Jammer Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 ...how I'm feeling right now. Well, me and my parents were on holiday in London for last week, and we were due to come back yesterday, but at around 6 in the morning there was a knock on the hotel room door. It was the police, and they had some bad news. My brother had been involved in a horrific car crash on the Friday night. He died instantly at the scene. There's no words to describe how I felt when I heard those words. It felt as though someone had driven a sledge hammer into my gut, and the look on my mam's face was just heart breaking. We got the first train home that day, and since then it's been an almighty mess. Family have come and gone, we've talked to the police...but it still feels as though this is just a horrible dream and my brother's going to walk through the front door in one piece. But he's not going to, not ever. The story's even in the local papers, but they haven't released any names yet while the police make an enquiry. Whenever I read it says 'a man died on the scene', I feel so angry. It wasn't a random 'man', it was my brother. He may have been a pain in the backside half the time, but I still loved him. He wasn't just my brother, he was my best friend. No matter how many stupid things I did, he was always there to help me out. Those of you who've lost a loved one, I know how you felt now. And I wish I never feel the same way again in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andalix Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 James, I am so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 I'm so sorry to hear that James, I really am Be strong and if you ever wanna talk then I'd be more than willing to listen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 OMG! i'm so sorry James. :hug::hug::hug: My condolences to you and your family. I can't even imagine.... I'm so sorry, If you need to talk, i'm here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paint the sky grey Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Omg that's so horrible! I'm really sorry for you & I hope that your brother will rip... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
my_sundown Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 I am truly sorry, James. and i really hope you never feel the same way again in your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwik-silva Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Oh god.. That's my worst nightmare, I have 3 brothers, and I can't imagine losing one of them. I'm really sorry man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STOPthissong! Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Oh my gosh that's awful I'm so sorry! I really can't imagine how you must be feeling but just hang on in there and be strong. My thoughts are with you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UrLittleDecoy Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 holy god, that's horrible i'm so sorry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hubabalou Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Oh James, I am so sorry. My prayers go out to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guro Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Oh my, James I am so sorry to hear that! My thoughts are with you and your family. May he rest in peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Le Venin Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 I am so, so sorry to read about this James. My thoughts will be with you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 My condolences James ... I hope you get better soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelsea Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 I'm so sorry to hear this. I cannot imagine being in your position. Best goes to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indabisofmisery Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 aww james i'm so sorry i wish i could hug you!!! :hug: :hug: if you need anything, virtually, of course, please don't hesitate to contact me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x-Decoy Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 aww my god thats awful i hope you're okay :hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watchthesky Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 that's horrible i'm sorry for your loss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jchurch004 Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 ug wow. james man, that really is terrible to hear. but i truly do feel for you man. almost two years has passed since i lost someone so dear to me. and up until that point i had never even lost a grandparent, so it was so new to me. i grew up in a really small town and my neighbor turned out to be my closest friend. growing up we always had all the same classes, did all the same sports and everyone just categorized us as a pair. they called us twins, because we even sort of looked alike. he was my best friend, and the "sorta" older brother i never had. even his family took me in when mine was going through some rough patches, and i still to this day go and see them whenever i am home to spend time with them. i got a call when i was up at a school from a really good friend who was crying uncontrollaby, and when he told me the news i didnt believe him. and so i got off the phone and laid back down...two seconds passed and another friend called me...the same story. after that i called my mother, and just lost it...she told me to come home now, and i disagreed telling her i had class. all day i sat with a blank face in each class, not knowing what to think or how to react. another good friend of both of ours went to college with me, and was in most of my classes...he kept telling me to go home, but it was only tuesday. wednesday i was in class, and i dont know what happened, but i had to get up and go to the bathroom...as i was leaving the bathroom, the professor i had saw me and how much trouble i had to be going through...she asked what was wrong and i just unloaded and told her everything. she told me that school could wait, and my place was at home. i needed to be with his family, and be with the people i love. but even when i was home, i just didnt know what to do or say, or how to react. i was mad all the time. people would want to talk, and i would always blow them off. people would want to console and tell me that they were so sorry that i no longer had him in my life, but it just made me more mad. at the wake i sat at his closed coffin and just cried and looked at the picture of him and i. people tried to get me to move along, but i brushed them off. why was he driving so fast that night? and why was it biggest damned tree in the world that he had to hit?? i knew deep down it had to be for a reason, but looking at my family and his...and a lot of the close friends we shared...i couldnt find it. and that made me more mad. james, i feel real bad for you, because i know just how rough this life will be without him in it. i truly hope that you learn to cope with the pain better than i did. because even to this day i am haunted by it. it hurts so bad, and i wish for it to happen to nobody. but that will never ever be possible. someone everyday will feel the pain we both felt. losing a best friend...a brother...a sister...whatever it may be. it always feels the same. all i can tell is to be more open and talkative about it with your family and friends. and try not to get mad at them...because they are only trying to help. i shut myself off for a few months and it really affected a lot of my relationships. but i had no understanding of what was going on or what i was feeling. my prayers go out to you man, and your family. be strong for them, but never think you cant let your guard down...especially now. dont be the way i was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elusive. Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Omg, that is awful. I'm so sorry for your loss :hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anavi Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 My condolences to you and your familly James. I feel your pain i have no idea what would i do if something hapened to my brother. so so terrible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJ Riot Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 omg thats awful james i am so sorry for ur loss mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jammer Posted August 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 Thanks everyone. It really means a lot. Me and my parents went up to see the spot where the crash happened earlier today, and there's dozens of bunches of flowers and pictures there, from all his friends who've been there to visit already. It's good to know that whever he is now, he had a lot of people who cared about him. I still can't believe it fully. I do other things to try and take my mind off of it, but it feels as though I'm just going through the motions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catie Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 james! i'm so so so so sorry hun!:hug: i know how you feel the same exact thing happened to my uncle a few years ago. if you ever need anything you can come to me :hug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travel_hymn Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling right now. In fact, I'm actually crying about it. You're a great guy James and you don't deserve this. I'm really sorry, man. Condolences to you and your family, I wish I could send you something, even a hug! I'm sorry James, once again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the1 Posted August 9, 2009 Report Share Posted August 9, 2009 I'm sorry to hear this. Just so long as you know we are always here for you if you feel like getting stuff off your chest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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