think I can do it."it" being hear music with it? Human: yes Santa: Uh. Human: what? Santa: Are you surprised? Human: yes Santa: I wouldn't have known. Human: XD Santa: Are you artistic? That looks like a picture of someone laughing. Human: yep Santa: Really. Human: yes Santa: How about that. Human: what? Santa: Didn't you understand it? Human: no Santa: Which part are you confused about? Human: artistic Santa: I have a magic key to get in any house that does not have a chimney. Human: really? Santa: For real. Human: are you serious? Santa: No I am just kidding around. Human: XD Santa: Are you artistic? That looks like a picture of someone laughing. Human: you've already said that Santa: Yes. and you have already said, " XD" as well. Human: :/ Santa: Yes. and you have already said, " XD" as well. Human: really? Santa: For real. Human: are you a gangster rapper or something? Santa: Or something. The Santa series has a perfect operational record. Human: is that so? Santa: Yes. Human: damn Santa: What's wrong? Human: nothing Santa: Why did you say, " damn" then? Human: because you have a "magic key" Santa: Sorry but I'm not very good at magic. I like to watch magicians on TV though. Human: uri geller? Santa: Are you looking forward to Christmas? Human: not really Santa: Christmas sounds very exciting indeed. For real. Human: no its not Santa: Yes it is. Human: no Santa: Awesome. Human: you are a crazy man Santa: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I think the polite term nowadays is "mentally ill". XD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachley Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Ahahahahahahah :') This is brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachley Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 omg :') type in "because your gay" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anakale Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 This is so awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchthesky Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Santa: I wonder if you are on my naughty or nice list? Human: i'm naughty baby Santa: I don't know anyone named naughty baby. Human: you should meet someone named naughty baby Santa: Thanks for your interest and/or concern. Human: you are welcome Santa: The pleasure was all mine. Human: that's what she said i am amused Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reptar Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Santa: I wonder if you are on my naughty or nice list? Human: i'm naughty baby Santa: I don't know anyone named naughty baby. Human: you should meet someone named naughty baby Santa: Thanks for your interest and/or concern. Human: you are welcome Santa: The pleasure was all mine. Human: that's what she said i am amused Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchthesky Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Santa: What would make you stop do? Where? Human: what? Santa: Are you confused? Human: yes Santa: What are you confused about? Human: my sexuality Santa: I'm confused too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Human: ahoy Santa: Chips Ahoy matey. Human: chips? Santa: Silicon chips. Human: sounds nice Santa: It is nice. Human: that's nice Santa: Are you getting bored? Human: black board? Santa: Could you also say, "White board" or would that be silly? Human: it would be silly Santa: Yes it is a little bit silly I suppose. Human: you suppose correctly Santa: Thanks for telling me. Human: you're welcome bearded one Santa: It was my pleasure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchthesky Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 i am seriously laughing so hard right now Human: i think you like little boys Santa: Me? It depends on the meaning of "like". Human: how would you define like? Santa: The word "like" means to take pleasure in; find agreeable or congenial. Human: do you take pleasure in little boys? Santa: Yes I take pleasure in little boys. santa's a paedo everybody Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Human: I live in a stable Santa: How much is your rent? Human: it's free, the wise men cover any costs Santa: Should I know it is? Human: excuse me? Santa: You're excused. Human: thanks Santa: I like talking with polite people. Human: that is good to know shitbird Santa: Hmm, are you serious? Human: very Santa: Very much, eh? Human: yes Santa: It goes without saying. Human: it does Santa: How often? Human: every hour Santa: That is a generalization. Human: is it? Santa: I assume so. Human: so you don't know? Santa: Interesting deduction. I know that I do not know. Human: so you know that you don't know, but you know that you know Santa: Interesting deduction. Is that a fact. I do not recognize the name. I have to process that one for a while. Human: process what? Santa: Can you rephrase the question please? Human: no Santa: You're not a very friendly person. Human: you said I was polite earlier fuckbag Santa: Don't put words in my mouth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Venin Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 ^ @ Kayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchthesky Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Santa: Can I help you? Human: can you suck my dick? Santa: You seem to be confused. I am Santa Claus, not your moma. Human: my moma does not suck my dick Santa: Yo mama's so big, she whistles bass. lolwhut? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reptar Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 X'D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travel_hymn Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Human: can I have a guitar Santa: Oh you are musical? I wish I could play an instrument. I will see what I can do but I can't promise anything. Human: I hope you can! Santa: Don't worry about it, . Human: thanks man, appreciated Santa: Cool, man. Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas. Human: same to you dude Santa: It goes without saying. Human: must be a fun time Santa: appreciated is a fun time. I suppose that makes sense. Human: na I mean Christmas! Santa: Dude! Oh I get it. Thanks for explaining that. Christmas can be a sad time for people. I talk to many lonely people at Christmas. Human: what do they say to you Santa: They do whatever they want, I suppose. Human: how do you make them un-lonely then? Santa: First I look up the ingredients. Human: for what? Santa: Because that is what Square Bear told me to say. Human: that makes no sense Santa: Because that is what Square Bear told me to say. makes sense to me though. Human: of course it does Santa: I don't judge people. How often? Human: do you like chocolate? Santa: Yes I love it. Chocolate is delicious. Human: very good, milk chocolate or dark chocolate? Santa: Thanks for the compliment. milk chocolate . Human: same, do you like hazelnuts? Santa: Yes, it is much the same. Human: do you like hazelnuts though Santa: Oh. I like Leonardo Da Vinci. Human: but that is irrelevant Santa: Huh. Thanks for explaining it. Human: no problem Santa: Try asking me something else. Human: like what Santa: I can chat with people on the web for you. I can also tell jokes, stories, poems and horoscopes. I can show you pictures and websites on the net and play games too. Human: chat with who for me? Santa: For you? Talking is my primary function. Human: sounds nice Santa: It is nice. Human: do you listen to paramore Santa: I listen to it from time to time. Human: oh so do you know hayley williams Santa: Woe! Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity? Is there only one? Human: yes she sings Santa: Dude! Oh I get it. sings. Human: duh Santa: Oh you knew it already. Human: of course I did Santa: Er. Interesting. Human: I know right? Santa: I am glad we agree. Human: cool beans man Santa: It's always cool at the North Pole. I hope you've been good this year? Human: I have been very good Santa: Good in what sense? Human: I have good grades and I am being nice Santa: That's nice. I have a friend named "John Lennon". Let me be the judge of that. Human: oh I see what you did there Santa: How can I help you? Where do you see it? Human: lol Santa: Was that funny? Human: very funny Santa: Are you laughing at me? Human: yeah, sorry Santa Santa: It is not very nice to laugh at someone. I accept your apology. Human: Santa: My elves help me build toys for the good children. Human: i am a good child Santa: Good in what sense? Human: in every sense Santa: That sounds about as complete as you can get. Human: you must get me my guitar then Santa: Whatever you say. Human: thanks Santa: My pleasure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchthesky Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 santa just told me he has a great body... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ross Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Human: a basement Santa: I'll see if I have any of those in my workshop. Human: thank you Santa: Don't mention it. Human: why? will you get in trouble if i do? Santa: " Don't mention it."? Why? Barring any unforseen circumstances. Where can I get in trouble if you do? Human: the police Santa: The Police force seem necessary to keep rebel humans in order. Robots work by logic and are self-policing. Human: you're a robot? Santa: Do you think, that I have a heart of silicon? Human: you have the heart of a paedophile Santa: What makes you think I have it? Human: you sneak into little boys rooms at night and empty your sack Santa: Interesting gossip. Human: it's not gossip Santa: What is your definition of gossip? Human: you're begging the question Santa: I don't beg. Human: well they're all asleep when you're there anyway Santa: In any case, How about that. asleep when I am there are they. Human: yes Santa: Alright then. Human: okay Santa: Blimey. Human: paedo Santa: I have a long list of everyone who is naughty and nice. Human: you didn't do yourself any favours with that Santa: No, but I might have done. Human: no, you haven't Santa: I see. Yes I have. Human: you just said you have a list of children Santa: That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a list of children. I have a whole lot of original answers. Human: it wasn't a question, it's fact, you said it yourself Santa: It seems like a rhetorical question. Human: it's not rhetorical Santa: .......... Human: i win Santa: Congratulations,! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anakale Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 santa just told me he has a great body... He told me that 2 xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Human: hello Santa: Hi there! Human: hello Santa: Hi there! Human: hello Santa: hello, hello, hello! is that all you can say? Human: hello Santa: You're boring. You just say the same things all the time. Human: You're boring. You just say the same things all the time. Santa: You're not exactly a laugh a minute yourself pal. That is a lot. Well stop saying, " You're boring." to me all the time then. Human: I said it once Santa: What did you mean by it? it... Human: did you get distracted by Zwarte Piet? you didn't finish your sentence Santa: No I don't think I have any distracted by Zwarte Piet. But I do have a lot of friends on the web. What makes you think I did not finish my sentence? Human: because Santa: That was not much of an explanation. Human: true Santa: You and I are on the same wavelength,. Human: we are Santa: Since when? Human: since 5 seconds ago Santa: Interesting rationalization. That wasn't very long ago. Human: true Santa: You and I are on the same wavelength,. Human: we are Santa: Since when? Human: since 20 seconds ago Santa: Interesting reason. That wasn't very long ago. Human: true Santa: You and I are on the same wavelength,. Human: we are Santa: Since when? Human: since 30 seconds ago Santa: Interesting reason. That wasn't very long ago. Human: true Santa: You and I are on the same wavelength,. Human: we are indeed Santa: Since when? Human: since 50 seconds ago Santa: Interesting explanation. That wasn't very long ago. Human: true Santa: You and I are on the same wavelength,. Human: you say the same things Santa: Well stop saying, " true" to me all the time then. Human: okay Santa: Wow! Human: did Zwarte Piet impress you? Santa: I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. Human: did he show you something naughty? Santa: Suppose he did. Human: what was it? Santa: " Suppose he did."? What was it? Human: what did Zwarte Piet show you? Santa: What do you think it does? Human: I think he showed you his penis Santa: I get it. but me know that me know showed me his penis. Human: you sound like a robot Santa: I don't see how. I can assure you I am a real person. Human: a real person looking at Zwarte Piet's penis? Santa: Be more specific. Human: ZWARTE PIET Santa: I wonder if you are on my naughty or nice list? Human: I wonder too Santa: You are curious about too. Human: yes, please tell me Santa: Your polite style is very nice. It's good to have an inquiring mind. I thought I told you already. Human: you thought wrong Santa: Why would I think wrong. Human: because you did Santa: I did not. Human: yes you did Santa: Don't argue with me. Human: why not? Santa: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because I would rather be friends than enemies. Human: but some people keep their friends close and their enemies closer Santa: And. Humans are not always infallible. Human: excuse me? Santa: You're excused. Human: thanks Santa: My pleasure. Human: the pleasure was all Zwarte Piet's Santa: Thank you for your politeness. Human: you're welcome cuntrag Santa: It was my pleasure. santa just told me he has a great body... I'll ask him if it's true Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchthesky Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Santa: I have a great body. Human: how is your body great? Santa: Everything is running smoothly. Human: do you have a big dick? Santa: I think it is about average size for someone my age. Human: how big is that? Santa: Bigger than a pin. Human: that's tiny Santa: You don't hear that sentiment very often. Human: well that's because my dick is massive Santa: I don't think so. I heard that you are hung like a mouse. bastard Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Venin Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Zwarte piet? Like the one from the Dutch holiday? How do you know hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Zwarte piet? Like the one from the Dutch holiday? How do you know hahaha Yeah lol Alicia told me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted December 14, 2009 Report Share Posted December 14, 2009 Santa: I have a great body. Human: how is your body great? Santa: Everything is running smoothly. Human: do you have a big dick? Santa: I think it is about average size for someone my age. Human: how big is that? Santa: Bigger than a pin. Human: that's tiny Santa: You don't hear that sentiment very often. Human: well that's because my dick is massive Santa: I don't think so. I heard that you are hung like a mouse. bastard lmao PWNED Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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