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an unopened letter to the world.


laura.RIOT!
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Dear space invaders,

 

Why do you taunt me? You say to just use the arrows to move and the space bar to shoot, making it sound so simplistic. Why then do you torture me by making me realize my terrible hand eye coordination? I have to play you 3 more times this round, and hopefully I lose so I don't have to play you again.

 

Signed,

Dave, aka the guy becoming mildly addicted to this classic game.

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Dear K,

 

I'll try to talk to you tomorrow but don't get me wrong if I don't say anything. It's just because you keep confusing me. Or just the situation is confusing. I don't really know. I'd like to ask you a lot of things but I'm afraid I won't. But I hope we'll talk a bit tomorrow.

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Dear Kim,

You're SO weird, it creeps me out.

You never talk.

Never laugh.

Never smile.

When people talk to you, you turn away.

You walk funny.

You stand funny.

You act like a 3 month year old.

You didn't even know how to use a phone.

What is wrong with you?

You're 14 for fuck's sake.

Get a grip.

 

Shanwan.

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Dear everyone who I have ever made angry,

 

Sorry for pissing you off. Well, at least that seems like the polite thing to say. Really I don't care that I made you mad, and I never will but I was raised to have manners, so I'll just tell you what you want to hear. If you are mad you're probably too stupid to realize that what I did say to offend you was a joke, which means I don't want to waste my time talking to you anyway.

 

Again, sorry, but I don't mean it.

 

Best Regards,

Dave (aka the post-editing machine)

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