The last 2 threads...

[glorya]

EDIT: For those of you who have no idea wth is going on, first read this thread:

http://paramorefans.com/boards/showthread.php?t=4644

 

after you read that thread, read this one:

http://paramorefans.com/boards/showthread.php?t=4656

 

then mine(this one).

 

 

Before I even start to say anything, I would like to say that Paramore Fans has always been like my place of refuge and I’d even go as far as to call it a haven, whether it had to do with the music or not. I joined the boards back in 2005 and before then I had never been a member of any other forum, but what drew me to PF was the outward friendliness and eagerness to help. Even the staff were open to me as a new member, namely Diego and Brent. To this day (yes still, believe it or not), this fan site continues to impress me with the amount of outward support and geniality the members provide each other with.

 

I've just gotten through reading all of Diego's last thread here and I finally think it's time I should say something. Last night I was going back and fourth reading Jarrod's thread over and over again always having an idea about what he was talking about, but not being quite sure. I was skeptical about posting on it at all, because I was afraid I would post something out of anger about not knowing exactly what he was talking about. I didn't appreciate the way whatever it was that was being circled around was being circled around. But now everything kind of makes sense, and I'm beginning to understand Jarrod's need to post it, and I never doubted for a second that his intentions were nothing but genuine and in the member's best interests.

 

For the last couple of weeks I have not been able to come onto the forums very often due to school and final college testing. When I came back to the boards, I had seen that the Diego was asked to leave and talked to Ash immediately about what had happened over the coarse of the last week. That being said, I was very angry with some of the responses I was reading in Diego and Alyssa's goodbye threads. That was what led me to make that remark I did in Diego's previous thread. Being as temperamental as I was, I didn't stop for a minute to think about what the members know and don't know before I said that. It was an awful thing to say. No doubt. It was also immensely hypocritical of me as well. I believe that the members of PF are what make PF the tight family that it is and that everyone should be respected off the bat. I can’t even repeat my own comment because I’m so disgusted and embarrassed. I’ve said a number of nasty things about this whole situation, but this is the worst comment I could have possibly made and I honestly am so sorry because now that I’ve seen you guys speak out and now that I’ve seen how so many of you are hurt and affected, it has dawned on me just how much value there is in the support that you all have been giving Diego and Alyssa during a time like this. I acted inexcusably and Diego is right, this is not the first time I’ve done something like this, but I owe you all an enormous apology because this has been the most inexcusable and has affected the most people. Whether you accept or even believe me is completely up to you. For those members out there who I’ve ever spoken to on a personal level, I really hope that our friendship ties, even though just online, have not been severed. You know who you are.

 

What Diego mentioned about the OTST (Off Topic Staff Thread). It was a thread I started right after the whole staff came together to discuss some pretty horrible things that I had said about Diego and also another staff member in private messages. After all of the explanations, I wanted to start the OTST as a way to communicate more openly and honestly to the rest of the staff after all the havoc that had just happened. I’ll even post my first post in that thread for you guys to see. I feel like you all deserve to know about the OTST because it was initially where all the back talking occurred.

 

Ok so I thought this thread would be a good idea because I know some of us have things on our minds sometime that aren't really staff/PF oriented, but we'd still like to share with the staff and only the staff for whatever reasons. If you guys have anything on your minds, as random as it is, feel free to post it here. With all the drama we're been having here lately, I think it would be a good idea to have a thread where anyone can share thoughts. Maybe it'll bring us closer together as a staff. I just want to keep the morale up.

 

If this ends up being totally useless, we can close it.

It honestly saddens me to see something I started for a positive reason turn out so badly. I truly hate that me, along with this thread, am hugely apart of the reason for all of the unrest on the site these past few days. My feelings are the same as Brent’s. It’s in no way okay to talk about people behind their backs. It made it 10x nastier because I did it over the internet and to a certain group of people only. I take responsibility for all of it. I can (whether you think so or not) imagine what it’s like to find out awful things people have been saying about you for SO long, only from personal experiences outside of PF.

 

Diego, as a person who I’ve had quite a long and often times rocky history with, and also for all of the dedication you’ve put into the site, I’m honestly sad to see you go and I’m sad that it had to happen this way. A couple weeks ago, when we started to really talk again I was starting to think that we could possibly retain our friendship. I know that all of the doubts you’ve ever had of that being attainable was due to me. If I could have my way, I’d wish to go back to your post in the OTST when you said that this crap talking about forum members is nonsense and thought long and hard about that. I know it sounds really bad, but it’s true. I see that I’ve hurt you indirectly in so many ways and that’s even worse than telling you directly. I hope that eventually you’ll be able to see that I’m saying all this, not because of the board members to read, but to retain the friendship we once had (or the one that I thought we were having). If you don’t, I completely understand because you shouldn’t have to, but I hope you do for my sake.

 

Jess, as a staff member and a person, I’ll admit I haven’t known you as well as I would have liked to, but I wanted to apologize again for the whole Kerrang situation because that was beyond bitchy of me (yes I still think about it) and tell you that I appreciate all of the work you’ve done for PF, not to mention the Kerrangs.

 

Kerrie, first of I’m so sorry that you had to see all that first hand without me talking to you about any tension we’ve had between us ever. I think it first started when I became a mod here. You made a comment on me and steph’s welcome thread about how you didn’t agree with one of the choices. I saw that you edited it pretty quick afterwards and I appreciate that. But I really took what you initially said to heart because it meant a lot to me that I was going to be a mod. Ever since then, whenever I saw you on the forums, I kept thinking about what you initially said and it started a small grudge to say the least. I always felt like I wasn’t worthy of being on the staff. This is what triggered all of the comments I’ve ever made about you in the OTSF. It’s cruel, unfair, and I’m sorry for saying it. I know you’ve even come across things I’ve said on myspace in the past and I apologize for that too. I’ve chatted in on a phone party a long time ago with you and I’ve been on the forum long enough to know that you’re a generally a good person. I hope you can see where I’m coming from. And Thanks for wishing me happy bday on myspace. I can’t say I was not surprised to see that with all of the tension between us. I hope that you can eventually forgive me.

 

Finally, to whomever else this may concern that I’ve offended, hurt, or concerned in the past, I just want to say that the past few days, the whole PF atmosphere has been really ugly and negative. I know I have a lot to do with this, but it upsets me to see it this way because it is the total opposite of how it was when I first joined. I haven’t said anything yet on the main forums for the past few days because I knew it would be out of anger and I’d probably just say something mean and stupid again. I know that even after having said all of this, you all still have doubts about me being a mod, and it’s understandable. If you have any objections with me, after reading this, still being on staff, I’d like to know because all this could constitute a deserving leave from staff, on my part. I may not have done as much work as the other staff members, but I do try. Please don’t get me wrong. Like Diego, I don’t want to see PF broken to shambles. I love the family that I have here and I love the community that this place is. It is incredible. I know it’ll take a while for everyone to regain trust, but the last thing I want to see is a good number of you leaving. I hope that we can heal from all of this. I know that I’m going to have to do my part too, and you have my word that I’m going to work on it.

 

Thanks for reading what I have to say. I know it was long and please don’t immediately jump to conclusions about this being a way for me to save face or anything like that because it’s not like that at all, but I would like what you guys have to say so please post.

 

-Glo

[FeRo]

Glo, i know you sometimes act rash, but you are a good person, dont worry, im so happy everyone's coming clean

[whatsername104]

haha I think I'll post a semi-long responde to your thoughts because I have the most to say to them =]

 

i really appreciated that you posted this. Even though I was never really directly affected by this (not that i know of =/), it still sucked to see rude comments and crap about people that I liked. PLus, it was all odd to me because everyone that was mean to people was always nice to me.

 

I just want to say that I appreciate that you posted this, and that you also waited. I will say When all of this garbage happened, and you didn't post, I kind of like, idk ... thought mean things that I shouldn't have. But I realize that wasn't right of me to do. and yea ...

 

not sure where I was going with all that, but i hope it adds something to this and it shows that I'm not mad at you. =]

[Fire At Will]

Okay,I won't deny the fact that I have been secretly following all this stuff that's gone on the past few days (believe me it was almost impossible not too)

I love this place,I still love this place.I think it's just time there was a major turn around and I believe you guys can do it. I really don't think this is the end of PF.

[glorya]

That means a lot to me, the remark that I made towards everyone that supported Diego was the only thing I ever said about that situation right away. In terms of what Jarrod said, I wasn't sure what he meant although I had a pretty good idea. But still, I didn't want to say anything I would regret later. I just did not want to post at all on the main boards until I could gather my thoughts...but yeah the environment here lately has really gotten to me.

[Fire At Will]

I think it's messed with everyone

[thebrowncoat]

Thanks Alyssa - I really hope you're right. I think you are...

 

And Glo - that was really well said.

 

This has been quite a day...but I really think a lot of good is going to come out of it...some of us have definitely made some mistakes...but hopefully this is the start of something new.

[Locomotion]

Okay,I won't deny the fact that I have been secretly following all this stuff that's gone on the past few days (believe me it was almost impossible not too)

I love this place,I still love this place.I think it's just time there was a major turn around and I believe you guys can do it. I really don't think this is the end of PF.

 

I agree with my comrade.

 

 

Well its nice to see another reflective response, to be honest I am surprised by your post. I am kinda speechless.

I am glad that everybody is comming clean, I guess that needed to be done.

I dont know, maybe some people had to leave for this to become true.

Nice post.

It was nice to see the positive responses after my post.

I accept your appology.

[glorya]

I agree with my comrade.

 

 

Well its nice to see another reflective response, to be honest I am surprised by your post. I am kinda speechless.

I am glad that everybody is comming clean, I guess that needed to be done.

I dont know, maybe some people had to leave for this to become true.

Nice post.

It was nice to see the positive responses after my post.

I accept your appology.

 

Thank you. That means more to me than you know. I'm also really sorry about my outburst from yesterday. That was uncalled for and I was angry because of the confusion that arose from Jarrod's initial post.

[jchurch004]

Thank you. That means more to me than you know. I'm also really sorry about my outburst from yesterday. That was uncalled for and I was angry because of the confusion that rose from Jarrod's initial post.

 

first off let me thank you for making a thread. i appreciate it, and i figured you would come around shortly after brent.

 

as i told brent it was my intention to basically keep this very indirect and get ppl thinking about the entire situation. i felt it would be disrespectful and rude to call you few individuals out directly... i also knew that diego planned on making the post which he made this morning and that also caused me to keep it under tight ropes.

 

as for why i quoted this comment, i am a bit confused as to why you were angry about my initial post... is it because you were just confused and pissed that i didnt just come out and say who was to blame for all this unrest?? or is it just because you knew it was about you and the initial reaction was hostility toward me and whoever else was involved?? it confuses me a bit, but i believe you are sincere with your first words and you truly believe you did something wrong.

 

you are a very opinionated person glo, much like myself only you actually put it out there much more often than most. i dont disrespect you for doing that, but sometimes you have to know when to act like an adult, which you are 4 hours away from (18!!!! lol) btw, and shut up. i hate to be blatant but that be the truth young one. i know you know this, but sometimes its hard when you are caught up in the moment with all the drama... and all you want to do is say something to make yourself look good. so just to fill you in... this doesnt make you look good. no matter what you think...

 

i accept your apology and im sure everyone else will as well... in their own way of course... i just want you and the rest to learn from this and become a better person in the process... i have great faith that this will change us all for the better and if not, than what the hell right...

 

anyways, thank you glorya for doing this. it means alot no matter how hostile i may sound. its still all fresh in my head and its tough to just get past when you make a big apology post ya know. but big thanks to you.

[glorya]

 

as for why i quoted this comment, i am a bit confused as to why you were angry about my initial post... is it because you were just confused and pissed that i didnt just come out and say who was to blame for all this unrest?? or is it just because you knew it was about you and the initial reaction was hostility toward me and whoever else was involved?? it confuses me a bit, but i believe you are sincere with your first words and you truly believe you did something wrong.

 

you are a very opinionated person glo, much like myself only you actually put it out there much more often than most. i dont disrespect you for doing that, but sometimes you have to know when to act like an adult, which you are 4 hours away from (18!!!! lol) btw, and shut up. i hate to be blatant but that be the truth young one. i know you know this, but sometimes its hard when you are caught up in the moment with all the drama... and all you want to do is say something to make yourself look good. so just to fill you in... this doesnt make you look good. no matter what you think...

 

i accept your apology and im sure everyone else will as well... in their own way of course... i just want you and the rest to learn from this and become a better person in the process... i have great faith that this will change us all for the better and if not, than what the hell right...

 

anyways, thank you glorya for doing this. it means alot no matter how hostile i may sound. its still all fresh in my head and its tough to just get past when you make a big apology post ya know. but big thanks to you.

 

It was the first one. I was definitely angry because I was confused as to what or who this was about. Thanks for the explaination as to why you were so vague because it definitelty makes sense now. I also want to thank you for your forgiveness, especially after seeing your posts on the last 2 threads for the past couple days, and I want you to know that I hold it at a very high level.

 

As for looking good, I know that's a lost cause, but thanks for filling me in anyway. (and over here, I have another 7 hours >.<)

[kristina]

i just wanted to say that im really proud of everyone coming forward it needed to be done. & im happy that everythings beginning to be somewhat positive again. eventho i dont think ive been directly affected by this, well idk but its definately helped me think about the whole situation and get some good out of it. like glo said what drew me to stick around on the boards was the "outward friendliness and eagerness to help" and i think PF should keep being like that. i always come here for advice and what not. everyones very helpful and caring & i just want things to get back to that support that everyone had for eachother. im excited for the future of pf. and i hope everyones friendships continue to grow and become strongerrrr =]

[cheleawelseyx]

So, I've haven't posted about this topic at

all today because I really had to think about

it all. When I first read all of the messages

between the mods and what not, I really felt

betrayed. I was really surprised and shocked

that those words were exchanged. I would

have never thought that the mods were like

that at all. I always saw all of them as nice

people even though I haven't really talked to

any of them on a personal level. And then

I resently thought about my behavior towards

other people. Now, I have never talked behind

people's backs on here, but in "real life", I have.

And I then felt ashamed of all the times I have.

So, this was kind of a learning experience for me.

And I am proud of everyone who has apolgized.

I know it must have taken alot.

[feeltheprssurx]

i think paramore wud b soooooooooooo proud of us 4 coming clean and sharing our problems with each othr

[thegreenmansaid]

^ you make me laugh.

 

Glo, your post was so long I just skimmed. I got the gist of it though, and I'm glad/proud/happy about what you said.

 

We're only human, and I think you showed extreme courage in posting your apology. =)

[glorya]

^Thanks I appreciate it. It took me a long time and it was difficult to write. I didn't know what to say first, I'm just glad I got to address everything I've been holding back for a while now.

[thebrowncoat]

So, I've haven't posted about this topic at

all today because I really had to think about

it all. When I first read all of the messages

between the mods and what not, I really felt

betrayed. I was really surprised and shocked

that those words were exchanged. I would

have never thought that the mods were like

that at all. I always saw all of them as nice

people even though I haven't really talked to

any of them on a personal level. And then

I resently thought about my behavior towards

other people. Now, I have never talked behind

people's backs on here, but in "real life", I have.

And I then felt ashamed of all the times I have.

So, this was kind of a learning experience for me.

And I am proud of everyone who has apolgized.

I know it must have taken alot.

 

That takes a lot for you to admit that as well, so don't sell yourself short.

 

I hope everyone can still see us as nice people...eventually. I think we are...we just had our moments - I tried to give some idea where mine came from in Diego's thread in what I just posted...it's in no way an excuse though - there's no excuse for what I did.

 

i think paramore wud b soooooooooooo proud of us 4 coming clean and sharing our problems with each othr

 

I hope you're right. I really do.

[jchurch004]

truly glorya. taking time to reflect on what you said. i know you mean every word of what you say. i just take bigtime offense when it comes to certain ppl on these boards being talked about badly (kerrie, ren, suzie, kristina, diego, rachna, and many others).

 

to be quite honest i could care less if ppl talk shit about me. i think you should say it to my face tho but im 20, and i can deal with this shit ya know. but as for the ppl i talk to alot on a regular basis... i become protective of them... and thats why i get pissed.

 

but reading what you wrote and really being eager and admirable in your other responses has really shown alot of character. i hope it is true and you have learned something great from all this dear. i dont think you should be saddened by losing ppl's respect. as long as you go about this the right way, and continue to be true to us and yourself you will find great success in whatever you do. not just here on PF ya know. i admire what you said glorya. and i respect you for what you said. it takes alot to apologize to a shit load of ppl and admit you were wrong for what you did. alot alot.

[glorya]

Thanks, Jarrod. It's nice to know we have people like you who will stand up for others. It means a lot that you've been reading every word and taking it all into consideration. That being said, I came [ this ]close to picking up the phone and calling you last night. Just ask Brent or Ash, but i figured it wouldn't solve anything though and so I didn't.

 

I just can not say enough how sorry I am for all the people I've hurt...so thank you for letting me do that, regardless of how you feel, I'm glad the opportunity came up for me to come out with everything.

[kerrie]

wow I kinda feel bad for lashing out on the other thread without reading the rest. I was just excited for diego to post the threads to see what would happen. he did it too early and now everyones pretty much forgaven or whatever and here I come to stir it up again.

 

Glo, honestly I feel bad for this but I dont remember a comment I said about you being a mod or whatever. maybe cause I edited it? I dunno but yeah Id always be confused how you really felt about me cause talking to me generally you seemed nice then Id find stuff that wasnt so nice. The first time I ever really started rethinking about some people on here was last summer when I found that one comment on you page and then alyssa(tn) brought it to someones attention or something cause I guess it shocked her to bits. I thought since then it stopped till yesterday when Diego sent me the stuff. I wasnt overly shocked since I knew people never liked me in the first place but seeing it was still happening behind my back had me shitless. Ive had thoughts running through my mind from yesterday about how I thought you guys were a disgrace to fans of paramore and your name itself. I dunno how you would call youself a mod or admin doing that stuff. I was gonna post it but iv changed my mind. I accept your apology, its really nice of you to do this but at the same time TO BE HONEST im still gonna think if people are gonna talk about me after what I post or something. I just have those thoughts. well anyway yeah sorry for being unleashed in jarrods thread before I read these. Its just I couldn't wait to get out what I wanted to say..

[jtrosper]

TO BE HONEST im still gonna think if people are gonna talk about me after what I post or something. I just have those thoughts.

 

i seem to have these thoughts too. even though there wasnt any posts talking about me.

[jchurch004]

Thanks, Jarrod. It's nice to know we have people like you who will stand up for others. It means a lot that you've been reading every word and taking it all into consideration. That being said, I came [ this ]close to picking up the phone and calling you last night. Just ask Brent or Ash, but i figured it wouldn't solve anything though and so I didn't.

 

I just can not say enough how sorry I am for all the people I've hurt...so thank you for letting me do that, regardless of how you feel, I'm glad the opportunity came up for me to come out with everything.

 

well, if you would have called i can honestly say i would have been calm and very easy to talk to... and it wouldve prolly been good. you prolly wouldve slept better ya know... but i mean, you did it the way you felt was right and i admire that.

 

as for kerrie's post, i am still so damned confused as to why or how ppl are being shitty to her??? it completely blows my mind. who knows tho, i mean maybe when i talk to kerrie she acts like a completely different person idk i guess...

[glorya]

wow I kinda feel bad for lashing out on the other thread without reading the rest. I was just excited for diego to post the threads to see what would happen. he did it too early and now everyones pretty much forgaven or whatever and here I come to stir it up again.

 

Glo, honestly I feel bad for this but I dont remember a comment I said about you being a mod or whatever. maybe cause I edited it? I dunno but yeah Id always be confused how you really felt about me cause talking to me generally you seemed nice then Id find stuff that wasnt so nice. The first time I ever really started rethinking about some people on here was last summer when I found that one comment on you page and then alyssa(tn) brought it to someones attention or something cause I guess it shocked her to bits. I thought since then it stopped till yesterday when Diego sent me the stuff. I wasnt overly shocked since I knew people never liked me in the first place but seeing it was still happening behind my back had me shitless. Ive had thoughts running through my mind from yesterday about how I thought you guys were a disgrace to fans of paramore and your name itself. I dunno how you would call youself a mod or admin doing that stuff. I was gonna post it but iv changed my mind. I accept your apology, its really nice of you to do this but at the same time TO BE HONEST im still gonna think if people are gonna talk about me after what I post or something. I just have those thoughts. well anyway yeah sorry for being unleashed in jarrods thread before I read these. Its just I couldn't wait to get out what I wanted to say..

 

 

I don't blame you at all for lashing out. You had every right and it's not your fault you didn't read everything first, I've deserved it anyway. I'm glad you brought up past instances, because that's how all of this started and I appreciate your not posting, even though it was outside of PF.

 

I know that a lot of you, namely Kerrie and Jack, will always be thinking about us talking behind your backs whenever you post, but I also hope you know that this isn't something we're saying just 'cause Diego posted the print screens, so we can go back to it. I'm not just going to forget how I hurt everyone on here, I don't take this lightly. I understand if you don't, but I hope that you see this. I think I speak for Brent too when I say that we're really trying for a positive change...

[kerrie]

well, if you would have called i can honestly say i would have been calm and very easy to talk to... and it wouldve prolly been good. you prolly wouldve slept better ya know... but i mean, you did it the way you felt was right and i admire that.

 

as for kerrie's post, i am still so damned confused as to why or how ppl are being shitty to her??? it completely blows my mind. who knows tho, i mean maybe when i talk to kerrie she acts like a completely different person idk i guess...

 

It might have been off the wall sarcastic shit that offended people. atleast thats what Im trying to remember from what I did/said. I know alot of staff hated or thought different of me cause of this whole myspace music page thing I did and I understand their bitterness for that. If I woulda been caught doing that now I would have been banned immediately. I was gonna be banned but I couldn't get home in time to delete it so I told alyssa(tn) to tell brent I wont be home till late so hold it off for a while.

 

Im trying to be better about saying shit. sorry D:

[glorya]

well, if you would have called i can honestly say i would have been calm and very easy to talk to... and it wouldve prolly been good. you prolly wouldve slept better ya know... but i mean, you did it the way you felt was right and i admire that.

 

as for kerrie's post, i am still so damned confused as to why or how ppl are being shitty to her??? it completely blows my mind. who knows tho, i mean maybe when i talk to kerrie she acts like a completely different person idk i guess...

 

 

No doubt, you would of been chill to talk to, but I wouldn't have been so I definitely spared you the bitch in me =)

Last night I think I would of gone off the walls if I had called you especially if you weren't planning on telling me what you were trying to get at with all your being vague. I'm glad everything happened the way it did. I had a chance to sleep on it and gather my thoughts before setting everything straight.