sincerely_

that sucks that you can't go. i basically don't go to concerts on school nights now, but Sundays are fine for me apparently.

HAHHAH fefe dobson. wow, what happened to that girl? seriously though i was scared. i had to think if it was hayley and if i was on the right page. and then i hit refresh and it was normal. creepy stuff.

wait wait. WHAT IN HELL JUST HAPPENED. i listened to it like 5 times and hayley's voice sounded RIDICULOUSLY LOW. and now it's normal. i was wondering what that was all about. but anyway, this song sounds amazing. AMAZING. i don't care how repetitive it gets, i'm gonna listen to this for like three more hours considering i'll be writing an essay. damn research papers. but yeah, it's freakin great.

good. i'm glad i'm not the only one who's been counting for a while. this way i don't seem crazy.

Army of Darkness. it was on TV the other day and i was happy. before that, i think it was Pursuit of Happyness. such a good movie; i almost cried. ALMOST.

i am the same way. i really want this cd and i still need Bayside's new cd along with The Academy Is, but i'm such a tightwad. i really hate spending money, especially when it means keeping money out of a paycheck. i like to just put my paychecks in the bank and know they're accumulating, even though i could probably afford to keep a bunch of money out. i think this week i'll have to keep a good amount out to pay for my sister's b-day present, plus music, plus to have cash for the [Paramore] concert in a few weeks. ANYWAY, back on topic. I've only listened to this cd online so far, and i love it. i really want to get it so i can listen to all of the songs instead of just the three that are on their myspace/purevolume now. i'd say Dirty and Left Out is one of my favorites, AND IT'S NOT ONLINE! but at least Amazing Because It Is is online, 'cause that's another really good one.

20 days, guys! i'd say that's a good time to start counting (as if i haven't been counting down for a month already. haha). i was getting worried that my tickets weren't coming, and then i remembered my dad said his came (i'm not really allowed to go to concerts alone. but he enjoys himself and generally keeps a good distance, hah.), so i talked to him and apparently my "VIP" ticket has been here for a while now. and it's in a safe place. is there anyone else who is getting by just on this concert? 'cause it's just about the only thing keeping my hopes up at this point in time. it's my motivation to get my rough draft of my research paper done. but i think i'll be up late doing it, plus waiting for Misery Business. anyway, EVERYBODY GET PUMPED! 'cause i know i am!

holy crap man. they're way too hilarious. hayley's dancing, especially the hop-scotch dancing (at like 30 seconds), is one of the greatest things i've ever seen. and zac, sheesh, he's all over the place, including with that lamp. these people are crazy and i love it.

yeah it just doesn't sound right when you abbreviate it... "TFP". seriously. TLA is so much better. hahah.

has anyone else heard about the renovations they're doing at the TLA this month? it'll be all fresh and new in time for the show. i'm not sure if i think it'll be good or not. i'm sure it will look nice. wood floors, red walls, a bunch of posters and stuff up. and chandeliers. that might be weird. plus, they're gonna change the official name. it'll be The Fillmore Philadelphia, which sounds lame. it sounds like a hotel, not a concert venue. and i'm sure everyone will still call it the TLA. anyway, 24 days until the show!

my friend would happen to be Abby! it really sucks that she can't go. i'll be at the m&g just like...ehhhhhh hi. standing alone. unless someone from the boards wants to chill with me

i haven't been on here much recently, but i'm going! i got m&g! did anyone else? my friend who was supposed to go with me can't since they moved it up a day; she'll be on a drive home from pittsburg. i could use somebody from the boards to chill with/near me during m&g or whatever so i don't go insane from being alone. hahah.

aaaa i'm done. so happy. wowzers. TLA, anyone?

aaaaaaaa i'm so excited. i don't care if i might run the risk of being late to work. I. DON'T. CARE. IDON'TCARE. wooooo. i'm so hyper right now and it is AWESOME.

holaaa! some more stuff, which would actually be something i mentioned that influenced that last thing i posted on here. it's one of the few things that i've tried to rhyme and it actually turned out well. Bad Handshakes Falling arms on sidewalk streets Selling sins in palms Passing corpses closed in sheets Healing wounds with psalms Failing hearts will still forgive But collapsed lungs won't take And blood from donors never sticks But some things you can't shake I know your breath, i know your blood Now toast to life, and drink to love Fixed eyes fall on darker skies Where clouds burn shades of blue Among the brighter stars, to seize A shimmer of the duller hue The shading of your skin; it pales Against the deepest cold The flames to fill the shallow wounds, The caverns of your soul And while hands held onto Sweet Syringe All nerves and fingers shake The cold caress of sidewalk streets Marks meeting palms and eyes as fakes I know your breath, i know your blood Now toast to life, and drink to love Gasping now, the earth gapes wide to swallow flesh and light Snatch breath and hope from all without Stole all mistakes and ended plight When gears turn wheels and oiled cogs And corpses stretch for burning Sun The speeding belt burns down the heels They shine mechanic, every one I know your breath, i know your blood Now toast to life, and drink to love Reaching for the sea, you turn to Heaven, plea your prayer! For drier words have never been Spoken in this thinnest of air And orchestrated, every curse - Confessed and then disguised - Strikes up the March of daily dawn As souls fall down and ashes rise

aaaa i haven't been on the boards at all in months! it's been forever. but i just wrote something about a week ago for a school project, but it's one of those cool projects where you basically have complete artistic/creative freedom. we had to write a "Song of Yourself" based on Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself", his style of writing, etc. . . . Song of Myself: A Memorial Compost “I celebrate myself, and sing myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.”* I despise position, and Time in itself, The fifth of three, I lie in wait For eager yearnings lie in me I am the young conscience of ages passed Through generations of squalor and consequence unconsidered; Scrutiny of premature life and overdue death The solution of eternal rest, the pendulous weight on lids From homes of sunken hopes, drift on zephyrs The propensity for a hundred windows (and yet more doors) Ours are twenty-five, at most, suppressed and overcast By gusts and chill of bone in an infertile winter so dry Ambulant figures frozen on gaping sills; groping for cord Affixed, adhered to jambs indefinitely wide; impending grasp on boundary Limbs embracing vestige, the familial tapestry of miscarriage The walkway circumscribed with tassels - the fingertips and tiptoes Demarcate intersecting cul-de-sac and sidewalk cracks we toed in summer’s eve Sunlight glanced off glassy fields, backdrop of their exchange [of us] Gazes across sins enclosed in palms slick and shining in nervous salutation For every bad handshake where limbs secede to sidewalk streets: Surrendering vestigium for Sweet Syringe, congested like broad boulevard at five We passed through unbeknownst to us and returned piece by piece; shattered Stones that perforated arms and legs outstretched, surrounding sunken ship, Our fragments, filaments of bulbs - whence flower never formed As sunlight did object to us, and fluorescent now our Black Eyes reject Finally abandoned in name - O, dear Susan, how you left us blind! Sentence barely formed, she found me somnolent and nauseous from the fumigated hole The fragments, legs and arms they spent, had folded in on one and all To protect in suffocation, emblems collapsing on face and mouth Her unnecessary prying hands to wrench me from abyss - toward exploration Through the universe of great exchange and remembrance of countenance, All sick and swift - the lies, the surrogates, to battle against the faults in the face of the clock My Sweet Syringe, the melody of nights up in arms against the past encounters The tune of praise to savior and salvation among the rusted cogs and wheels *the first three lines are actually from Walt Whitman's poem.. it was required. i'll probably also post what i wrote before that influenced a lot of this. i'll do that sometime soon. . .

this is weird because it's my first post in a number of months, but anyway... i'm guessing their headlining shows have been good? i'm seeing them on Saturday at the TLA and i have meet and greet; has anyone here done meet and greet at one of their shows yet/what is it like?

my one american studies teacher told us stories about his kids and i was cracking up. had an organelle quiz in anatomy that was pretty much one of the easiest things ever.

i swear my manager at work read my mind when i was reminding myself to ask her if i could be scheduled early in the day next saturday [even though the reminders didn't work], because she sent out the schedule today and I DON'T HAVE TO WORK THAT DAY. so i should be going to see This Providence at First Unitarian Church. makes me really happy. actually i even have that entire weekend off.

mm i have a good one. not funny or anything.. like a serious question. maybe a little cheesy.. or not cheesy, just kinda.. i dunno. something similar. ahha. could be wordy.. i've read about some speculation on 'My Heart' possibly being a song directed at/about God, and i was wondering if that is true, or what was in mind when writing the song/what it is about? also, kind of to go along with it: With your busy schedules and whatnot, is it hard maintaining not necessarily your beliefs/morals, but the 'relationship' with God, as in reading the Bible, doing Bible studies, etc.? I personally have problems keeping up even just with a normal schedule. Got any advice?

^ahh i like that. short but sweet. except dark at the same time. ahha. which is why i like it, the contrast between the two lines. i just remembered i still have something in my one profile on AIM, and it's from a while ago. i think at the time i wrote it i was thinking about my uncle, who, in short, is a jerk. except it's not necessarily ALL describing him.. it's more about like substance abuse, i guess? not that i even know that much about it, but what i do know about it is mostly from his example. In retrospect, in retrograde. Replay images of all past regrets, flipped, turned right side up on retinas receiving too much light. Search through last night's smoked cigarettes and hope for a trace of remembrance. The fingerprints were burned away with ammonia and nicotine, while you sipped away fears and one too many fight scenes. Obscure all lost "possessions" (if you know what i mean), make room for more of your worst bets. Focus on next year's headlines, where the walking dead will march in time with the beating of hearts, shattering glass, and all ticking of hours of the nights past. Get city hall on line one, here come the coughing fits. Now put on hold all inhibitions, the best is yet to arrive. Float in on all the poisons, the pills ingested that night when it had just begun. Fight through the recognition of what you have become. All eyes fixed on failure, the latest attempted suicide. But it didn't work quite right this time around the corner, the most sterilized of minds greets you with open doors, closed windows, and padded cells. Congratulations, self-destruction has finally paid off, because, oh, you lived through such hell. You're just destined for so much better (than what you rightfully deserve)

hmm... in my first block American Studies class, we have a student teacher, and today one of his past advisors from st. joe's came in and observed our group discussions. and a little while after the group i'm in finished, he came back in the classroom and was like "yeah that discussion was really awesome, so i'm gonna bring in some munchkins or something for you guys tomorrow." munchkins being the donut holes (sorry i think that term is weird) from Dunkin Donuts, not the Wizard of Oz kind, hah.

i just sent it! woooot. now i'm off to read Benito Cereno. hooray. sike. oh yeah, Alyssa, in case i don't get on the boards for a while, i hope you have a great time at the show on Saturday! i can't wait to find out how it goes! P.S.: i put my username from the boards in the subject line of my e-mail so you would recognize it. alright, i'm out! later.

ASJ;LDFAJ I'M DONE! should i just e-mail it as an attachment?

ahha sweeet. i'm finishing mine up now. and i'll make sure i get on between school and work tomorrow, so you can let me know if it's too big or anything.