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an unopened letter to the world.


laura.RIOT!
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Dear Mom,

Pardon my language please, but why are you such a hard ass all the time towards me? You act as if I'm the plague and avoid me as such! If I just so happen so enter the same room as you, you act as if a criminal has just entered and God forbid I talk to you! If I try to talk to you or if you absolutely have to talk to me, you act as though it's such a stressful chore and you roll your eyes and heavy sigh in constant annoyance. For the past five, almost six years you've been this way and it came out of nowhere!

You talk to my sister on a constant basis and you are always willing to defend her or do whatever you need to do to keep her happy, but you can never seem to do the same for me. Even when I started getting panic attacks you'd get angry with me--AS IF I CHOSE TO HAVE THEM. I was just a little girl when I started getting them and you waived them off as though they were absolutely nothing. Do you have any idear what it's like to be eleven-years-old and unable to sleep because you're afraid you're going to die? To be sick to your stomach all the time and have your Mother tell you to stop acting like a baby (when you ARE a baby) and then have her go and care for your older sister when she feels a tad bit under the weather? Do you even know? And even now you do the same. I'm sick all the time and if I try to tell you, try to explain to you just how bad it is, you heavy sigh in annoyance and tell me it's all mental.

Anytime you've had to make me a doctors appointment you can't stand it! You get mad at me and start yelling. When I'm curled up on the ground, unable to move and hardly breathe because it feels as though someone's pounding my stomach and stabbing it, and spitting up blood, it seems you don't do much to help at all. You don't even mention calling the doctor. But my sister gets a string of headaches and some bad sleep for a couple days and you're ready to rush her to the emergency room. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!?!

Why do you dislike me so much? I love you to death and will always do anything for you, but I need for you to know that now I don't need you one bit when I'm ill. One day, you're going to wish you were there for me when I was ill and you're going to want to be there for me but I'm not going to let you because I'm not going to need you there. I've been taking care of myself when I'm really sick since I was eleven, I've been carrying on normally with life as though I never feel the pain and you don't even know it. Mom, you have no idear how much it hurts some days to even get out of bed or that I still wake in the middle of the night with horrible stomach pains or that I've been losing weight and haven't been able to eat. I can't tell you anything because I know you're not going to take any of it into account.

I love you and maybe I just don't understand your ways. Maybe you're just trying to sweep it all under the rug because you truly do care and are just afraid, but you can't keep doing that, Mom. It's going to hurt you one day.

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:kiss:

 

Dear Dad,

Ah I was just about to wrote an angry letter but I can hear you screaming through the phone.

It's always the same old shit with the darn thing.

Anyways, I hope zeh stepmom won't come to the city 'cause I can't be arsed with her complaining.

 

Demi.

 

Dear Demi,

Drop the zeh.

Demi.

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Dear _,

I was reading my texts back, and like.. around this time last year. maybe a bit before, I had a huge crush on you.

I guess you never found it out, hehe.

We used to hang out in EVERY break though, and the subjects you talked about bored the shit out of me, but meeeen.

 

Demi.

 

Dear self,

Why the ?! did you text her again?

 

Me.

 

Mam,

NO I DON'T WANT YOU TO PICK ME UP SO I CAN GO ON THE COMPUTER ALL NIGHT, I WANT YOU TO PICK ME UP BECAUSE HE CAN'T DROP ME OFF.

I'm so sick of this.

I just tell you the truth, face it.

''I don't feel so well''

Oh seriously? There doesn't go a day by that you do feel WELL.

Seek help or something, I can't put up with it anymore.

 

-

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