watchthesky Posted August 3, 2007 Report Share Posted August 3, 2007 Michael: (re: Dwight) “He is an idiot. The man is an idiot, ladies and gentlemen.” Kevin: “What if he dies in the fire, and that’s the last thing you ever said to him?” Michael: “I didn’t say it to him. I said it about him.” best show ever, lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted August 5, 2007 Report Share Posted August 5, 2007 "Someone once said to me 'If you look up stupid in the dictionary there's a picture of you'. Well I'm not the one who had to look up stupid in the dictionary. And my dictionary doesn't have pictures you fucking idiot" - Ed Byrne (comedian) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted August 5, 2007 Report Share Posted August 5, 2007 "So yeah, me and Joey just walked off the set and disappeared, cause we've been practicing magic for years." (Josh Homme, on the In My Head video shoot) "All the drugs you can handle.....breakfast at Champion's! And...his new nickname is crystal meth!" *points to Nick* (Josh Homme onstage at PunkPop 2003) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
get carried away Posted August 5, 2007 Report Share Posted August 5, 2007 "bros before hoes, why? because your bros are always there for you, they've got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason, and you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hoes in the world, and then....and then suddenly she's not yo ho no mo" THE OFFICE<3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted August 6, 2007 Report Share Posted August 6, 2007 "Now back up, put the gun down, and get me a packet of tropical fruit bubblicious." "....and some skittles." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jorgi Posted August 6, 2007 Report Share Posted August 6, 2007 Bad Boys ! ahahaha. Russel Howard: "do you ever reckon the queen lies in bed with the duvet right up to her neck so just her head's showing, and goes "LOOK PHILLIP, I'M A STAMP!" legend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 "Never before have I heard such gratiutous use of the word butt!" "But, but, but, but, but-" "Make him stop!" *slams door shut* xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaleyLovesIndie Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 All of these are from the "Sexual Harrassment" episode of the Office. Also, I got these off of twiztv.com. Michael: (to Angela) Gimme a break. (to rest of staff) Um, Stanley. How about that hot picture you have by your desk? (The camera cuts to Stanley looking confused) Michael: Centerfold in the catholic school girl's outfit? (Stanley turns to the picture) Michael: (OS) I mean it is hot, it is sexy, and it turns 'em on... (Camera zooms in on picture) Michael: ...and I will admit that the best part of my morning is staring at it. But what, we're just going to take it away? Stanley: (perturbed) That is my daughter, she goes to Catholic girl's school. (Cut back to Michael's "caught in the headlights" look) Stanley: (OS) I'm taking it down right now. --- Michael: What if Pam... was a lesbian? (Quick cut of Pam looking startled) Michael: What if she brought her (air quotes) partner into work? (to Toby) Would that be crossing the line? (Jim, amused, swivels his chair to face Pam, who is looking up in disbelief) Toby: (OS) No. Michael: (OS) What if the made out in front of everybody? Toby: (OS) Well that would be... Michael: At home. And I told everybody everything about it. (Dwight, happy, does a little fist pump with both hands) Toby: Okay, I'm lost. Michael: Okay, well then let's act it out. Pam, you will be girl 'A'...(quick to Pam with mouth agape, looking shocked)...and girl 'B' will be...(Michael looks at his options) Okay, we'll use the doll. (grabs the doll, motions for Pam to come up front) Pam. (Quick cut of Toby straight faced) Michael: (more insistent) Pam. (Cut to Pam looking absolutely terrified now) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 Classic Fawlty Towers: Mrs Richards: "Now listen to me, I booked a room with a bath. When I book a room with a bath, I expect to get a room with a bath" Basil: "You've got a bath. There is your bath - " Mrs Richards: "Call that bath? It's not big enough to drown a mouse" Basil: "I wish you were a mouse" Mrs Richards: "And another thing. I asked for a room with a view" Basil: "Deaf, dumb AND blind... This is the view as far as I remember madam. Yes. Yes. This is it" Mrs Richards: "When I pay for a room with a view, I expect something more interesting than that" Basil: "That is Torquay madam" Mrs Richards: "Well it's not good enough" Basil: "Well may I ask what you were expecting to see out of a Torquay hotel bed room window? Sydney Opera House perhaps. The hanging gardens of Babylon? Herds of wilderbeast sweeping majestically..." Mrs Richards: "Don't be silly. I expect to see the sea" Basil: "You can. It's over there in between the land and the sky" Mrs Richards: "I'd need a telescope to see that" Basil: "Well may I suggest you consider moving to a hotel closer to the sea. Or preferrably in it" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 ^ I've been watching The Simpsons lately.... Marge: Homie, are you really going to ignore Grandpa for the rest of your life? Homer: Of course not! I'm just going to ignore him for the rest of his life. Bart: Homer, I hate to say this, but your half-assed underparenting was better than your half-assed over parenting. Homer: But I'm using my whole ass! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchthesky Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 "bros before hoes, why? because your bros are always there for you, they've got your back after your ho rips your heart out for no good reason, and you were nothing but great to your ho, and you told her that she was the only ho for you, and that she was better than all the other hoes in the world, and then....and then suddenly she's not yo ho no mo" THE OFFICE<3 LOL OMG favorite office quote ever i watched this episode last night Oscar: This sounds like a get rich quick scheme. Michael: Yes! Thank you! You will get rich quick. We all will! Toby: Didn't you lose a lot of money on that other investment, the one from the email? Michael: You know what, Toby? When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria emails you directly, asking for help, you help! His father ran the freaking country, okay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Family Guy... Police Man: "Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" Peter: "I do. You bastard" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Any Brits remember Bottom, one of the greatest gross-out comedies ever? "I wonder what people in the Medieval period did before TV?" "Well they had their tea, didn't they?" "No, I mean before TV was invented." "Well they had cock fights didn't they?" "...no wonder they all caught the plague." "Hey Richie! Even though we people at the BBC believe in the right to let people believe whatever they want- *looks at camera* Cause we don't want to get into the shit about this one- we don't actually belive in God." "Oh Yeah!" "Shit!" *God's hand disappears and they fall to their deaths* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Bottom was legendary. I remember seeing it only once when I was really young, and loved it. One of them was getting their head slammed repeatedly in a fridge door That's all I remember. Fond memories though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 "Why do they call you Spudgun?" "Give me a potatoe and I'll show you." "You don't wanna do that, Richie." "Well why do they call you Dave Hedgehog then?" "Give me a hedgehog and I'll show you." xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 Father Ted Classic: "Now let's go out there and LICK SOME ARSE... no no... I mean KICK some arse!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meganm15 Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 "She was like rofl, but i was like no id rather LOL" its on some mtv commercial. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchthesky Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 "Death's got an Invisability Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of running at them, flapping his arms and shrieking ... sorry, Hermione." god bless ronald weasley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XxSanctuaryxX Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 "Luna wasnt perplexed by ron's rudeness. She was merely watching him like a mildy interesting television programme" xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted August 9, 2007 Report Share Posted August 9, 2007 I finally remembered a Family Guy quote: Lois: "You bought the statue of David?!" Peter: "Nah I just rented it from the museum... they're gonna be pissed - the penis broke off" Peter throws it, and it smashes through Mr Weed's window. He picks it up... Mr Weed: "I shall call you Eduardo" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted August 12, 2007 Report Share Posted August 12, 2007 Not sure if this was Jesse Hughes or Josh Homme, but it was from the band Eagles of Death Metal after Axl Rose kicked them off his tour: "At first the audience refused to welcome us to the jungle, but by the time we took our final bow, it had become paradise city. Although Axl tried to November rain on our parade, no sweet child o' mine can derail the Eagles of Death Metal night train. We say live and let die." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted August 12, 2007 Report Share Posted August 12, 2007 I saw that before. I think it was Jesse who said that. Lolz @ Axl. "Turning On the Screw's about Beer nuts, you know. Just listen to the song....Beer nuts! Beer nuts! Beer nuts everyday! *said in sync with the rhytme to TOTS*" Josh Homme Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted August 12, 2007 Report Share Posted August 12, 2007 "GET IN MAH BELLY!!!" Fat bastard, Austin Powers 2. xD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sincerely_ Posted August 13, 2007 Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 "You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?" courtesy of Joe Dirt, one of the best movies ever made the inflection makes it even better, especially the way he says "with or without the scooter stick" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted August 13, 2007 Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 Taken from a Paramore promotional video on MTV. A convo between Josh and a talking fish... Fish: You're supposed to be a rock star? You're so damned pale. And skinny. Josh: Dude, you're bumming me out... Fish: What? Is the big rockstar gonna cry? Wah, wah... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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