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What's YOUR Story?


Guest Arya
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Ok... here's my life...

 

I was born Hannah Sian Crozier on May 17th 1991. Not named after anyone famous or anything, just a name. My older sis (by 1 year 7 months, 11 days and 5 mins) always had all the attention. There's vids of her being born and through childhood, but yet just about nothing of me. I was a mummy and daddy's girl, always doing the right thing. Had a best friend who lived over the road, everything was fine til i reached Primary School.

 

Me and my best friend Sophie both went to our local primary school and everything was fun for a few years. We both behaved and did all our work. Then everyone started wanting to be friends with Sophie, but because she was always with me i started getting bullied all the time. So i'd spend my breaks and lunches alone. Sometimes Sophie would come spend time with me but someone would always come get in the way and i'd end in tears. I couldn't talk to my parents about this cos they were never around much. I had a childminder who lived on a nearby farm. She had 2 boys and looked after me, my sis and a few other children. I hated things there as well. I used to sit upstairs with the 2 boys playing nintendo racing games and their eldest son (year older than me) started saying the winner had to make the loser do a dare. We used to play it all the time but one year when i was in about Year 4 i lost and the eldest son won. So he asked his lil bro to leave the room and shut the door. He kept asking me to touch him and touching me and such and cos of child rules you had to go through with dares... as much as i hated it.

 

So many problems came from that place... while i was in year 6 i used to have both their sons and my sis all bullying me. I'd end up in tears cos i don't have the mental wall that stop emotions from pouring out... and of course my childminder and my mum would have a go at me for being silly. Plus at school i still didn't have friends and the people who bullied me for being friends with Sophie started bullying me for other things as well. The teachers did nothing about it and i just went into my own world. It got to a point where i cried every day. And still i couldn't talk to my parents about anything. Managed to get through my SAT's with straight 5's tho =D

 

Next i moved onto Secondary School. Thought it'd be different but tbh it was worse. My parents still worked late but this time i didn't have to be at my childminders. Nobody wanted to be friends with me so i settled down and did my work and was forever after that known as the Boffin/Bof/Teachers Pet/ect. After a while i managed to get a small group of friends and after a while one of the girls started hating me so i got pushed out of the group. Everyone in my year thought i was desparate for friends cos for my birthday that year my dad booked out our village hall for my birthday without me asking and told me i had to invite more than 20 ppl, of course i only had like 5 friends so i invited my sis' friends and some people from my year. I got through years 7, 8 and 9 with help from teachers and when i started skateboarding in year 9 i made friends with some skaters from school and everything seemed fine. Got a 6, 7 and 8 in my SAT's. Then i reached year 10...

 

At the beginning of the year i was happy and in mid-September i was invited to my friend's party. Stuff happened there that i really don't wanna talk about and people started saying i said something about this guy which i know i didn't. Just so happened that his mum was dying in hospital so everyone sided with him and started hating me. Around the same time i went out with this guy for a day and after that he kept saying he loved me and couldn't live without me and all that jazz. Because i didn't feel the same he started self-harming and made sure i knew it was cos of me. I even had to watch him cut my initials into his arm in the middle of maths class. He made my life hell, he would show me all his scars and tell me it was because of me, he'd get his friends to tell me that he'd cut himself last night because of me, he'd get MY friends to tell me that he'd cut because of me. I couldn't escape it all so i caved into depression and ended up cutting as well.

 

Soon i started going out with a guy called Sam and everything got better, he got this guy to leave me alone and gave me hugs and kisses to make me happy. But after a while he started paying me no attention and either talking to his friends or playing guitar. I lasted 4 months in that relationship before giving up. Still to this day my longest relationship. But anyway. I got my way through the rest of year 10 single, a few friends and verging on happy being around them.

 

That summer i went out with one of the people who was nice enough to be my friend. We went down by the river in caversham, somewhere my dad used to take me to take pics of me and my sis under the willow trees =D and there i met a load of really nice people and soon became close to some and kept going every Saturday and some week days. Then i went into year 11 and got through that. Would still go to town every Saturday to see friends tho. Because some of those went to my school and knew about the rumours they started spreading similar ones about different people to make me look bad cos they didn't like me and they pushed me away to a point where i'd come to town to see friends but they'd make things hell. Ended up getting a weekend job so i didn't have to see them. But still more rumours came through even though i didn't talk to anyone or see anyone. It got to a point where people started calling my house phone at 2 in the morning to tell my parents lies so i'd get into trouble. I hadn't self-harmed for about a year and ended up starting again. Got to the end of year 11 with a group of loyal friends whom i love muchly and passed all my GCSE's!! (1.5 A's, 6 B's and 2 C's).

 

Now i'm at a sixth form academy at College which is pretty cool. Made loads of friends there and even though half of them found out about rumours and such cos some people who know them go to College and hate me already i honestly don't care cos there's a load of people by my side who are staying with me through it. Some people are trying to turn my friends against me and some are succeeding but in the end i'm finding out who my true friends are and i'm glad i know cos i tell secrets too easily and when they get out it's not good... So yeah. I still can't talk to my parents, my childminders son was my boss for a while at the job i have now and was trying to get together with me not so long ago, i still talk to Sophie even tho she's moved away. And no matter how down i've been feeling lately i know that there's people here for me even if it's not anyone who can do anything about it.

 

 

wow.... i actually go on.... and that's hardly anything of what i coulda said... i sound like such a drama queen, haha

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so this is going to suck...

 

Sam was born on December 9, 1991 in Cherry Point. Her father was in the Marines and her mother was a stay at home mom at the time. She had a brother who was 3 at the time. When she was six months old she moved to New Hampshire with her family, to the house that she still lives in today. But her family wasn't all that peachy, her father was screwed up from being in the gulf war. Later that year, right around Sam's first birthday her parents divorced. She lived with her mother and saw her dad only on the weekend for a few years.

When she started kindergarten, Sam's aunt died and her father was so messed up that he moved away. He only came back home once in a period of 10 years. Yeah, it pretty much sucked.

So Sam lived her elementary and middle school life like a semi-normal child. She never really had any true friends except for sports. SHe did have one really good friend, Cory, that she was inseperable from, but he moved to arizona after the first grade (heartbroken anyone??) She was good at sports and they never let her down. Music was also nice to her too.

By Sam's 8th grade year, she started to become depressed because of her father-less life and the fact that she felt like she could never do anything right - even though she now had more friends than she had ever had before. She even became suicicidal. It took a while to dig herself out of this hole but she eventually did. This happened when one day her father (whom she hadn't seen in 9 years) randomly emailed her and then she started to get her life back on track.

But then she met him and he started lying to her and crap and it all went down hill from there. They no longer talk.

But Sam has done alot, despite that. She just went to New York to be in a All-American Marching band that she worked really hard to get in to and she had the time of her life. and she has a wonderful boyfriend that she likes alot and makes her really happy.

the only thing that is in her way of being really happy now is the fact that she has to see her dad in a couple weeks and doesn't really know if she wants to or not:\

 

sorry for the suckyness...i had nothing better to do with my time.

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oh my gosh that is so sadddd *huggless*

*hugs back*

 

what do you mean no where as bad !

that's sad, I mean, I'm sorry you had to experience those things...as I said before... a lot of you are very strong people, personally I don't think I could get through any of that

 

yeah really, what do you mean its nothing? thats effing horrible.

 

It's life, and I have to get used to it and try to move on, right? I try to shove any emotion down so I don't have to feel more pain than what is already being inflicted. (Not trying to be rude, I know you just want to help)

 

why do ppl have to be so abusive?

 

That's what I'd like to know. It's something no one should ever have to go through.

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