ds9snowboarding Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 Ok so this one is horrible but.... what's the difference between a ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a ferrari in my garage haha sorry I heard this today and thought someone may laugh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G3vans Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 MASSIIIIIVE Bump. I was testing the children in my local Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to Heaven. I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven ?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?' Again, the answer was, 'NO!' By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! 'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my wife would that get me into Heaven?' I asked them again. Again, they all answered, 'NO!' I was just bursting with pride for them. Well, I continued, 'then how can I get into Heaven?' A six-year-old boy from Glasgow shouted out.... "YOU'VE GOT TAE BE DEID!!!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zHairA Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 wat do bees call their love/gf? ..... hey! honey!...v^^v joke3! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waketheearth Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 dead baby jokes, ftw. hahahahahaahahh. What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art. and How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out again? With tortilla chips!!! What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye! okay im leaving now. HAHAHAAH. i feel deranged and sick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiaisradder Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 My brother told me this one, kind of lame but; What's the difference between beer nuts & deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.25, but deer nuts are always under a buck :l Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travel_hymn Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 rofl ^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ana Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 A Father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of his bed. It was addressed "DAD". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: DEAR DAD, IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET & SORROW THAT I'M WRITING YOU THIS LETTER. I HAD TO ELOPE WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MUM & YOU. I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE EVEN WITH ALL HER PIERCING, TATTOOS & HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES. BUT IT'S NOT ONLY HER PASSION DAD, SHE'S PREGNANT & BARBARA SAID THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY. EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER AS SHE IS MUCH OLDER THAN I, SHE ALREADY OWNS A TRALIER IN HTE WOODS & HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD FOR THE WHOLE OF WINTER. SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF MY DREAMS TOO. BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE AND WE WILL BE GROWING IT FOR ALL THE COCAINE & ECSTASY WE WANT. IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO BARBARA CAN GET BETTER SHE SURE DESERVES IT!!! DON'T WORRY DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF. SOMEDAY I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR GRANDCHILDREN. P.S DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOUR'S HOUSE. I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAT MY REPORT CARD THATS IN MY DESK CENTRE DRAWER I LOVE YOU! CALL ME WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME. :rotfl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zHairA Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 Spaghetti A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. On the card was written "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ana Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 One day a blonde text me asking "what does IDK stand for? everyone seems to be using it!" which i reply "i dont know" and shes like "gosh! no one does!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arrrrr x matey Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 i love thsi thread. not a joke, but a pick-up line i found funny. do you own a chicken farm? cause you sure can raise a cock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Komomaan Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 dead baby jokes, ftw.hahahahahaahahh. What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art. and How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender! How do you get them out again? With tortilla chips!!! What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye! okay im leaving now. HAHAHAAH. i feel deranged and sick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 A blonde fired an arrow into the sky. She missed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XMusicDudetteX Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 A blonde fired an arrow into the sky. She missed. Oh my goodness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissafarro Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 i have a gay joke my friend told me how do u knoe when your at a gay picnic? a: when all the hot dogs taste like shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arrrrr x matey Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 ^lmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crush3x Posted December 21, 2008 Report Share Posted December 21, 2008 i have a gay joke my friend told me how do u knoe when your at a gay picnic? a: when all the hot dogs taste like shit I've heard that one before. Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G3vans Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 What do 2 gay men do in a phone box? ....Ring each other Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meganm15 Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 A blonde fired an arrow into the sky. She missed. i have a gay joke my friend told me how do u knoe when your at a gay picnic? a: when all the hot dogs taste like shit :rotfl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia Posted December 22, 2008 Report Share Posted December 22, 2008 i have a gay joke my friend told me how do u knoe when your at a gay picnic? a: when all the hot dogs taste like shit Omg. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zHairA Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 One day a blonde text me asking "what does IDK stand for? everyone seems to be using it!"which i reply "i dont know" and shes like "gosh! no one does!" :rotfl: :rotfl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxchick93 Posted December 30, 2008 Report Share Posted December 30, 2008 Ok so this one is horrible but.... what's the difference between a ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a ferrari in my garage haha sorry I heard this today and thought someone may laugh hahaha. my friends told me that and i started laughing soo hard earlier. i reali should find dead baby jokes amusing:shifty: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roxchick93 Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 how do blondes brain cells die? alone. lame. i got it from twilight. i wanted to bump this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x-Decoy Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Came across this one yesterdayyy.. 19 blondes went to the cinema, and one of the girl's dates turns around and asks why she brought so many people. She replies "cuz it says its over 18's.." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andalix Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Came across this one yesterdayyy.. 19 blondes went to the cinema, and one of the girl's dates turns around and asks why she brought so many people. She replies "cuz it says its over 18's.." Damn! My brain isn't working now. Lol. I havent heard it before! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allie<3 Posted January 20, 2009 Report Share Posted January 20, 2009 theres 2 muffins in an oven..one muffin says dude its hot in here and the other muffin said omg a talking muffin!!! this guy walk into wal-mart and hes blind with a seeing-eye dog. he takes the dog and swings it around and the manager says, can i help you with anything and he says nope, just lookin around:rotfl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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