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an unopened letter to the world.


laura.RIOT!
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Dear ____,

Why are you so disgusted with me and everything that I do? You support her in everything she does, but when I'm doing something you thrive on tearing it down and belittling me. Are you just mad because you see that now when you're disgusted with me, I go about my merry way anyway? Are you mad because I've found my happiness and no longer build my world around what you think of me? I stopped doing that a long time ago, in case you haven't noticed.

I'm not a little girl anymore. You don't even know half of what I've dealt with or what I still deal with. The truth is that you don't even care. I tried to tell you when I was younger just what was going on, that I was in pain, and all you did was shrug your shoulders and turn away. I don't know if you do this out of fear because you can't handle the truths or if you're truly a cold person. I can only hope it's out of fear.

Don't tell me that you don't see what's going on. Don't tell me that you couldn't see back then what was happening. I know you did. But now it's so much easier for you to blame me for the things I can't control. You pick out my bad points and never cared to focus on the good. You're only on my side when you want something from me, and I'm always stupid enough to help you out because I love you too much to watch you fall.

I can't do this anymore. I have to let you go even more than I already have. I never wanted to and I wish I didn't have to, but it's what you've done to me. I can only hope one day you're able to open your eyes and see who I really am, but it'll be too late by then. You've already lost me.

I'm sorry and you know that I'll always love you but I'm not going to be your stomping ground from now on. If you wish to tear me down, go ahead but I won't be listening. I'm too damn happy to let you ruin it and I love life. I'll love it even more when I don't feel your scathing remarks.

Goodbye.

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Dear true friends,

Don't ever leave me. Seriously. None of you even live in my area, which is pathetic, but if I didn't have you guys, I don't know what I'd do. I'm just so, so, so lonely. I'm only ever truly happy when I'm on PF or msn with you guys. So thank you for seeing some good in me, since I find it an impossible task. I do try to be a good friend. I know I can be dramatic, irritating and whiney, but the majority of you never get mad at me. Sometimes I wish you would, but I know it's just because you care. I love you all.

 

Someday!

 

Shannnnnon. xxx

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Dear Baby Chris

IM MAD AT YOU CAUSE YOU DINT THINK! YOU DUMBASS! HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND!HE WAS CUTTING AND HAVING ANOTHER GIRL SEND HIM PORN PICS! AND YOU ALLOWED HIM TO FEEL YOU UP!!!! AND EVERYONE INVOLVED WERE MY FREINDS! HOW DID YOU EXPECT ME TO REACT?

ive been there for you for three years, Chris. Ive listened to you talk about your problems everysinglefuckingday for three years. i was honest when need be but told you to let me know if you wanted me to just listen and not say anything. i did my best to not push you on issues.

i liked him SO much, Chris. and you knew that! You were my BabySis and i trusted you! I told you i liked him. and i had been praying for him everyday for six months, i had praying that God's will would be done, but telling God how much i liked him. You know its rare that i ever get my heart involved in guys or relationships period! He was the first guy i could see myself with in a personal relationship...and you knew this for SIX MONTHS! and then you come to me, rubbing it in me face (unintentially im sure, but would it kill you to think?!) that he asked you to prom and how he still liked you, even after you USED AND ABUSED HIM FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR! AND YOU WENT WITH HIM!

I have explained all of this to you....except i was much nicer to you about it. i explained it to you two times, and both were in writing and you have those notes, and a week after i give you those notes you ask, "So...why are you mad at me again?"

 

I can forgive and love you, but i dont have to be freinds with you.

 

P.S. Once i stopped talking to you, you ran to him...and now he thinks im being inconsiderate and ungodly. thanks. so much.

 

*Big Sis*

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Dear person,

Hopefully you'll have gotten the message now. You didn't ask many questions, so I'm not sure which way to take that. On an impulse I'll say it was a good sign. It's for the best this way, it would never work anyway, so why kid ourselves? It was cruel of me to "lead you on" like that, if I was infact doing this. I don't think I was, I just felt confused, that's all. I'll never like you the way you like me, not by a longshot. I've said my apologies to you now, so hopefully I'll never have to again. I'm quitting being hot and cold with you. I'll just talk to you if you talk first, that way I know where I stand. I'm sorry for any confusion though.

It's useless anyway. The one person I truly care about in that way only views me as a very good friend. Not that we could ever be together anyway. Urgh, it hurts so freaking much. I understand how you feel now.

No hard feelings?

 

 

Shannon.

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Dear person,

 

It's useless anyway. The one person I truly care about in that way only views me as a very good friend. Not that we could ever be together anyway. Urgh, it hurts so freaking much. I understand how you feel now.

No hard feelings?

 

 

Shannon.

 

Dear Shannon,

dont you hate those situations?

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