What's YOUR Story?

[Guest Arya]

Everyone has a story of their life. Each is unique and awesome to share. So I'd like to challenge everyone here.

 

What's your story?

[Parawhore914]

Kayla's a confused little 14 year old girl who thinks that's she's bi. At school she's only known as the girl whose best friends with the girl that makes her question her sexuality or the wierd poser. She's constantly fighting a battle with herself, always taking into consideration on what people say about her. Her self esteem? Balancing between an all time high and low because she takes people's words so seriously most of the time.

She loves music, that's the only thing that keeps her alive for the time being. Hopefully she'll go to a different school next year to escape all the frustration and the confusion the past three years have caused. Yes, she runs away from her fears and is constantly critized for that flaw in the otherwise "perfect surface". But no matter what, no matter all the obstacles she seems to overcome and no matter how you see her: wether it be skinny, goth, poser, shadow, lurker, hottie, smart, brown noser, drama freak, lesbian, whatever; there's always that one thing that keeps her going. The two sentences that constantly goes through her head everyday: You are someone, it doesn't matter however they see you because, only Kayla knows her true self. Only Kayla can judge herself and that's the only opinion that will ever matter.

 

And that? That is the real story of Kayla.

[holleh]

So this is gonna be long...

 

I was born in Mission blah blah blah...

My dad beat me until I was 15 months old. That kinda sucked. My mom finally left him and we were on our own for a while.

My mom was on welfare so it was pretty hard to get by and stuff. My brother had to go into a foster home when he was 7 cause he tried to kill my mom. (Yes you read that right) So for a long time it was just me and my mom. My brother came home on the weekends.

My dad doesn't really wanna have anything to do with me. There's not really much to put about him.

My mom was with this guy, his name was Jerry. She thought it was love but he was sexually molseting both me and my brother. When she found out she left him right away.

Then there was Will. I thought he was a pretty cool guy for the first few months. (Keep in mind, I'm only about 5 at this point) Then he started to hit my brother. It started out as little dsmacks here and there but then it turned into punches. I remember getting up one night to go to the bathroom and he had my brother by the neck and was smashing his head up against the wall. It really scared me.

My mom left him but then he came back. She didn't want to admit it but he was hitting her to. And then it went from her to me. He would pick me up litterally by my ear or my hair if I ddn't do something right. There was another instance where I wanted to play sega and he didn't want me to so he grabbed me by my hair and threw me against the wall. He had heart problems and shit so he just sat around doing nothing. And when he was doing something good, it usually turned to be a warfest between him and my mom.

After she left him, things were a lot better. I went off to school and it was great.

Even before school started I had to go to court to try and get Jerry in Jail. It was the wordt thing seeing him again. I was only 6. He would try and get my attention during the hearing but I did everything in my power not to look at him. Things went on and stuff.

Fast-Foward to when I was 13.

Grade 7 I decided to call my dad. He picked up we talked for about 5 minutes. The conversation consisted of a lot of "But your mom has to sign these papers that say I can talk to you..." I remember the last thing I said to him was "So basically you don't want to talk to me ever again?"

And he said "Well...No." and just hung up. Since then musiv is pretty much the only thing keeping me alive right now. Thank go for that!

Fast-foward again to now.

From then to now, I'm a totally different person. I stand up for myself and shit. I see my real dad sometimes around town. He doesn't even look at me.

A year ago, I found out that Jerry had done it to another little girl. I swore to my mom if I saw him I would kill him. Right now he's on house arrest. I've tried to kill myself on more than one occasion but my life pretty much is great now. I have great friends and people I can talk to. I even found this really cool message board where we talk about Paramore and a bunch of other stuff. I feel like I've gotten really close to everyone here.

 

 

Wow, this took a lot.

[Parawhore914]

whoa holly that's....that's deep. I'm sorry about your childhood.

[MarMaramore]

Well, I've (so far) grown up with a Mother, a prick of a stepdad, an abusive druggie father, and a drunk, abusive step mother. Basically, from ages 3 to 10,my parents switched me on the weekends between houses. At my father's I was yelled at, beaten, ignored, and depressed as all getouts. my stepmom would throw stuffat me, and my 2 and 3 yearold sisters, she would get drunk and leave us in the middle of a store, while she went to go buy more booze, leaving the store while I walked home with two screaming kids in my arms... Finally, when my stepmom decided to try to throw a knife at me, I decided to lock her and my dad out of the house and call 911... I now live with my Mother and stepdad (prick) fulltime. My mom didn't want my little sisters (who my father and stepmom had) so they are now living with some family that I don't know in Alabama. Well, I had depression issues a lot. I thought about killing myself, I used to cut myself, get drunk, tried to OD a few times so I could stop everyone letting me down all the time. My mum works from the hour i get home from school til the hour I have to go back to school, so I never spend time with her. My stepdad sits in his room smoking, or just isnt home. I basically take care of myself for the most part. I always wrote a lot of music, but not as much as I do now.. I used to do it because it was something to do, but now it helps me not to hurt myself when people let me down. I have now moved and entire city away from my hometown, and go to a private school for nerds and musicians.

[Jammer]

Well a long, long time (nearly 21 years) ago, a boy called James was thrust into this world, and his loving brother (then only 2) said 'Ugh, take it back!'

 

The first few years of his life were pretty mediocre, spent hanging around the newsagent he lived in with his family. And then one day at primary school, he met Paul, who was one of the most awesome people in the world, and he and James became best friends for the next umpteen years, through primary school and into comprenhensive.

 

At the age of 12, James started at Belmont School, which would become the start of the darkest fives years of his life. Every day was a battle with the bullies and haters, and even worse, after two years he and Paul stopped being friends completely. There were times when they would make up and become friends again, but very quickly they'd fall out, all because of Paul's wishes to 'fit in'. Therefore James felt like he couldn't rely on other people anymore and became a loner.

 

Fast forward to when James was 17, and he left School for Sixth Form, and also the family finally moved out of that damned newsagents to a place in County Durham which was very plesant. James soon found that there were other people like him, who grew up hating the fact they felt leftout, and for the next two years he was on Cloud Nine, as he had plenty of awesome new friends to hang with. This was also the time when he discovered the joys of music, and more importantly, the joy of the live gig.

 

After that, James started at University, where things weren't as good as they were in College, but he still managed to keep his chin up, from studying Imperialism in British History through to walking down Scarborough beach on Geography study trips and more.

 

Now he is doing his final year of university, and where James goes from there, only he knows...

 

And Holly...that's pretty dman scrwed up. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. *gives massive hugs*

[Guest chriz]

i wish i could write my story but i guess it would get to long and personal for me .....

but yeah maybe ill try it later

[WayneFarro]

^ yeah me too, my story's long too so it'll take a while to write. maybe some other time.

[Jozen]

Holly's story almost made me cry. No one deserves that.

[iOta]

I was born october 5th 1989 10 minutes later than my twin. I looked like mom and she looked like dad. I've 4 siblings and I'm the one who got the least of attention, I was an easy kid. I never ran away or did something forbidden. Unlike my sister who ran away wearing her swimsuit and poured syrup all over the floor.

The first time I went to Canada (okay, the first I can remember) when I was about 6 or 8 years old. We went to the Rockies and I remember that it was so cold that when we went to the Columbia ice fields, I stayed in the car almost the whole time.

In elementary school I was very boyish, I wore boys clothes. One girl made fun of my sister and I punch her in the face, dad was pissed and mad but I would have done it anyway.

I danced ballet for 7½ years, my knees hurted so bad while dancing. Then I came depressed and blaa blaa (I've wrote a story of it at flyleaffans.com). I had a hamster but she lived only for 1½ years, she died while walking to her bathroom. I started playing floorball. I had knee supports for 2 years, I hated them. Nothing special happened in school.

Today I'm graduating from high school, still playing floorball (no knee supports!), I have a cat that came to our door few years ago. She's our b*tch <3

As for future; I'm want to become a nurse.

[Guest chriz]

well i guess i start my story .......

 

well the begining was ok just a normal youth like everybody should have i guess

not to much attention just enough and i learne dto have respect for all

i guess the shit started when i turned 13 when my grandmother and grandfather died and a year after that my cousin hang himself ...after that i got depressed and started cutting myself at that time i was thinking it would go away .....

how could i know that even today i would feel the need to cut..

well the cutting was only the start of it all after that i started to take painkillers with alcohol i really wanted to leave this world ....... a couple years later i got help ......it went ok untill last december when both of my other grandparents died within 2 weeks after that moment everything changed it was like i wasnt alive ... i struggled with that feeling for 6 months untill i got my job and i started with my new life ... yes with the need to cut but without the cutting it self

i guess thats pretty much where i am not at that point that i know it is wrong and i can control it ...

 

 

 

 

well it isnt all of it but i guess its a big part in a short story so that you wouldnt get bored

[RenegadeRoss]

Well i was born on the 22nd of June 1988, which is incredably the exact same date of birth as someone else on here! I cant quite remember who it was though.

 

At Primary school i was always quite the brainy child, getting top marks in test and always appearing in school plays. Even playing Joseph once in a Christmas play!

I always involved in stuff. Even playing in the school Football (soccer) team. I was happy and carefree. I loved it.

 

Fastforwad to highschool and suddenly it seemed different. I wasnt really too smart anymore, just, in the middle. Not smart, but not brainless. Just inbetween. I thought stuff would just carry on from Primary but obviously not. MY love of football continued though.

High School didnt start the best for me though. In my first year, my gran's dog had to get put down because he had lost all feeling in his legs. He was 13 years old, the same age as me so i had grown up with him. I loved him so much. He was like a best friend to me. I just had this special bond with him. Some people might think thats strange cause its a dog. But i got attached to him. Its still been the saddest day of my life yet. It broke my heart to lose him. I still have his collar till this very day, but i cant look at it. I still get tears. I still miss him

It took me to get strong again after that but at school i was shy, no confidence and very quiet. I got bullied for a while. Untill one day, i just turned round and punched one of them full force. I had had enough.

From then on it stopped. Surprisngly.

I hated high school to be honest. My year at school was full of snobs who thought they were better than everyone else.

Football always got me through stuff though. Its the thing im most passionate about and most knowledgeable on. So i always turned to that to cheer me up.

 

Through football i met a girl called Louise. She has turned into my best and most cloest friend i have, and through her, i have made so many friends too. She's changed me. Im more confident and imnot as shy anymore because of her. For that i am most grateful to her and i love her so much for it. She even influenced my music. It was her who got me into Paramore!

 

Now i work as a Baker making rolls and cakes and things. And about a month ago i joined this very forum, where i hope to fit in and would like to get to know you all better because you all seem very nice and cool bunch of people.

[WayneFarro]

i'm gonna write mine when i get home then copy and paste it into this thread, cos it might take a while.

 

i know some of you, like me have had bad experiences but can someone write some nice stories cos i don't want things to get too gloomy here.

[Lahninja]

yeah i'll write mine on word,

and then C+P onto here.

 

im gonna leave out a few things that i really dont want people to know.

sozza.

[arrrrr x matey]

omg all these stories are so emotional, i feel so bad. i cant imagine having to grow up like that.

 

so heres my story...pretty boring. but still, its my story.

 

so on may 10th, 1991 i was born, which was a miracle b/c months before that they thought it was gonna be a miscarriage, then thought that i would be born with problems, and i wasnt [thank god.] so i was loved by my mom, dad, and moms side of the family, but my dads side didnt like me. my gmom, and aunt didnt like me, but didnt have the nerve to say it. then my sister was born 3 years later, and the only thing that went along with that was the baby getting more attention..but thats a given. my childhood was good, until my grandpop died when i was 7 years old. it devastated me, but i've moved on, even though i still really miss him now.

 

so the whole good childhood thing went away when i was in 8th grade. i started with some symptoms of bipolar but didnt talk to anyone about anything. i was depressed alot more, but kept it all in to myself. my grades went from straight A's to B's/C's, and D's on progress reports. my parents started to flip. we would constantly scream at each other, i'd get hit b/c of my attitude or lieing or just for being annoying at the time.

 

fast forward to my freshman year of high school. the symptoms of bipolar worsened. i was depressed most of the time, and didnt bother to fake any kind of happy, just would put a smile on if people decided to look at me. my grades were still horrible, and all that crap still went on. my best friend was going through some family shit, so of course being the good friend i am i helped her with all her problems while dealing with all the stuff i was keeping inside [that i'm not mentioning here, sorry]. the burden of my family stuff, my personal stuff, and my best friend was getting to be too much for me. i started cutting. that turned out to be my only solution to my problems. then as this stuff was getting worse, my great gmom died, which was horrible. i was extremely close to her, and i was always there for her, even when she developed alzheimers. that only made things worse for me. i continued cutting, but it was worse than before. then i found out that my best friend [who i was helping out before my great gmom died] was gonna be going to a catholic prep school, and i wouldnt' be able to see her anymore. then my parents forbade me from seeing her [which is still true till this day], and she was the only person i could vent things to. i started thinking about suicide, tryed ODing a couple times, but nothing worked. i happened to make a new friend back in 8th grade, and that year we became closer than ever. she helped me through all my shit for the summer.

 

go to soph year now. the bipolar was worse than ever. extreme highs to extreme lows. i started back with the cutting, trying to OD, and everything else that i was recently getting over. i swallowed 94 motrin with some vodka, and that didnt even kill me. my friend had to help me for months trying to get me to stop wanting to kill myself. my parents found out about everything through some myspace comments [this is why i dont have a myspace today] and they put me in therapy. after going through one deuchbag of a therapist, i went to a new place. they sent me to their phycayatrist, who diagnosed me as bipolar. i was put on medication, and thats been working for me ever since.

 

but now recently, even with the medication, i've been thinking some things. then i realize thats stupid and stop thinking of that stuff right away, which is an upgrade from before. my grades were good for the first quarter, but i know there gonna get worse. i have no idea what i'm doing in trig or physics, and i know that nothing good is gonna come of that. but other than that right now, i've been alright.

 

also, from the end of my 8th grade year till about mid last year [soph year] i was confused about my sexuality, and i considered myself bi. then about mid last year i realized that i was a lesbian, not bisexual. i came out to my parents, and they lectured me for literally 6 hours on how i'm too young to know that. now they just ignore it. we dont speak of anything related to that, i cant even mention anyone i think is hot cause they'll just make me stop. i cant even come out to the rest of my family.

 

 

so this is where i stand now. i had a little more i wanted to put in, but the bell is going to ring in 2 minutes to go to my next class. maybe i'll add the rest, maybe i wont. idk.

[arrrrr x matey]

haha, that was an outline. did you read mine? haha its so long and it said nothing...so everyone, i apoligize for that. sorry!! and your a triplet? thats awesome.

[Jammer]

Katie, reading yours nearly made me cry.

 

I always thought I had a tough time growing up, but after reading some of the stuff in here it's told me not to be so damned selfish, cause others have been through worse than I have.

[indabisofmisery]

katie, holly, and mariah... i admire your strength when facing adversity throughought your lives (however cheesy that may sound)

 

as for me, i was born in 1991... and i really don't have anything interesting to say. i lived in new york with a huge italian family. i ate a LOT (no, i'm not fat =P). my sister was born 16 months after i was, but we were generally treated equally throughout our lives (except for now, cuz she's an annoying head case =P jk). i was REALLY weird... things like blue toilet water and my mom's hair (straightened) scared the crap out of me, and i'm not really sure why, cuz i'm not really that weird now. i was basically a tomboy until 8th grade, when i developed a strange likeness to the color pink, which soon turned to black, simply for its slimming features =). i've always been absolutely obsessed with my grades, which yields good results, i've found. i'm extremely into sports... that is, softball and skateboarding, and (don't mean to sound like a geek or anything) i love history. i hang out with my mother about as much as i do with my friends (which isn't weird... she looks like she could be my friend) so, like i said, my life is pretty boring, but it works out o.k. for me.

[holleh]

Holly's story almost made me cry. No one deserves that.

 

The awsome thing is it's in the past.

Like I know it was hard but now it's done.

I'm sorry for alomst making you cry.

I cried writing it.

[Guest chriz]

aaaaaaahw holly and hug for you

[Lahninja]

Sorry, its a long one guys...

 

 

 

Ok, my story.

 

Lahni was born on the 12th June 1993, in South Harrow, London. When I was about… 3 years old, my mum and dad had an argument. I don’t remember what over, but it got pretty aggressive. Dad was throwing plates and kitchen cutlery around the room like no-ones business, along with throwing the punches at walls and smashing everything in sight, whilst mum was shouting like mad behind me, as she was doing my hair at the time. My dad got really violent and smashed up the whole house completely, leaving hardly anything unbroken. I at this point, ran upstairs crying about the fact that they never argued like this in front of me. My dad would always push it to a certain level, and when he reached that, he would stop, and walk out the house for a week. But this time, my mum had to call the police in to take him away, but cos my dad was proper strong like, he had to have 3 policemen take him away. Soon around a year after this, they split up and dad moved out with this freak called Debbie (coincidently my mums name, he has a thing for Debbie’s, don’t as why, lol) and she was a bitch.

 

We later moved out (me and my mum) to a flat not so far away from that house, and a few weeks later, we found out that a 4 year old girl was raped in the back alley of our house by a stranger to the neighbourhood, and he was breaking into everyone’s houses there at the time. So we were glad to move away from that shitetip. Also, my mum got a job working for BT, being a secretary for the owner of the building at this time, so I would have to go and be babysat by Debbie (Dad’s girlfriend, who had recently just broke up from my dad.) She bullied me in everyway possible. ‘You come from a dirty family, you’re a fucking dirty kind, half cast bitch. You’ll grow up to be just like your father, angry and violent, and a good for nothing’ at which point I will stop there, cos otherwise I will be crying more.

 

But anything you can think of racist, insults about family or anything, she would do it. At one point, she met a guy on the internet, who was living in Scotland at the time, and he moved in with her. (You can kind of guess where this leads to...) About a week after he moved in, Debbie decided to go shopping, and left me alone with this guy who I had no idea who he was. It was about 12 when she left, and about an hour and a half after that, he sexually assaulted me, on more than one occasion. This lasted for about a month, at least 4 times. I later went home with cuts and bruises all over me, and my mum took me out of care from Debbie and that bastard of a man.

 

So then I got looked after by my friend’s mum, who had a boyfriend called Alan. And yes, he also sexually assaulted me. And he tried to grab me by the wrist whilst my mum and her friend were in the house (my friends mum was friends with mine), and I had it with being raped from A to B, so I punched him and knocked him out. I was 6, and he was 28. So I started cutting myself at the early age of 7, a week before we moved.

 

We then moved away to the Isle of Wight (currently living) where things have been a lot better. I still get the odd few racist remarks shouted at me from across the street, but I pay no attention anymore. I used to be so upset about the remarks that were shouted at me, that I would cut myself even more. At the age of 11, I just couldn’t take it anymore. Then I started ODing every night, as many pills in the house that we had, downed with 2 litres of vodka (Alcoholic syndromes would kick in about now) along with the smoking of 15 fags a day stolen from anywhere I could get them, but I never did this at home, it was always down the beach. Then It got so bad, that I resorted to drug taking. Name anything, and I can guarantee you I’ve done it. For the next 3 years, I wore an arm support to cover all the cuts and stuff from my mum, but I knew one day she’d find out. So she put me in counselling, where I never talked about what actually got me down. I just made up random crap to get me through the pain filled hour that was being wasted on nothing. Then from there, everything went downhill, and she told me I might be bipolar or whatever. So from then onwards to this present day, im still a complete emotional wreck, but have stopped the alcohol, drugs and smoking. Cutting is still an issue and so is the overdosing, but im working through that.

 

Tomorrow I have a doctors appointment, and im gonna see how that goes.

 

 

END.

[Parawhore914]

Wow Lahni, I'm so sorry...I don't even know what say right now except that...:/

[Lahninja]

mm :/

[arrrrr x matey]

omg lahni...i dont even know what to say. =[[

 

 

but i'm glad you finally could get a doctor.

[arrrrr x matey]

Katie, reading yours nearly made me cry.

 

I always thought I had a tough time growing up, but after reading some of the stuff in here it's told me not to be so damned selfish, cause others have been through worse than I have.

 

mine nearly made you cry? it was like nothing compared to everyone elses. lol. they almost made me cry. and your not selfish.