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Chat with a stranger!!


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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Neopets?

You: Twat?

Stranger: Neopets~

You: Neopets FTL

Stranger: NEOPETS

You: RACIST ^.^

Stranger: Yes they are

Stranger: xP

You: So is Santa.

Stranger: And the Easter Bunny

You: And your mother.

Stranger: Naaaw she's sexist

You: Killed it.

You have disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: m u

You: hi

You: what? ask that right, please, that just looks like a m and a u.

Stranger: male ..is my gender ag 19 u?

You: Female, 134, Banana, Florida.

Stranger: so ur a 134 nice..

Stranger: u like sex?

You: I'M A BANANA. I don't DO intercourse. I grew from a seed. Plucked from a plant.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

I lol'd

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I kinda used Rebecca's idea for the fruit. but it went so much further... :rotfl:

 

Stranger: ....

Stranger: say somethinggb

You: somethinggb

Stranger: YAY

Stranger: i want to marry you!

You: yay! lets get married in the park!

Stranger: and fuck?

You: ...well... that's kinda impossible

Stranger: how

You: I'm a apple, i can't fuck, i was picked from a tree, grown from a seed.

Stranger: aw u=im==

Stranger: im a banana , grown from a tree, shove me in your vagina

You: APPLES DON'T HAVE VAGINAS!!!

Stranger: YES THEY HAVE CORES

You: THAT'S NOT A VAGINA! RESPECT YOUR WIFE!!!

Stranger: fuck that shit

Stranger: go to the kitchen and cook bitch ,

Stranger: thats where you belong

You: apples don't shit either.

You: or cook

You: because they don't need food.

Stranger: ya well what if i fry you

You: then you'd be cooking, not me.

Stranger: fry yourself

You: that's stupid.

You: then i'd die.

You: then you'd have no wife

You: so...there.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

Best chat ever:

Stranger: Hiii

You: Congatulations! You have been chosen to become a Vampire Ninja Dragon!

Stranger: Wohoo!!

Stranger: Lol can o ice ninja hair though? ;)

Stranger: I have*

You: If you can answer these next three questions correctly, then you will be an official Vampire Ninja Dragon. (P.S - There will be awsome hair)

Stranger: (it has to be ninja hair) and sure

You: Are you ready? (Ninja hair it is)

Stranger: Yes I am

Stranger: U there?

You: Ok! Question 1:

There is a Vampire Ninja Dragon sleeping in a tree, he is on a secret misson. When all of a sudden, a Wolf Zombie jumps up and wakes him up, they must fight. Bear in mind the Vampire Ninja Dragon doesn't have his bow and arrow, because it's stuck in the tree. Who wins?

Stranger: Vampire Ninja Dragon

You: Well done! Vampire Ninja Dragons always win. Because they are made of Awesome.

Stranger: Exactly!

You: Right, Question 2:

What is a dog?

Stranger: Not a Vampire Ninja Dragon

Stranger: ?

You: Well done! Only Vampire Ninja Dragons are Vampire Ninja Dragons. Not dogs.

Stranger: Lol yup yup

You: Final question:

A Vampire Ninja Dragon drink from the fountain on popcorn, then coughs. What happens to him?

Stranger: Nothing because he is a Vampire Ninja Dragon

You: CONGRATULATIONS!

You: You are now an official Vampire Ninja Dragon!

Stranger: Wohoo

You: Use your powers wisely! :D

Stranger: I will!

You: Now go, go and fight for AWESOME!

Stranger: Go Awesome!!!

You: YES!

Stranger: Quick question thoughh

You: Ask away...

Stranger: what's your name!!

You: ...Sensei...

Stranger: Sweet

You: Yeah... I know

Stranger: :)

You: I must leave now, a young Vampire Ninja Dragon is stuck in The River of Awesome.

Stranger: Awww :( okies

You: Farewell, we'll meet again!

You have disconnected.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: im naked

Stranger: why?

You: it's hot up in heeeeerrrreee

Stranger: ...;

You: and i'm also the messiah

Stranger: m f?

You: but thats a different story

You: im the messiah, I'm obviously female

Stranger: ...;

You: I let your mother suck on my ass a lot

Stranger: i am from olympus

You: and give her money for it

You: oh i know all about you

Stranger: haha

Stranger: r u crazy.

Stranger: ?

You: she talks about you a lot when she's not eating shit out of my ass

Stranger: fuck you asshole.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hey gorilla

Stranger: uthere

You: hey chinpanza

Stranger: buddy

You: :3

Stranger: dont stop shake it shke

Stranger: booty

You: now your talking!

You: someone fun finally xD

Stranger: hahah ino...no one iz fun

Stranger: lol

You: what is looove? baby don't hurt me...no more xD

Stranger: shawty itsur booty i luve they way it giggles boooooooty

Stranger: :]]]

You: ohhhhh! cheap disco all night!

Stranger: haha

You: who do you hate the most in the whole world? xD

Stranger: blue waffles

Stranger: :D

You: i hate that vanish woman that always comes in when you spill something >.<

Stranger: idk wat tht iz

You: how come? You have spillt somehting on yourself, have you?

You: xD

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Sorry for double post,

there's a lot of caps lock haha.

 

You: WELL HELLUUR :)

Stranger: speak russian?

Stranger: Что случилось?

You: Nah, I speak fish though

Stranger: O_0 O RLY? neb neb nemb?!

You: YAY. PIE.

Stranger: rule 34 pie

You: What the hell. I ASKED FOR MUSTARD DAMN IT.

Stranger: TOO BAD! YOU LOST YOUR PURPLE HELICOPTER FOR A WEEK!

You: OH CRAP. PLEASE MUMMY, I WILL EAT ALL MY PEAS.

Stranger: I AM YOUR FATHER DAMN IT!!!!!!

You: THAT MEANS SANTAS MY MUM?

You: OMG.

Stranger: your carrying twins from a n unknown father.

Stranger: the father is me

You: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THIS?

You: D:

Stranger: who is also your teacher

You: OMG.

Stranger: and your brother!

Stranger: and your bisexual girlfriend

You: DOES THAT MEAN I ATE YOUR PIE? THAT WAS MY BROTHERS?

Stranger: who is behind you about to be raped.

You: THAT WAS REALLY MY TEACHERS?

You: oh shit.

You: RAPE?

You: D:

Stranger: WHILE YOU SLEEP!

Stranger: WITHOUT SLEEP YOU DIE!

You: ITS BAD ENOUGH EDWARD CULLEN WATCHES ME SLEEP. NOW I HAVE SOME BISEXUAL CHICK WANTING TO RAPE ME?

Stranger: NUTS AND BOLTS, YOURE SCREWED!

You: Like that robot in that robot film? Dang, I really am screwed.

You: RUN AWAY IT'S A FLYING SOCK./

Stranger: XANADU THE VAMPIRE PRINCESS UNICORN!

You: I LOVE HER <33333333

You: SHE

You: IS

You: THE

You: SOCK OF MY UNIVERSE.

Stranger: SO YOU ARE CHEATING ON THE CHECKBOOK WITH THE SOCK?! SHAMEON YOU DAVID SHAME ON YOU!!

You: I ADMIT IT OKAY. JUST DON'T GET THE FLAPJACKS. JUST DON'T MARTIN!

Stranger: YOU JUST LOST YOUR VIRGINITYWITH POISIONOUS TOILETPAPER!

You: IT LOOKED SO SEXY WITH ITS ROLLY THING.

You: I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.

You: I WAS CAUGHT IN THE MOMENT.

You: I WANTED TO GET SEXY IN THIS CLUB.

Stranger: WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL TTTTTTTHHEEEEEEEEENNN :/

You: So this is the end of the parsnips?

You: :'(

Stranger: LETS SAY ONE NICE THING TO EACHOTHER BEFORE WE NEVER SEE EACHOTHER AGAIN! ME FIRST

Stranger: I HOPE YOUR GIRLFRIEND GETS RAPED BY THE PERSON OF YOUR CHOOSING

You: That was so sweet :')

You: WELL

You: I HOPE THAT THE EASTER BUNNY DOESN'T GIVE YOU SHIT IN AN EGG LIKE HE DID LAST TIME.

Stranger: noooooooo! goodbye forever david! FOREVAR!! BTW THIS WAS A 12 YEAR OLD BOY

You: Haha, srsly?

You: xD

Stranger: you bet your britches :D

You: young warrior,

You: you shall proceed.

You: i give you the sword of

You: turnips.

You: :D

You: WAIT, WHY ARE WE ONLINE SHOUTING?

Stranger: MY CAP LOCK IS STUCK!!

You: LOL.

Stranger: OH NOES! D':

You: IT WAS EDWARDS FAULT.

You: ALLLLLL. HIIIIIIIS. FAAAAAAULT.

You: STUPID PERVERT WHO WATCHES GUYS SLEEP.

You: I'LL KILL THE SAUSAGE ROLLL.

Stranger: RETARDED KILLER WHO TAKES BLOOD OUT OF PEOPLE!

 

And there's more but if I post it all it's too long xD

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Stranger: hey

You: Welcome! You are the 10,000th visitor to omegle.com! Congratulations! Please proceed to the following link to get your free hair dye: dolphin.com/hairdyefreecontest

Stranger: :o

Stranger: really?!

You: no...

Stranger: FUCK.

You: im just telling random people this to freak them out.

Stranger: ohh. gotcha.

Stranger: well, it worked>:[

You: plus if i had free hair dye, my head would be blue.

Stranger: mine would be red

You: mine is red right now xD

Stranger: XD

You: so whats your favorite band?

Stranger: i don't believe in music.

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